hurting bad Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 Help! I have been dating a guy for about 2 and a half to 3 months. From the beginning he told me he loved me and wanted to get married etc etc. He took me away a few times, i met his family etc etc. I looked at his phone started noticing that he has been contacting his ex on his cell phone, telling her that he can't stop thinking about her. He had told me he only dated this girl shortly, but i found out it was a 2 year relationship that he just got out and he met me within weeks of that. His friends now tell me that he talks about her all the time to them and that he's not over her. I happened to hear one him one day when he called her and he didn't know i picked up the other phone, (i had to know) and he was saying "I cant move on, my friends tell me theres 100s of beautiful girls out there and i just tell them i cant stop thinking of you. YOu've ruined me for sex, i don't even want to do it with anyone else, and I think of you while im jerki** off." He lied and told her that he and i werent having sex, he told her that he cant, but we have. Why would he be telling me he loved me and wants to get married if he's thinking of her all the time? do you think he wants her back? If he did want her back, why doesn't he just go to her. Am i just a rebound? does 2-3 mths seem to be the time period when all that newness wears off i guess and he realizes he wants her back? maybe i was a test relationship to see if he wanted her or not.
GROBBY Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 To answer your questions Yes, he wants her back Yes, you're just a rebound Yes, he's lying about having had sex with you BECAUSE he wants her back And even though you didn't ask this, Yes, you should let him loose. Sorry. Probably not what you wanted to hear.
hurting so bad Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 but why would he lie and tell me that he was only with her for a little while and that he didnt want her anymore and wasnt attracted to her anymore Why would he lie and say they were only together once and they were never serious when it was a 2 yr relationship? You really think theres no chance for me? Hes not pursuing her anymore, when his ex girlfriend found out about me she disconnected her phone and from what he says, he hasnt contacted her at all since this happened. So you think that means maybe hes done thinknig about her and hes over her? Its been a week and they havent talked at all. do you think he thinks about her even when we're together? comparing us/ grrr..
GROBBY Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 They haven't talked because SHE disconnected the phone. So, not only is he thinking about her, it's probably ALOT. Disconnect YOUR phone and you may have 1/2 a chance of him thinking about YOU. It unfortunate, but true. Again, I'm sorry. If you really want him, make him realize that he wants you. Otherwise, it's just a long road in hell.
hurting so bad Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 Really? so chances are he doesnt want to marry me? we are even supposed to go away on the weekend. why oh why? we keep going away, and going out. I even found out that one night i was with him at a bar and he left for about a few hours and i find out later he was out talking to HER outside. Uh i just dont know why he keeps acting like hes into me and hanging out w/ me all the time!
HoldOn Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 but why would he lie and tell me that he was only with her for a little while and that he didnt want her anymore and wasnt attracted to her anymore Because he wants to have sex with you. Why would he lie and say they were only together once and they were never serious when it was a 2 yr relationship? Because he wants to have sex with you. You really think theres no chance for me? There is no chance of you having a normal, healthy relationship. There is a great chance that you are being used. There is a great chance that you'll be dumped or be the other woman while he pursues his ex. So you think that means maybe hes done thinknig about her and hes over her? No, she had to disconnect her phone to get him to stop calling. Here are some questions for you. Why would you want to be with a guy who lied to you about his last relationship? Why would you want to be with a guy who seriously persued a girl while dating you? Dump him. Disconnect your phone. Find a good man.
hurting so bad Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 I know but i guess i thought maybe he'd come around and that if i made him realize im a good girl he'd want me. But i guess since hes been thinking of her, maybe not. I guess i thought that if i was really great, he'd just forget about her.
HoldOn Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 I'm sorry sweetheart, I hope I don't sound too harsh. I know you are hurting, but I need you to read closely. WHO CARES WHAT HE WANTS? You need to be thinking about what YOU want. You keep asking if he'll take you back. And why he doesn't want you. And what can you do to get him to like you. Why do you want this guy? Why should you want this guy? He has already proven himself to be a liar and a jerk and to be totally still in love with his ex. You ask: Does he want me? You should be asking: Do I want him?
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