Is there a chance?

[Bearod35]

Hello, so i just got out of a relationship of only 4months. Not much i know.But i get attached very very easily. So anyways my ex just got out of a relationship of 2 yrs in September of last year, and her mom is going through cancer. So she is going through a lot right now.

 

So basically problems started arising in the last month of our relationship. She was asking me for space and alone time. And being me of course i said sure, but i did not execute the agreement. Just for the fact i want to constantly be with her.

 

So i was at her place last Saturday and this is before we broke up.And i noticed that day when we were out and about on a walk for Bobba. We were usually very affectionate and sexual towards each other. So anyway i usually love putting my arms around her or holding her hand or kissing her on the cheek. And i noticed that she was kind of shaking me off. And i asked what was wrong, and she said that it was really hot which it was...

 

So then later on that evening i decided to buy a 6 pack of Guinness. And so she had about 2 i had 4. I decided to get another 6pack. She told me that it wasn't a good idea, and said she doesn't want to deal with a drunk... I told her i will be fine. Turns out i got pretty buzzed and that's when my emotions kicked in.

 

So i basically told her straight up how i felt about her. And i told her that sometimes i don't feel that she's not putting in as much in the relationship as i am. Very stupid of me, i know i ****ed up. So she ends up telling me that she doesn't feel the same about me. And the thing is, when i get a response like that or a hint rejection from someone that i really care about. I tend to shut down completely and avoid communication. So of course she got really really angry with me... And then she told me she doesn't see our relationship going anywhere.

 

I left her house that Saturday morning and didn't contact her. She ended up calling me like around around 3pm. I picked up and we talked about the previous evening. And she told me that i am moving too fast for her and that there is a lot of things that we need to work on and to give space to each other. And i agreed on everything she was saying.

 

So anyways later on that evening i ended up telling her that i was done with it. And she said ok fine!

 

And then i rethink it and being clingy and needy as i am. I told her to basically please take me back.

 

I've been really depressed about this whole situation.So i have been drinking very heavily. And we would talk on the phone and stuff and it would turn into another argument.

 

I got pretty hammered last night and i called her up and she picked up. We talked at first everything was great. I still catch myself calling her baby, and i caught her calling me babe a couple of times. So then the whole conversation of me asking her to get back with me came back. I told her that she means a lot to me and i promise i will change. And she said she could only offer me her friendship and that is it. That she doesn't see us getting anywhere. And of course it is very painful to hear that. And i kept bugging her about it. Eventually she got upset and she hanged up on me.

 

So she called me this morning to see if i was ok. I told myself that i'm not gonna drink for a long time, concentrate on myself and to give her her desired space. I'm just confused she still initiates contact with me.

 

Please i know that i ****ed up by being needy. I will do anything to get her back. Please give me advice. Should i stop contacting her. Is it hopeless after the fact that she told me we will never get back together???

 

I love her and it makes me really depressed and upset that i'm being rejected by someone that i really care about.

 

Please what should i do. Walking away is not an option for me.

[biogirl05]

If she wants some space just back off a little. She told you what she needed and you ignored it... . Find other stuff to do to distract yourself and let her come to you when she's ready. You said you would do anything, so do what she asked.

 

There's always a game we needy people play, pretending not to need. I struggle with it alot as well and I know it can drive people away. Right now I'm taking a 6 month hiatus from romance, to focus on myself so that maybe I can discover strength so that I really don't need so much from others instead of just pretending.

Edited July 30, 2012 by biogirl05

[Ruby65]

There's always a game we needy people play, pretending not to need. I struggle with it alot as well and I know it can drive people away. Right now I'm taking a 6 month hiatus from romance, to focus on myself so that maybe I can discover strength so that I really don't need so much from others instead of just pretending.

 

What a wonderful concept! You should post about it.

[steveblack]

I'm going to sound like my dad, but he was right. don't ever get into a conversation about serious things when drinking (especially with an EX). It is a BAAAAAAD idea.