cms2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 As a wife/mother I stupidly and selfishly moved out of our home, thinking that if we where able to step away and heal we could find our way back. But I have devastatingly learned different. Right now, we're nearing the end our 'M', though part of me is still hopeful (dumb I know), we're moving forward with meeting our lawyers and talking about me being in the home with my son, etc. I stated last night that I would be moving back and have awakened to emails and texts from H about how selfish this move is as well. I can't win. I thought of doing this early in the month, and did stop myself from doing it because of my son, as I was feeling it was a more strategic move with some of the stuff he was saying to me. But after confirmation from my lawyer that that wasn't the case, I eased off it. But now...if my H is telling me 'straight to my face' he's done. Then, this move for me now is simply economics. That it means we need to stop this 'act' (as it's now become) and to have that talk with our son, and be done. His counter is now he'll move out and how he will no longer have to provide me any support...and if I can't see the error in my ways, that I should go talk to someone professional...on and on....? Ok, once again I"m FLOORED....so hit me, open my eyes to what I can't read into as I've come to find that I am inherently selfish amongst other things that make it hard for me to comprehend....
tojaz Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 CMS, like your other thread, you really don't give much information for us to go on. TOJAZ
Author cms2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Author Posted July 29, 2012 Please tell me, what else do you need to know? I really don't know what else to tell?
trippi1432 Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 (edited) CMS - You stated in another thread that you felt emotionally neglected.....perhaps starting there and why would be beneficial? In your other thread, I stated that people do leave for reasons other than an affair or for looking for another partner. Sometimes remaining in the marital home, especially with a small child, where there is constant animosity is an unhealthy environment for a child. I stayed in a 15 year relationship with two children that was unhealthy and both of my children have lost respect for me due to that. My daughter from my first marriage states that she understands the reasons for her younger brother; however, it does not help her issues to this date of the abuse she had to go through. Varying degrees of a dysfunctional home can lead many people to leave a situation for themselves, their children or in severe cases, the ability to find some peace and solitude when they are with someone who does not see anything that they are doing to another person as being something wrong. Edited July 29, 2012 by trippi1432 Adding to the discussion
tojaz Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 (edited) Please tell me, what else do you need to know? I really don't know what else to tell? What went wrong, how did the marriage break down. What prompted you to leave in detail. What are your goals for going back. What is your H's state of mind on the D. If you are trying to save the M, what have you tried so far and what were the results? Any outside factors relating to your decisions? Was your H's affair a fling or has it become a relationship? From your other thread.. I think the first question that you have to ask yourself is, now that it has happened and cannot be undone. Can you, and are you willing to forgive the affair if the opportunity were to arise? Most of the other questions coming your way will hinge off of that. "Maybe" "I can try" and "Yes if...." are all valid answers. TOJAZ Its awkward to lay out such heavy thoughts and feeling on a forum like this, but most people here will tell you that the details can make all the difference in the world, and far too often they are not shared, or shared too late for anyone to be able to help. Sit down, write us a book. There are plenty here willing to read it. TOJAZ Edited July 29, 2012 by tojaz
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