tipsyleprachauns Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 (edited) Today, the declaration from the ex that she is head over heels in love with the new guy she's been dating since Feb. (2 months after we broke up) She gets so excited about spending time with him, thinks about him loads and see's it going somewhere bigtime - and that she's trying to get him to start coming to our church because he's 'sort of technically a christian' I cannot handle this. I cannot handle that. Edited July 29, 2012 by tipsyleprachauns Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 However you found out, you must stop that information feed. Do not go looking for any info on her, cut her completely out of your life and focus solely on YOU. That's a major kick in the nuts and would kill me hearing it, you don't need that crap, it's going to knock you back in your recovery. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 I've already berated that friend for telling me. Surely the replacement in love hurts. But the thing im terrified of the most- if he starts coming to our church. I will lose everything. I won't be able to stand that and I will lose the one thing and the one group of people that has gotten me through all of this. Quite simple put, It will be impossible for me to cope without my church, and it will be impossible for me to sit there if he is. Link to post Share on other sites
kyle77 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 change your frame of mind maybe....Why does it terrify you if he starts coming to your church.....your immediately jumping to the conclusion that she will be there with him and they will look so happy together! Think Positive! For all you know he could come to the church and your ex will wish he was more like you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 Because it's been hard enough sitting in the same church with just her there occasionally. I can cope and block that out, but both of them together, that's end game for me. I'd have to leave the church - the best thing that's ever happened to me would be taken from me. I don't see how she'd end up wishing he was more like me. Given that she replaced me with him in under 2 months. Fell madly in love in 6. And sounds more excited about him that she ever seemed to be about me. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 As painful as it is, Face this! Embrace it. This will help you totally accept that she has moved on and that you aren't going to stop or avoid going to a place that you are comfortable with and need. Don't let her have this much power over you.. She's moved on and is happy. Hoping she'll want you back, hanging onto pain, not moving on yourself is not healthy for you. If you really can't handle seeing her with him, find out if your Church has other services. Maybe there's a later one you can go to, this way you don't have to see either of them. TELL your friends to stop talking to you about your ex. The less you know about her, the better off you'll be. That mutual friend should know better..he/she probably knows you're hurting, so why are they telling you things about her that is going to hurt you? Think about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Coffee20 Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I understand your pain well, it hurts as hell but there is one thing your ex will notice...if you wouldn't come there, she would just think you still feel something for her and you are hurt etc. I would personally go there and act like I don't mind at all (I will have to do it by myself so), so she can see you are happy without her too Link to post Share on other sites
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