NewToAllThis Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Basically, I'll start out by explaining my situation. I'm 22, currently at university with one year left doing a Masters, and working at an internship with a company in Manchester. Around 3-4 months ago I broke up with my only ever long term girlfriend of 2 years. Took me a while to move on from it, but I'm pretty sure I'm past it now, and i've decided that it's time I started putting myself out there and taking a few risks with girls as in the past, any sort of relationship I've ever had has been the result of a friendship becoming something more. The idea of ever asking someone out has always seemed quite alien to me...you see it in sitcoms and films, but I guess I never actually thought that it happened all too often. But the more I think about it now, the more I think whats the worst that can happen, she says no... Anyway, I'll get to the point, there's this spanish girl that I've met through work. She works for another company and comes to see us every few days with contracts that her company are looking to fulfil for their clients. I've only spoken very briefly with her as most of the time she talks business with my boss, and we were never formally introduced (I'm not even sure she knows my name), but she always smiles at me and we have a had a bit of a laugh on a few occasions. Basically I want to ask her out but there are a number of things that are holding me back. First of all is I guess my pure lack of confidence. I'm fine talking to girls in normal situations, but when it comes to someone I 'like', I tend to freeze up a bit, and it just doesn't feel natural. Therefore, I've never actually asked a girl out on a date and the idea just seems very daunting to me. Let alone that should I ask her, it would effectively be in front of my colleagues, which just makes the idea seem ten times worse. I've thought about possibly emailing her as I only have one week left on my internship before I move onto another company and so I don't know if I'm even going to see her again before I leave. But does that sound like a really bad way of doing it? My next worry is that I'm very conscious of the fact that apart from what she does for work, I really don't know anything about her. Does she already have a boyfriend? How old is she (more importantly, how much older than me is she?), she looks like she could be anywhere between 22 and 28, I really have no idea. How will she react when she finds out I'm still at university, and I still live with my parents...could that be an issue? I've spoken to friends about it and they just say lie, don't tell her, but for me, I don't see that as an option, it's just not something I feel comfortable with. So any advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm completely lost at the moment, have absolutely no idea what to do!
jobaba Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 It's funny how when a person in England says Spanish to refer to a person, it's actually proper. Here in the States we say Spanish to refer to anybody of Latino descent. I'd say go for it. You don't see it now (you're too young) but you not knowing anything about her (and thus having no investment) is the PERFECT scenario. First of all... Do not do the 'out of the blue' email/note/Teddy Bear Telegram. Guaranteed failure. Next time she is at the workplace, just take a deep breath, go up and just start talking. Joke around and find out if she lives around there. If you're good enough, this should take only three questions. 1) So, how was your trip in today? 2) Where are you coming from? 3) Oh, you live in _____? I (have something going on/know somebody) near there. Write it down and practice it if you have to. Not that I've ever done that, but I have thought of what to say. It doesn't matter. The results won't hinge on how smooth you are. It'll hinge on other things. Just so long as you are comfortable and confident.
darkmoon Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 "like to come out for coffee sometime?" or "like a pint?" the latter was said to me, my friends reckoned it was a date, yes, they were proved right, just ask her and talk to her on the date to figure her out...
weallfalldown Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 here;s one i tried...and ended up with her for 5 years haha.... I said hi to her in a shop in glastonbury uk.....she said hi back and smiled... i left it at that. Went for a drink down the road.....and on a scrap of paper i wrote...... Hi, i'm james, you are beautiful, you have very sexy eyes. If you fancy a drink sometime give me a ring....and write on your no. Right, then i walked back to the shop and tapped her on the shoulder and said....you have dropped this, then i smiled and laughed at her, then ran off like a little kid hehe. the rest is history,,,,5 years to be exact... So the moral of the story is... Write all that down on 100 bits of paper, then do it to loads of women you find attractive... it's a numbers game, providing you aint butt ugly, your bound to get some reply!!!!!!!!!!!...try it..what have you got to lose????????????? Nothing!!!!!!!!
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