michaeljones Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 You know what the problem with love is: All the selfish, ignorant, cheating, users of this world make it really really hard for people to truly trust others. The amount of women I have known who naturally assume I will mess them around and play with their hearts is such a shame. But I dont blame them because many men seem to. I could never do that **** to anyone, especially a partner. Am I the only man left who talks with his heart and sincerly means all he says? It seems most people on here have good values so maybe not.. I hope not. Perhaps good qualities are a weakness, which makes me a very weak person. I dont know. I wish I believed in god!
murphy pee Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 You are right. We are one of a kind, guys like us. But women only see this when its time to get married.
moimeme Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 Sadly, you're right. People place their trust innocently, get burned, and the lesson they learn is to not trust quite as easily next time around. The more of those situations someone has had, the warier he or she will be.
Curt Posted July 11, 2004 Moderators Posted July 11, 2004 You're all probably right, of course. AND... Then, should a woman get the opportunity to have a relationship with a "real guy," they can't help but be thinking perhaps that he may be a player ... saying all the right things, talking of all the right principles, and treating her just the way she wants to be treated ... all to "get in her pants." She may very well dump him ... who knows, maybe on that suspicion alone? I mean, who wins here??
moimeme Posted July 11, 2004 Posted July 11, 2004 I don't think people ought to give up on people so quickly. All it means is that you should take a good chunk of time to get to know someone before getting too hooked/committed, IMHO. Dishonesty and other undesirable characteristics will eventually emerge, given enough time.
nips5050 Posted July 12, 2004 Posted July 12, 2004 It seems to me that when a woman dates a man who tells her his true heart, and she relays that information to others (as a woman is bound to do) she always hears, 'Girl, he's playing with you....he's trying to get to you...play with your heart' basically getting the woman to question whether he's being sincere or not. I struggle with this as a woman...like the old, "It's not you, it's me" crap....is it crap? or is it sincere? I think that you, as a woman, need to make your own judgment call and stop listening to all those people around you who dont even know this person as well as you do.Trust your gut (and heart).
dudesomewhere Posted July 12, 2004 Posted July 12, 2004 yeah, have you noticed some of these selfish self righteous cheaters? They seem to be proliferating. Gone are the more innocent posts like asking to make relationships better...they almost seem to be fading in contrast. All we are left with is, I'm a player, hoochie, skank...love me. Recently we had a thread comparing good women vs bad women (made by a poster who gets the ire of many , not me thankyou ). In it it was sad to see that good women were viewed majoritively as weak. In essence these same people would see the same in good men. When you look at some of those posters you really do get a sense at the outlook of society...where some of these people think they are the cultured intellectual only to really see it is who they are when they think good people are weak. That amazed me so. Frankly I would wish for a woman to question me, to fear that I may be the player. Then at least I would think she would be interested enough to do so...to put me to the test. Let her see my face and soul still there after the dawn has broke that darkness. and now back to Hoochi-Rama filmed in spectaculer Skanko-Vision!!!
EC Posted July 12, 2004 Posted July 12, 2004 It's true...It's very sad that now girls feel as if they can't trust anyone. Most guys are liars, cheaters, players, w/e and it really sux. But then again I have my theory which some may not agree with or not like but I don't care. I've been through so much already that I have realized yeah there's players and cheaters and all that and I've been lied to, and cheated on and everything in the book, But my theory is I just feel that It's only because the guy hasn't met the "right" girl. Once any guy meets the right girl I think something just clicks and they change. They are suddenly not the players and cheaters they once were. It just sux finding out your not the right girl for them. So when I'm lied to, or cheated on or w/e and it doesnt work out i'm just like Ok next he wasn't for me. But I'm not your normal girl so to all the good guys out there I'm sorry you have to deal with all the drama. Wish it wasn't that way and life was all fairytales and cupcakes. But it's not so oh well.
nips5050 Posted July 12, 2004 Posted July 12, 2004 I agree with you whole-heartedly!! The right person can draw the best out of another person...the problem arises when that other person isn't ready to have that drawn out of them. Which is unfortunate. I experienced this. We were amazing together....being around each other made us want to be better people. but he wasnt ready for that because he wasn't used to it. He freaked out. He was too concerned with organizing the drama in his life that he put me on hold. My response to him? "Why hold onto the bad when you've got the good right in front of you?"....hmmm. Why wouldn't you want that?? Seems warped to me.
faux Posted July 12, 2004 Posted July 12, 2004 Originally posted by michaeljones You know what the problem with love is: All the selfish, ignorant, cheating, users of this world make it really really hard for people to truly trust others. The amount of women I have known who naturally assume I will mess them around and play with their hearts is such a shame. But I dont blame them because many men seem to. I could never do that **** to anyone, especially a partner. Same here. Unfortunately, I have a knack for meeting women who do the cheating, lying, heart-ripping and back-stabbing. I get the masters of the mind-games, the twisters of feeling, and all of the deceitful demons. It is amazing that I even try to trust after all of the horrible women I have met so far in my young life. Am I the only man left who talks with his heart and sincerly means all he says? It seems most people on here have good values so maybe not.. I hope not. There are good people, men and women, remaining on this planet. One must understand, however, that all humans are inherently evil. It is a matter of how we choose to conduct ourselves that determines whether we are good or bad. Fewer people seem to want to take the more difficult path of being honest. Perhaps good qualities are a weakness, which makes me a very weak person. I dont know. I wish I believed in god! The weak allow themselves to be taken advantage of. Do not allow people to take advantage of you. Your trust is something that must be earned. Your respect as well. No free hand-outs. If you do not believe in god, then believe in something more tangible and meaningful to you. Believe in yourself. Believe in anything. Belief or faith in a god is not necessary to a successful and worthy living. Humans have the right to believe in whatever they choose, or to believe in nothing at all.
EC Posted July 12, 2004 Posted July 12, 2004 Because it's very scary when you do find that person. So many things run through your head that your just like could it be? Is this really happening to me? and then you wanna run away because your scared the other person that loves you so much and is your world will notice your noth the perfect person they think you are and that you will somehow f*** it up somehow so you freak out. lol Sorry got a lil emotional cuz it happened to me.
msrealdoll Posted July 12, 2004 Posted July 12, 2004 I know so many women that have the opinion that men are dogs, can't be trusted, etc. They've been hurt too many times, and they get cynical because of it. They begin to accept that type of behavior in men, like it's just how they are. So they wind up in bad relationships. As a woman, I've found that just as many men have the same sort of feelings arising from the same bad relationships. I've met a lot of really great guys that would be wonderful partners! But they can't let go and trust. A lot of people-men and women-adopt that attitude of 'screw before you're screwed'. I really believe the adage 'it takes two to tango'. I believe that if you find yourself in a relationship where you're getting screwed over, you should look inside yourself for reason that things went badly. Were there red flags you ignored? Did you jump in too quickly? Did you ignore your intuition? I'm not saying that I think we are the cause of people screwing us over. I just think that by looking inward, you learn more about yourself and ways to protect yourself. You can't change other people's behavior, but you can change yours and your reaction to theirs.
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