dhyan Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 In 2010 I dated a guy for just a couple months. It never got very physical. We didn't see each other that often. But he was crazy about me! I wasn't ready at that time to commit to him;so I broke off our dating. (We'd never even had the exclusivity conversation or anything) We talked again about 8 months later and again 5 months later. Just a phone call here and there. One time we did meet for lunch. He still liked me a lot but I was hoping he and I could REALLY be friends. I liked him and could see him being a good friend. He didn't want that; therefore he didn't want me in his life AT ALL. I was under so much stress trying to get a new job and some other personal stuff, this just really hurt me, but I accepted it. Now here I am, ready for a new relationship and honestly, I have thought about him a lot. I would really like to start dating him and see where it goes. I called him a couple weeks ago to say hi. And he was nice but standoffish. I invited him to dinner. He said he didn't want to meet because he's been through it with me already plenty of times. That wasn't a fair statement considering I was VERY clear with him after I initially broke things off with him in early 2010 that I JUST wanted to be friends and wasn't at a place in my life where I felt like I could start something. Now I am. I told him now I am. Ever since that call, I've just been contemplating...thinking about how unfair and difficult life can be. He would be the perfect partner...it seems. But timing...I missed my "chance" I guess. Should I reach out to him again? Or just chalk it up to not meant to be? I wish he would see me. I never meant to hurt him. I genuinely was not at a good place in my life back then. These mis timings seem like the story of my life. I'm kind of depressed tonight.
LittlePrince Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 You are only interested because someone finally told you no after jerking him around for so long. If women were sane that wouldn't be such a turn on to them. 1
Author dhyan Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 LOL! You've got some wild theories there. NO REALLY, those couple times we touched base 5 and 8 months later..that was HIM ...I would reply with I just want to be friends...are you reaching out to me as a friend? I would make SURE he understood that. He actually did go out to lunch with me with that understanding. I did NOT jerk him around. Have you not ever been through anything difficult in your life??? I could not start a new relationship with anyone till I got my job situation in order. I couldn't even THINK of him in that regard. When I sensed the he was 'secretly' pretending to be my friend but with an agenda that I'd want more...I felt pressured and betrayed too. We were NOT physical. We were JUST friends. So, your theory is wrong. I wasn't jerking him around.
LittlePrince Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 LOL! You've got some wild theories there. NO REALLY, those couple times we touched base 5 and 8 months later..that was HIM ...I would reply with I just want to be friends...are you reaching out to me as a friend? I would make SURE he understood that. He actually did go out to lunch with me with that understanding. I did NOT jerk him around. Have you not ever been through anything difficult in your life??? I could not start a new relationship with anyone till I got my job situation in order. I couldn't even THINK of him in that regard. When I sensed the he was 'secretly' pretending to be my friend but with an agenda that I'd want more...I felt pressured and betrayed too. We were NOT physical. We were JUST friends. So, your theory is wrong. I wasn't jerking him around. If you accept anything from a man with obvious romantic interests it is never a friendship. You accepted because you liked the idea of easy attention you didn't have to work for but everything comes with a price. 1
Emilia Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Leave the poor guy alone OP, stop f***ing him around. Next time make your mind up BEFORE you dump someone
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