Contrecoeur Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I'm trying online dating for the first time, after a mess of unsuccessful relationships found through real life. I chose Okcupid becasuse I heard it's the best free site. The one things I'm curious about is the little statuses that show up by people's names in search - "hasn't been messaged this week", "replies often", "replies selectively", etc. This makes me feel like it's a virtue to be selective with whom you respond, so I don't even want to open half the messages I get, with the hear I'll have a green light beside my name that says "calling all dirtbags - she's desperate, she'll respond to anything!" Why would they add this feature?
brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 the response rate is whether or not you respond with a message, not whether or not you read the message in the first place
writergal Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 OKCupid is hit or miss just like the other OLD websites, despite the fact that it's free. Even if you sent out 10 emails to ten profiles of different men whose statuses say "online now" or "hasn't been messaged in a week", that doesn't guarantee that they will even respond.
todreaminblue Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I'm trying online dating for the first time, after a mess of unsuccessful relationships found through real life. I chose Okcupid becasuse I heard it's the best free site. The one things I'm curious about is the little statuses that show up by people's names in search - "hasn't been messaged this week", "replies often", "replies selectively", etc. This makes me feel like it's a virtue to be selective with whom you respond, so I don't even want to open half the messages I get, with the hear I'll have a green light beside my name that says "calling all dirtbags - she's desperate, she'll respond to anything!" Why would they add this feature? I have a problem with dating at the moment....but I can tell you thatif asite hs that feature it is chum in the water for sharks....i wouldn't use it....especially if you have kids.....free sites are for desperation and people who are already down adn out low income earners....dotn take the bait...save up join a more reputable site...it is unpaid prostitution adn tehre are guys and gals who can escort you out of dollars and happiness...protect yourself and your family....prostitution should be between consenting adults who accept the agreement of sexual gratification for money or physical pleasure..and ofr spiritual reasons dont whore yoruself when you dont know that is what it is.......save up go e harmony better matches more possibility of meeting someone good hearted, the profiles are more in depth and in tune with your needs desires and wishes for the future, pay for the best membership....dont degrade who you are because of finances or low self esteem....i hav e reasearched this and i have been fraudulent in nature to do so.....i needed to know so i could share it with my sister who is seeking a man...i would neve rwant to see her hurt ....so i lied and created profiles to research this.... to find the truth...its called an inconvenient truth.but it is truth..i am honest here with you..and can tell you i did not hurt anyone in the process of what I did.....discard my advice if you wish.....i do have your best interest at heart......good luck...hugses to ya.....deb
brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 OKCupid is hit or miss just like the other OLD websites, despite the fact that it's free. Even if you sent out 10 emails to ten profiles of different men whose statuses say "online now" or "hasn't been messaged in a week", that doesn't guarantee that they will even respond. Women message men on dating sites? Srsly? I thought they all just sit back and select from the 10,000 guys bombarding their profiles
SmileFace Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I have a problem with dating at the moment....but I can tell you thatif asite hs that feature it is chum in the water for sharks....i wouldn't use it....especially if you have kids.....free sites are for desperation and people who are already down adn out low income earners....dotn take the bait...save up join a more reputable site...it is unpaid prostitution adn tehre are guys and gals who can escort you out of dollars and happiness...protect yourself and your family....prostitution should be between consenting adults who accept the agreement of sexual gratification for money or physical pleasure..and ofr spiritual reasons dont whore yoruself when you dont know that is what it is.......save up go e harmony better matches more possibility of meeting someone good hearted, the profiles are more in depth and in tune with your needs desires and wishes for the future, pay for the best membership....dont degrade who you are because of finances or low self esteem....i hav e reasearched this and i have been fraudulent in nature to do so.....i needed to know so i could share it with my sister who is seeking a man...i would neve rwant to see her hurt ....so i lied and created profiles to research this.... to find the truth...its called an inconvenient truth.but it is truth..i am honest here with you..and can tell you i did not hurt anyone in the process of what I did.....discard my advice if you wish.....i do have your best interest at heart......good luck...hugses to ya.....deb Haha I laughed my ****ing ass off at this. You must be kitten me! Ha!
brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 It doesn't work. .true story Not really true. Online dating definitely works for women. They can just sit back and pick from who they like the most. It doesn't work for men unless you can do the dancing clown routine or be okay with dating women well below your league Men are absolutely worthless on online dating sites. Worst creation in history of dating
SmileFace Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Not really true. Online dating definitely works for women. They can just sit back and pick from who they like the most. It doesn't work for men unless you can do the dancing clown routine or be okay with dating women well below your league Men are absolutely worthless on online dating sites. Worst creation in history of dating It was an obvious joke. ... And if it works for women - it has to work for the men they are dating. Now think about it
writergal Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Women message men on dating sites? Srsly? I thought they all just sit back and select from the 10,000 guys bombarding their profiles Yes, women do message men. If women "sat back" and did nothing, they would never get a date. Not really true. Online dating definitely works for women. They can just sit back and pick from who they like the most. It doesn't work for men unless you can do the dancing clown routine or be okay with dating women well below your league I will say it again - OLD is a numbers game, there's no way to know if it will produce dates or a relationship for anyone who participates. What you put out, you definitely don't get back when it comes to OLD. If your attitude is to sit back and do nothing, then why are you doing OLD? OLD is useless for men (and women) who don't make an effort. If you want to get a date from a woman from OLD, then you need to search through matches, select a few you like, send them emails, and wait to see if they respond to you. That's how it works. Otherwise...there's always the bar scene...
brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 If women "sat back" and did nothing, they would never get a date. Huh? Women here talk about getting a 100+ messages in a matter of a a few days of signing up I will say it again - OLD is a numbers game AKA as a man you need to understand that you might have to message a 100 women to get a single date Worst creation in the history of mankind. I've never felt so worthless as I felt on online dating sites. 15-20 messages sent, 2 or 3 early responses that ended up being worthless and then literally nothing after that Unbelievable. I deleted my account after one day in extreme frustration. Hell, I've never been that frustrated in my entire life
todreaminblue Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Yes, women do message men. If women "sat back" and did nothing, they would never get a date. I will say it again - OLD is a numbers game, there's no way to know if it will produce dates or a relationship for anyone who participates. What you put out, you definitely don't get back when it comes to OLD. If your attitude is to sit back and do nothing, then why are you doing OLD? OLD is useless for men (and women) who don't make an effort. If you want to get a date from a woman from OLD, then you need to search through matches, select a few you like, send them emails, and wait to see if they respond to you. That's how it works. Otherwise...there's always the bar scene... wriiiiiitergal....skids in....oops sorry....lol....i founda match standing on the door of a bar called the bottoms up(gay bar).....he scared the living crap out of me.....we went by the bar while hewas on the door in a bsu that contained charity workers and volunteers....its a special looking bus that disabled people use its identifiable.....this ex of mine hollered out windowwww lickerssssss there was how he dare he outraged whispers from inside the bus......i stuck my head out the window and yelled back sterrrrrrroid user have small penises....he laughed his head off....big trouble for deb...im supposed to eb an example to the conmmunity ...i thought i was being just that......anyway...moral of the story..... i changed his mind about calling out windowlickers and he fell in love with me made him wait two years in the friend zone for that mistake.....justice....lol.....your comment that you made is so true....you have to take that chance......or you dont its a choice you have to make.......deb
writergal Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Huh? Women here talk about getting a 100+ messages in a matter of a a few days of signing up I don't know who posted those numbers, but that can't be true. No one I know whose done OLD has ever received that amount of emails from men. AKA as a man you need to understand that you might have to message a 100 women to get a single date Yes. I told you, OLD is a numbers game. Not every woman you email will respond. But that's how dating works both online and in real life. You just have to psyche yourself up to ask a woman out. If you do nothing, you get nothing. Worst creation in the history of mankind. I've never felt so worthless as I felt on online dating sites. 15-20 messages sent, 2 or 3 early responses that ended up being worthless and then literally nothing after that OLD? I half-agree with you as people are social creatures who aren't meant to socialize strictly through online means. It's just not natural. After all, Mother Nature wins out when you eventually meet, because physical and emotional chemistry between two people cannot be "experienced" online. Unbelievable. I deleted my account after one day in extreme frustration. Hell, I've never been that frustrated in my entire life Good for you. I think you would benefit from dating in person and OLD really is a waste of time in my opinion, having tried it several times with no luck except meeting men who weren't a good match for me. If you see a pretty woman, you have nothing to lose (except the opportunity) by asking her out. If you don't make the effort to ask women out, you'll never date. And I don't think it's helpful for you to compare your dating stats to your friends' because they aren't you. You are a unique person who has his own set of interests to offer women. The more practice you get asking women out, the better you'll feel (even when they say no). Make this your mantra, "don't take 'no' personally" when you ask women out.
brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 yea it's just very frustrating. I'm glad I turned off my account No offense to you writergal. I wasn't angry or irritated with you at all. Your advice has been great
Author Contrecoeur Posted July 28, 2012 Author Posted July 28, 2012 free sites are for desperation and people who are already down adn out low income earners....dotn take the bait...save up join a more reputable site...it is unpaid prostitution adn tehre are guys and gals who can escort you out of dollars and happiness... I didn't understand most of your post, but just parsing this one section - how is joining a free site desperation? If anything, paying to join a dating site seem pretty desperate (hence why I didn't). It's not a question of money, and I find it kind of weird and vaguely insulting you'd insinuate I should have to "save up" to afford a paid site. I was a little overwhelmed with the amount of messages I got at first, but it seems there are at least one of two quality men on there - and despite todreaminblue's generalizations, number of high income earners, an MA and a PhD. But of course it's the internet, so who knows how honest they are?
Miaow Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 I am an attractive, successful woman with a good income and I met my current, amazing, bf on OkCupid. I went out on four or five dates with nice guys that I wasn't really attracted to and then the one guy I actually messaged (in two years of intermittently being on the site) ended up being the one I really liked! We've been together for awhile now and we're blissfully happy! Hang in there, kiss a few frogs (or just have lunch!) and eventually you'll meet a prince -Laura
Bob_Funk Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 If you're male, send hundreds of messages to maybe receive one legit reply. Get rejected on the first or second date. Start back at square one. If you're female, receive hundreds of messages and only accept a date from 1% of them at most. Reject the guy on the first or second date. Start back at square one.
Author Contrecoeur Posted July 29, 2012 Author Posted July 29, 2012 If you're male, send hundreds of messages to maybe receive one legit reply. Get rejected on the first or second date. Start back at square one. If you're female, receive hundreds of messages and only accept a date from 1% of them at most. Reject the guy on the first or second date. Start back at square one. Unfortunately, that's generally the way it works for women offline, in other facets of dating, as well - I know I've never heard of a club or bar offering a promotion for free cover/drinks for men. But that's also not the topic of this thread. I was asking about the intricacies of the actual system Okcupid uses, and what people think when they see the different response rates of other people - are you more inclined to message somebody if they're green/replies often, and therefore, can you expect a higher number of lower quality men?
haribogumsnickers Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Delete your Okcupid now. Didn't work for me but you can give it a try...month or two tops. It works only for people who have no souls...so gingers.
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