pinkyfairy Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 So this as*hole dumped me one month ago after playing with my feelings for two months for his revenge (because I've met some guy friends from internet when I was traveling in a foreign country,he found it out before I told him,that's also why he broke up with me) He was treating me like s*it in the last month of our relationship and made me suffer in every possible way. I have no problem to go NC,but he texted me like every couple of days to ask how I am..I always struggled when he texted me,and always texted back at the end,but now I am not texting back immediately(until a few days after his message),so he was being funny and said we could cut contact if it is what I want... What I want to know is,why the dumpers always want to stay friends after dumping the others? and why they keep texting and wont let the dumpees stay in peace?
kyle77 Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Often times the dumper....if they at one point cared for you.....will feel guilty about dumping you. They don't necessarily want to get back together but they feel bad for dumping you because lets be honest when you get dumped its like the dumper is taking away all your power....Ive been dumped before and I remember my ex telling me a little while later that she felt terrible in doing it......its really tough to get dumped.....its tough to dump someone too.....
betterdeal Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Because they are human, and text makes it so easy to contact someone. I think the best way to stop them texting you is to either to change your number or to call them every time they text and ask why are they texting after having ended things.
Coffee20 Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 (edited) maybe because they are over the relationship but still miss or feel something to that person, so they try to be in contact, or they feel lonely but the best way to be protected from their contact is to delete them, change everything and not reacting back at all! at least worked for me Edited July 29, 2012 by Coffee20
blue_jay_bird Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 I wish my ex did this, but i guess it makes things harder for you. I just miss him so much.
quankanne Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 usually it's because they don't want to be the "bad guy." In your case, however, I think it's because he's a jerk and this is his passive-aggressive means of punishing you 1
zanzi Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 hes only doing it to be hurtful. dude, I already told you to block his number if you want any peace. This guy is a reall *******, he is playing with you like a cat with a mouse because he can. Remember this behaviour and let any feelings you have for him go because this is the real him he's showing you now. 2
Author pinkyfairy Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 hes only doing it to be hurtful. dude, I already told you to block his number if you want any peace. This guy is a reall *******, he is playing with you like a cat with a mouse because he can. Remember this behaviour and let any feelings you have for him go because this is the real him he's showing you now. Yeah,I've seen it through,I am trying every possible way to escape,but he wont let me in peace,after two months of being treated like sh*t,I think his revenge is already over the limit,and he still cant have it enough,it makes me wanna revenge now,although my friends told me that it is a waste of time especially when he has no more feelings for me.
betterdeal Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Call your phone provider and tell them you are getting nuisance calls and would like to change your number. They'll change it in an hour. Then tell your friends and family your new number et voila! no more texts from him.
Author pinkyfairy Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Call your phone provider and tell them you are getting nuisance calls and would like to change your number. They'll change it in an hour. Then tell your friends and family your new number et voila! no more texts from him. I know...but the point is I want to try to keep contact and see how miserable his life would become,even if it is killing me every time when he texts me
betterdeal Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Then you have decided that's what you want from life. I think you're cutting off your own nose to spite your face, but you have your reasons, I'm sure.
Author pinkyfairy Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Then you have decided that's what you want from life. I think you're cutting off your own nose to spite your face, but you have your reasons, I'm sure. That's how I did with my last ex,we kept contact very often still right after he broke with me,I was heart breaking but I managed to get over him one month after while still talking to him,and he wanted to go back and kept trying for one year,but he was never nasty to me,not like this one. This current ex has done every possible mean thing to me,I did want to cut contact and never had anything to do with him,but he just wouldnt let me in peace and keep hurting me,he is pushing me so much that is forcing me to do something back to revenge!
betterdeal Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I understand the urge to fight back and stand your corner, but at some point you'll ask yourself is it worth it any more? You could be having fun and be happy instead, if you let him "win" this battle. I went through a year of trying to resuscitate a dead relationship, and it was only when I summoned the strength to say "no more" and changed my number that I started to feel better. It also upset her, but I believe it was for the best for both of us.
haribogumsnickers Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 So this as*hole You had it right at the start and that explains best.
Ruby65 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 You had it right at the start and that explains best. Dumpers want to stay in contact because: * they hope they can keep you on the back burner as a Plan B in case they don't meet anyone they like better * it strokes their ego and makes them feel special and loved to be in communication with someone who's hanging on their every word/action and wanting to be with them * they're afraid of being alone and want someone around they can always count on for emotional support Generally dumpers lose interest in having you around once they're secure in their next relationship. The longer you stay in a dumper's life as "just a friend," the less they respect you and the less attraction they feel for you. They will ALWAYS lie about the above.
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