sam2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 I just can't handle it. Thinking of her with someone else. I can't occupy myself with anything while these thoughts of her with the other guy have just paralyzed me. I'm just sat dreading that this date will lead to something more significant for her. I know she's moving on, and I'm being selfish and that she deserves her own happiness etc. Just flaws me.
weallfalldown Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Hi....Look, i'm not being funny, but how do you know she;s on a date?????????????????????????.............your obviously talking to her?....so do you only have yourself to blame?....think about it!..
Author sam2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Author Posted July 29, 2012 Hi....Look, i'm not being funny, but how do you know she;s on a date?????????????????????????.............your obviously talking to her?....so do you only have yourself to blame?....think about it!.. I know! and I can't bring myself to cut off talking to her. She was my best friend before and pretty much my only friend... I'm clinging onto breadcrumbs.
weallfalldown Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 look dude, it is hard...soooooooo fookin hard, to break contact, but it's the only way....THE ONLY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!.......
cheekysmiles Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 (edited) listen to weallfalldown. it's been about 1 month NC for me, same amount of time post BU. she initiated it right away, i failed a few times with no response. 5 days ago i took the initiative to block out social media completely to focus on self improvement in all aspects. last night i broke and i guess it means breaking NC as well but i reactivated my accounts to check up on her and how she was doing through updates long story short: BAD IDEA. what a low i've hit today and last night.. good god... >:[ edit: the irony of this is she went to a sort of fetish/strip/burlesque party last night. while we were together it would've meant nothing to me as i respected her freedom to enjoy the things she likes but now i can't help but think of her hooking up with someone there Edited July 29, 2012 by cheekysmiles
weallfalldown Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Exactly.........let sleeping dogs lie!!!!!!! Put it this way......understand how low and shyt she has made you feel right! How dare you let someone drag you down to that level!!!! get fighting!!! For your own sanity!!!............**** them!
cheekysmiles Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 oh i've been fighting and staying strong ever since i came to LS 11 days ago. just one of those days that makes you think again, "wtf happened?" what i really wanna know is, why us as dumpees still view them as our best friend+gf and having lost them, how can they make it look so easy to walk away as if neither were true?
weallfalldown Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 what your doing is putting them on a pedestall.......we all do it, and i have dumped women too, so i know i prob deserve it as they say. **** it mate, it didn't work.....so what, it hurts, but it will go.........i know what your goin through....and i get quite angry sometimes knowing this crap in my head will go, but i want it to now!....only time will tell. My situation was a mutual thing, but in the end i had trouble really letting go. it;s usually the woman that has to force it through, sometimes for both your sakes, which i kind of admire!..x
cheekysmiles Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 what your doing is putting them on a pedestall.......we all do it, and i have dumped women too, so i know i prob deserve it as they say. **** it mate, it didn't work.....so what, it hurts, but it will go.........i know what your goin through....and i get quite angry sometimes knowing this crap in my head will go, but i want it to now!....only time will tell. My situation was a mutual thing, but in the end i had trouble really letting go. it;s usually the woman that has to force it through, sometimes for both your sakes, which i kind of admire!..x you're absolutely right about the pedestal. just can't help it with any relationship the last line of your post though, great words my friend. excellent perspective and definitely picked up my day. cheers!
Author sam2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Author Posted July 29, 2012 There are so many things I could do to improve myself. I know this. From reading self help books, to learning new skills etc. But she's out there with new guys. and that's it. My head is gone I can't do a thing. I know it's stupid, I know I shouldn't let it bring me down as Weallfalldown says, but it does and it's as if nothing can stop me spiraling lower and lower thinking about her. The desire to think about her and the new guy easily beats the desire to do anything else. As bad as that is.
barese1 Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Mate this is understandable, the though of the ex with someone else is probably the most horrible thing after a break up and its this that makes me maintain no contact. Someone suggested that she was probably at that point that shes seeing someone else now, that alone made me feel ****. You must go NC and then you won't know, its the only way.
weallfalldown Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 the thought of another bloke shooting his *** in my ex, makes me feel like crap yea!......but what about her thinking of me sucking on some new titties, and shooting my beans up her...haha sorry, very crude but true!!!!!!!!!! 1
Mcnulty Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Ignorance is bliss. What you DONT know can't hurt you. NC for 9 months for me, yet I see her car opposite my friends place, I've told my friend to not tell me ever, if her car's there or if she sees my ex with the guy across the road...self preservation is very important if you want to heal. 1
weallfalldown Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Ignorance is bliss. What you DONT know can't hurt you. NC for 9 months for me, yet I see her car opposite my friends place, I've told my friend to not tell me ever, if her car's there or if she sees my ex with the guy across the road...self preservation is very important if you want to heal. so true so true!!!
kyle77 Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 you have to go no contact....save some of your reputation with her now while you still can.....trust me every time you break no contact it will just mess with your head. Down the road you'll think back on the times you broke no contact and cringe at how you reacted or what you said.....Just break all contact and close all social media accounts with her cause believe me social media is enemy number 1 when it comes to getting over someone! People these days make profiles of themselves online and it makes them seem so cool, and so funny....in reality their lives are never as good as they seem to appear online.
weallfalldown Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 you have to go no contact....save some of your reputation with her now while you still can.....trust me every time you break no contact it will just mess with your head. Down the road you'll think back on the times you broke no contact and cringe at how you reacted or what you said.....Just break all contact and close all social media accounts with her cause believe me social media is enemy number 1 when it comes to getting over someone! People these days make profiles of themselves online and it makes them seem so cool, and so funny....in reality their lives are never as good as they seem to appear online. exactly....too much communication these days...just delete your fb acc..and don't reactivate it.....i haven't been on fb in 4 years....what do we really need it for????......just more consumerism...led to believe we all need it....bull****!...
sendme Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 First of all I totally agree with weallfalldown... Facebook is a time sucker... and it destroys us... it leads us to compare our messy insides with everyone else's perfect and amazing and fun Facebook outsides --- never feels good and it leads to too much information being to accessible... you shouldn't have looked but of course you did, why because you could... because a part of you was hoping she'd post a status update about being sad or lonely and you would have reason to re-initiate contact... someone asked on here earlier why the dumped person always says that their ex was their best friend, and yet the ex just walks away like its nothing... I think there are a few things going on there, one is that you are genuinely grieving the relationship... a period of grief for things lost is good... the other is that your ex may look like she's moving right along, but there is always a period of transition. Even if you really wanted out of your relationship there is always a timeline where you wonder how the other person is... what you're doing is comparing what you know to be true of your own emotions with what her actions are showing... but we all wear masks, and we put on especially effective masks when we feel weak or vulnerable... and we live in a society (that I think incorrectly) encourages people to rush from one relationship to the next... so that's what she's doing... you didn't find the right one now, so hurry up and put yourself back out there, and drag all your drama and baggage with you... uuuccckkk!!
todreaminblue Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 I just can't handle it. Thinking of her with someone else. I can't occupy myself with anything while these thoughts of her with the other guy have just paralyzed me. I'm just sat dreading that this date will lead to something more significant for her. I know she's moving on, and I'm being selfish and that she deserves her own happiness etc. Just flaws me. If you can feel dread and feel the paralysis all is cool..... you will recover its natural to feel these things.....that person was intimate with you, knows your body your heart your soul what turns you on off and drives you crazy if she was a loving girlfriend you are thinking of her mouth on another mans body and her mouth all over that mans body where she used to put her mouth all over you.her sighs her moans her smiles..yes you are feeling your heartbeat speed up now reading what i am writing that sick feeling in your stomach....the pain....why you wouldnt feel the way you are.....you are meant to....i meant to make you feel right at this moment to prove a point...every singel person on this planet will feel exactly the same one time or another..YOU CAN HEAL AND DO IT AGAIN.....as everyone else will forget the girlfriend and she is so not right for you and its cruel and unusual punishment to feel your heart breaking over and over again.......everybody in their lifetime feels what you are feeling and most people move on when they realise they want to feel someones mouth on their body on their mouth their hip their lips all the parts that tingle ....someone else is waiting for you to make them feel the same way....recover then go get that person some day.....i am lost to having that....... because i am numb when i think of him with her........my chance is over i left it too long..don't feel sorry for me i made my choice.....yours you have that chance of beauty and hammering heart again....times ticking.....it moves forward faster than the clock shows........you dont see the time.....dont waste yours before its gone....let her go....there is one for you you know..dont make me feel sorry for you like i am for myself...huge hug.....debxo
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