Is It Ever Okay To Break NC?

[PainsChains]

I'm wondering if it's ever okay to break NC. And this is why I ask:

 

My ex left me after 1.5 years because I was emotionally unavailable throughout our relationship (due to a past hurt). I opened up more and more throughout the relationship but I didn't tell her that I loved her and wanted to marry her until it was too late. I truly did overcome the wall I'd put up and I have her to thank for that. Now I know I'm able to love again.

 

My ex left me 4 months ago and began a rebound relationship with the guy she left me for. I went on strict NC. At two months my ex called me at 1 am in the morning and I stupidly picked up. She said she was second-guessing her decision and I foolishly told her I still loved her and wanted things to work out. Then she proceeded to tell me she's moving in with this new guy in another city but that she was really scared. She said he's never hurt her so she could never do that to him. She was really emotional and hung up on me.

 

That was two months ago and the only time I've had contact with my ex in 4 months. Now I've met a woman whom has been through a similar situation. She suggested I write my ex an email and said she'd help me with it. She thinks that in weak moments my ex will look at it. And that it might help her to come back one day.

 

I already know I'm going to regret losing this girl for the rest of my life. We didn't go through a honey moon phase. We had that rare once in a lifetime connection and it was real love. She was truly the one for me but I botched it being extremely guarded. I know it could end up hurting me but I'm already messed up and cry every day anyway so why not at least get some benefit from it. I'm thinking I'll write it and try to move on without expecting a response and maybe one day she'll contact me when their honeymoon phase wears off or even sometime after that.

 

I was pathetic over the phone last time she talked to me. And I think I can leave a better last impression with an email. I'm thinking I'll send this and use the hope as motivation to start putting my life back together. I want to fix my life and start a career so that if she ever does come back I can give her a family which in turn would make me truly happy. If I didnt have hope of her coming back I'd just say **** it and stay a starving artist forever and leave love for those luckier than myself.

 

Does anybody think this is a good reason to break NC?

[hopelessromantic29]

Hey....I say go for it. I'm a hopeless romantic, so why not? You obviously still care for her a lot, and the feelings aren't going to disappear over night. If it's going to make you feel better, do it. Don't live with any regrets and lingering what ifs. Now, BEFORE you do anything, you better prepare yourself for the worse because it might not work. As a woman, I believe that when a woman falls in love with a man, she never stops loving him. There's seriously always a part of her that will care, long, and miss the man. I know this because I am madly still in love with my ex, and if he were to ever come back to me, even if I'm with someone new, I know I will most likely dump the new guy and get back together with my ex. '

 

Some would call me stupid, a doormat, a fool, but honestly, I don't care. I've never known a love like the one I had with him. He made me want to be a better person, he motivated me in life, he made me smile nonstop. So.... get out there and be that Romeo that we all want. But be aware of the problems that existed, and fix it. It's a process, but if you want things to work out, you've gotta face the issues and overcome them. And she if doesn't respond, at least you know you can move on and give someone else the attention and love you can offer. Good luck. I hope I'm not being corny and setting you up for failure. I'll pray that you get your love back.

[Hindsight_is_20_20]

I have to counter hopeless on the continuing to love my exes. I've been in love three times.

 

My high school boyfriend, my ex husband and my now current ex.

 

The only one I am still in love with is my most recent ex. I don't have any feelings at all for the other two anymore. Now, I'm not saying that your ex is in love with this guy, if anything the expression of doubts is a sign that she doesn't.. and it also sounds like she jumped into that new relationship so no wonder she's confused.

 

If I were her I would leave her new relationship, spend time alone and get whole again. This is what happens when people jump ship and think one relationship is going to be so much better than another.

 

Relationships only successfully work when both people are whole.

 

But I don't see what it could hurt at this point if you do send her an email.. I wouldn't expect anything from it but if you truly feel that sending her this email will give you some kind of closure.. then I don't see what harm it could do.

 

It doesn't sound like it ended badly the last time you two talked... could you just call her and leave her a voicemail if she doesn't answer? Sometimes hearing a voice is a more solid reminder..