miss_jaclynrae Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I see so many threads asking about how to approach "girls" and I have to say that I don't get why men complicate it so much. -It isn't rocket science, see someone you want to get to know? Talk to them. -They act like they don't want to talk to you? Take the rejection and move on to the next one. -She keeps talking? Ask her for her number. -She doesn't give you her number? Move on. I like to think it is best to use what you got. We can tell when you are forcing it or trying to be something you aren't. We will let you know if we are interested. You may all jump on me now and go on about how easy it is being a woman and blah blah blah... but truth is I get rejected too, the key is to not care so damn much! 7
brahmabull117 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 You get rejected? Do you approach Brad Pitt or Tom Brady?
ptp Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 You are trivializing what it takes to go up to a woman who you know literally nothing about and generate an interesting conversation. If the average guy could simply say "I think you are pretty and I want to get to know you over a cup of coffee" and that worked, it wouldn't be that hard. However, that doesn't usually work. 3
madjac74 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I see so many threads asking about how to approach "girls" and I have to say that I don't get why men complicate it so much. -It isn't rocket science, see someone you want to get to know? Talk to them. -They act like they don't want to talk to you? Take the rejection and move on to the next one. -She keeps talking? Ask her for her number. -She doesn't give you her number? Move on. I like to think it is best to use what you got. We can tell when you are forcing it or trying to be something you aren't. We will let you know if we are interested. You may all jump on me now and go on about how easy it is being a woman and blah blah blah... but truth is I get rejected too, the key is to not care so damn much! It is much easier from your female point of view for sure.
Radu Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I see so many threads asking about how to approach "girls" and I have to say that I don't get why men complicate it so much. -It isn't rocket science, see someone you want to get to know? Talk to them. -They act like they don't want to talk to you? Take the rejection and move on to the next one. -She keeps talking? Ask her for her number. -She doesn't give you her number? Move on. I like to think it is best to use what you got. We can tell when you are forcing it or trying to be something you aren't. We will let you know if we are interested. You may all jump on me now and go on about how easy it is being a woman and blah blah blah... but truth is I get rejected too, the key is to not care so damn much! Unless you do it too, you won't get it. Ugly yourself up, and approach 100men in the nearest mall, pick the actractive ones.
brahmabull117 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Unless you do it too, you won't get it. Ugly yourself up, and approach 100men in the nearest mall, pick the actractive ones. I'm inclined to agree with you guys. Even though she claims she hits on men, an attractive woman hitting on a man compared to a regular guy hitting on an attractive woman...well it's like benchpressing 135 LBs compared to benchpressing 400 LBs Sure you're technically doing the same things in both times, but one is a hell of a lot easier
USMCHokie Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I see so many threads asking about how to approach "girls" and I have to say that I don't get why men complicate it so much. Agreed. We are all our own worst enemy. We create our own dating reality in our minds...and it may very well not coincide with reality...but we'll still see it as reality and either act or not act based upon it... 1
Cracker Jack Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Well, it's easy for you because you're a woman, so of course you can encourage men to approach and not worry about facing rejection as much as us....just kidding. Good advice overall. Most guys are just afraid of rejection. To be honest, my fear of it still hasn't gone away completely. I can still be pretty nervous when it comes to the idea of approaching. However, rejection is not a big deal, and most guys need to get over what is essentially an irrational fear. The worse she can do is insult you in front of everyone, but that doesn't happen often. You can't allow the fear of rejection to run your life. Being a 24 yr old guy, I regret allowing it to have this much control over me for the majority of my life. Taking risks is better than hiding in your bubble. The best way to avoid rejection is to avoid women (and anything that requires risk) your entire life, and I'm sure most guys really don't want to do that.
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 You are trivializing what it takes to go up to a woman who you know literally nothing about and generate an interesting conversation. If the average guy could simply say "I think you are pretty and I want to get to know you over a cup of coffee" and that worked, it wouldn't be that hard. However, that doesn't usually work. That is the thing though, I have to do the same thing. As a matter of fact, I do it a LOT. I go to bars alone all the time, and I have gotten to be on both ends. The one approaching and the ones being approached. There isn't a right or wrong way to do it, the first step is confidence in yourself so that even if they reject you, you know that it is their loss to begin with. Some guys ask to buy me a drink when at the bar, guys who hit on me at work have done everything from asking me for help, to just walking up and telling me that they couldn't help but come over and talk to me. It is the WAY the person says it, and each person has their own comfort level for approaching... what works for one guy may come out awkward for another. I just don't see why so many men on here over think and "plan" it out. 1
brahmabull117 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Well, it's easy for you because you're a woman, so of course you can encourage men to approach and not worry about facing rejection as much as us....just kidding. Good advice overall. Most guys are just afraid of rejection. To be honest, my fear of it still hasn't gone away completely. I can still be pretty nervous when it comes to the idea of approaching. However, rejection is not a big deal, and most guys need to get over what is essentially an irrational fear. The worse she can do is insult you in front of everyone, but that doesn't happen often. You can't allow the fear of rejection to run your life. Being a 24 yr old guy, I regret allowing it to have this much control over me for the majority of my life. Taking risks is better than hiding in your bubble. The best way to avoid rejection is to avoid women (and anything that requires risk) your entire life, and I'm sure most guys really don't want to do that. The fear of rejection shouldn't be legitimate because you'll know if a girl likes you or not through her body language. If she likes you, ask her out, if she doesn't, walk away. It's really very simple I've never seen a guy get rejected on a number close asking out a girl who was clearly responding well. It just doesn't happen plus a lot of girls hate rejecting guys so they'll give you their number and just not answer when you call them (which is not that bad) The stereotypical idea of rejection of a girl calling you ugly and spilling her drink on your face will practically NEVER happen as long as you act normal 1
USMCHokie Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I just don't see why so many men on here over think and "plan" it out. People on LS think about this sh*t all the time...and then spew it out on the forum for everyone else to discuss...so folks from LS will have a tendency to overanalyze every nuance in every dating situation...including all aspects of execution...
brahmabull117 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 That is the thing though, I have to do the same thing. As a matter of fact, I do it a LOT. I go to bars alone all the time, and I have gotten to be on both ends. The one approaching and the ones being approached. Look, I don't want to insult you because you seem like a nice person and I definitely appreciate your insight and the fact that you do approach But you, as a pretty young woman, approaching men in the dating game is like playing the game on not just easy mode, but retard easy mode with every cheat code activated. You could say anything and guys will be flattered and it will work great because they're so shocked that any girl approached them, much less an attractive one. The guys on here who are average looking or worse are playing the game on hard mode. It's just a world of difference 1
madjac74 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 The fear of rejection shouldn't be legitimate because you'll know if a girl likes you or not through her body language. If she likes you, ask her out, if she doesn't, walk away. It's really very simple I've never seen a guy get rejected on a number close asking out a girl who was clearly responding well. It just doesn't happen plus a lot of girls hate rejecting guys so they'll give you their number and just not answer when you call them (which is not that bad) The stereotypical idea of rejection of a girl calling you ugly and spilling her drink on your face will practically NEVER happen as long as you act normal Defeat tastes the same no matter how it is served
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 I am a big woman guys, I have hit on men who are WAY out of my league and guess what? Some have said no, some have used the "I have a girlfriend" line, and OMG... some have said YES. For crying out loud, I don't look all that great without makeup, and once I went to the bar on a Saturday night in my work clothes and with NO makeup on and still walked out of there with a date with a very attractive man. The best part? I approached him. I went up to him with his three friends [i was there alone too] asked if anyone was sitting at the empty seat, when one of the guys said yes [in a joking ******* manner] I said too bad, took a seat and introduced myself. To sum it up, I ended up talking to the cute one all night, like a REAL conversation, and he asked me out on a date. Let go of the fear guys and just GO for it! What do you have to lose? Looking like an idiot to a stranger who you will probably never see again? So what!
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Look, I don't want to insult you because you seem like a nice person and I definitely appreciate your insight and the fact that you do approach But you, as a pretty young woman, approaching men in the dating game is like playing the game on not just easy mode, but retard easy mode with every cheat code activated. You could say anything and guys will be flattered and it will work great because they're so shocked that any girl approached them, much less an attractive one. The guys on here who are average looking or worse are playing the game on hard mode. It's just a world of difference Or if you read one of my above posts... I win them over with my charming personality. As I said... don't focus on what you don't have going for you, and focus on what you DO. I may not always look my best, but I am great at making good conversation and am giggly, I use that to my advantage and show my confidence and it makes me FAR more attractive. 1
madjac74 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I am a big woman guys, I have hit on men who are WAY out of my league and guess what? Some have said no, some have used the "I have a girlfriend" line, and OMG... some have said YES. For crying out loud, I don't look all that great without makeup, and once I went to the bar on a Saturday night in my work clothes and with NO makeup on and still walked out of there with a date with a very attractive man. The best part? I approached him. I went up to him with his three friends [i was there alone too] asked if anyone was sitting at the empty seat, when one of the guys said yes [in a joking ******* manner] I said too bad, took a seat and introduced myself. To sum it up, I ended up talking to the cute one all night, like a REAL conversation, and he asked me out on a date. Let go of the fear guys and just GO for it! What do you have to lose? Looking like an idiot to a stranger who you will probably never see again? So what! The point is that you have a vagina and vagina is control. There I said it 1
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Sometimes not trying at all and just being you works out GREAT.
brahmabull117 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I am a big woman guys, I have hit on men who are WAY out of my league 1)Guys love tall chicks 2)Unless your picture is ridiculously photo shopped or you're hitting on international male models, there are no men out of your league 3)Not being a white knight, just being honest. I've never seen a woman who was out of my league and I doubt you've ever seen a man out of your league either
ptp Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 That is the thing though, I have to do the same thing. As a matter of fact, I do it a LOT. I go to bars alone all the time, and I have gotten to be on both ends. The one approaching and the ones being approached. There isn't a right or wrong way to do it, the first step is confidence in yourself so that even if they reject you, you know that it is their loss to begin with. Some guys ask to buy me a drink when at the bar, guys who hit on me at work have done everything from asking me for help, to just walking up and telling me that they couldn't help but come over and talk to me. It is the WAY the person says it, and each person has their own comfort level for approaching... what works for one guy may come out awkward for another. I just don't see why so many men on here over think and "plan" it out. Do you think it is fair to say you view on this might be skewed due to your own attractiveness level? Have you ever seen the SNL Tom Brady sexual harassment skit? That skit is so funny because there is so much truth to it. I have friend who is every attractive, he also doesn't find it difficult to approach women mainly because they approach him! He isn't smooth and he has the personality of a cardboard box (I mean that in the nicest way possible:laugh:). His views on dating and his level of success vastly differ from my own.
madjac74 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 1)Guys love tall chicks 2)Unless your picture is ridiculously photo shopped or you're hitting on international male models, there are no men out of your league 3)Not being a white knight, just being honest. I've never seen a woman who was out of my league and I doubt you've ever seen a man out of your league either No offense to Miss Jac but how do you know there isnt 400 pounds of her underneath that smiling profile pic?
USMCHokie Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Let go of the fear guys and just GO for it! What do you have to lose? Looking like an idiot to a stranger who you will probably never see again? So what! Flip the story so that you're out with your friends and some guy randomly comes up to your group and asks if the seat is taken. Let's just assume that it actually is taken and one of your friends left to go to the bathroom. And now let's say he ignores you saying the seat is taken and just sits down anyway and starts talking to you. Is that confidence? Or rudeness? Would it make a difference if he was hot? Or perhaps he's a creepy 60 year old man with a sweet moustache? Perhaps based on your experience, you can say with certainty that everyone will experience the same thing you did...that groups will welcome you with arms wide open. Unfortunately, the world isn't peaches and cream. You were an attractive woman, alone and unafraid, who approached a group of guys. No group of guys will ever deny you entry. Please tell me you honestly believe that women would treat a lone man the same way... I win them over with my charming personality. As I said... don't focus on what you don't have going for you, and focus on what you DO. No, you won them over by being a girl. I may not always look my best, but I am great at making good conversation and am giggly, I use that to my advantage and show my confidence and it makes me FAR more attractive. Guys are easy. You're either a 0 or a 1. For most men, you're likely a 1. 1
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Do you think it is fair to say you view on this might be skewed due to your own attractiveness level? Have you ever seen the SNL Tom Brady sexual harassment skit? That skit is so funny because there is so much truth to it. I have friend who is every attractive, he also doesn't find it difficult to approach women mainly because they approach him! He isn't smooth and he has the personality of a cardboard box (I mean that in the nicest way possible:laugh:). His views on dating and his level of success vastly differ from my own. As I said, I don't look as pretty with no makeup, I don't look horrible... but that isn't the ****ing point! The point is that I HAVE been rejected, I have approached someone out of the blue and tried to make something happen hoping it wouldn't be weird. The key thing I do? Act like they are NOT out of my league.
brahmabull117 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 No offense to Miss Jac but how do you know there isnt 400 pounds of her underneath that smiling profile pic? I don't for sure but her chin/jaw is pretty well defined. There is very little to no chance of her being fat
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Flip the story so that you're out with your friends and some guy randomly comes up to your group and asks if the seat is taken. Let's just assume that it actually is taken and one of your friends left to go to the bathroom. And now let's say he ignores you saying the seat is taken and just sits down anyway and starts talking to you. Is that confidence? Or rudeness? Would it make a difference if he was hot? Or perhaps he's a creepy 60 year old man with a sweet moustache? Perhaps based on your experience, you can say with certainty that everyone will experience the same thing you did...that groups will welcome you with arms wide open. Unfortunately, the world isn't peaches and cream. You were an attractive woman, alone and unafraid, who approached a group of guys. No group of guys will ever deny you entry. Please tell me you honestly believe that women would treat a lone man the same way... No, you won them over by being a girl. Guys are easy. You're either a 0 or a 1. For most men, you're likely a 1. Say what you want, but I am actually quite charming. I have a girl next door vibe that works for me. If a guy did that, used a cheesy line, or was charming, or started asking me what I did for work in a kind manner... all of them I would giggle at. All of them are different ways, all of them natural to different men.... as I said, I am just saying that not ONE way is right, and that the best way to go about it is to just GO for it.
DreamerDeceiver Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 -It isn't rocket science, see someone you want to get to know? Talk to them. -They act like they don't want to talk to you? Take the rejection and move on to the next one. -She keeps talking? Ask her for her number. -She doesn't give you her number? Move on. People on LS think about this sh*t all the time...and then spew it out on the forum for everyone else to discuss...so folks from LS will have a tendency to overanalyze every nuance in every dating situation...including all aspects of execution... Hokie hit the nail right on the head. Miss_Jaclynrae certainly picked a great topic. The simple of act of asking a girl for her number sooner rather than later, has helped me very much. Trying carries little risk but huge payoff In dating, I feel men tend to approach it with too much intellectualization.. not enough action. Who cares if you get rejected... sometimes you succeed and sometimes you learn. If you trip off of a girl's rejection you must not have much going on in your life, to have it impact that much... it's when you let a woman's rejection get you down or tripping out that's the problem, this causes most guys to try to rationalize things they have no control over, making it worse for them for two reasons: 1) They worry more the next time they see a girl they want to chat up, 2) they make themselves weaker. I know I'm blunt and straightforward but that's what I gotta say. After a good number of years of acting like how I described before, I simply don't have the stomach for it anymore. 1
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