Gotti25 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I'm posting here once again! I've been so fed up with husband lately he ignores me completely is going to our 3 year wedding anniversary in september and my bday is coming up in 2 weeks! today he got home from work I asked him so you know my bday is coming up his like yeah I know im like so I hope you have a nice day planned out for me his like quiet and tells me nothing extreme this year on your bday butttttt every friday night he is all out and about with the boys until 5AM going to fancy places partying we have no kids! So my bday is not important to him? I know he works very hard sometimes 18 hours a day he is very successful and his job is his world! He spends the weekends with me but sleeps most of the day trying to recover from the night before with his buddys plus he has them sleep over at our small apartment every weekend and I feel so uncofortable in my own home even tough I know these guys for 2 years and they call me there sis and they tell me they love me! but still I'm fed up tonight he left in a rush to go meet up with his buddies he was bitching at me because I didnt iron his shirt I said you didnt tell me advance that you where going to wear that one! Keep in mind that when he goes out with me on the weekends he doesn't care about what shirt he wears or his appearance but when is time with the boys he's got to dress up like a woman totally pisses me off!We got into a fight before he left and he hasnt even sent me a text to apologize is super irritating! I'm 26 and he is 31. The worst thing is his brother got married to a Ukrainian woman that he only knows for 4 months in Ukraine and posted wedding pictures of them together! we dont have wedding pictures because it was a quick wedding do to visa situation! So I suggested to him when we go to europe next year I want to renew our vows in Italy and hirena good photographer with a small ceremony he responds nothing I didnt ask about it again but sure pisses me off im so mad what should I do?
2sure Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I'm guessing this was his visa situation? And the dry cleaner charges a dollar fifty to iron a shirt...Why are you ironing his shirts? And yes, people flopping in your house is out of the question. You are in NYC, cabs 24/7 ...? And...why are you home?
2sunny Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 IF you are SO fed up - YOU have the power to divorce him! No husband wants to hear his wife complaining and making demands. If you want something special for your bday - simply tell him exactly what that is - he's not a mind reader! IF you stay - do counseling ASAP! You two may just not be a good match. 1
Woggle Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Why don't you just end this marriage already. You cheat on him and he acts like he can care less about you. What good is there in this? I don't know if he knows about the cheating but if he does I can understand why he acts the way he does. 2
Author Gotti25 Posted July 28, 2012 Author Posted July 28, 2012 your right I dont have friends here only guy friends my H doesnt allow me to hang out with them anymore! No im not leaving him we have a trip to Istanbul in december planned we are not getting a divorce trying to work things! Thats funny op if it was so cheap like your saying I would have taken it to the dry cleaners lol is nyc after all! my husband sent me a text message tonight after that argument he saidI love you baby I hate fighting. Is like he knows I was waiting for his apology sighs confusing......
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I'm not sure how to help you with this as there are other issues going on too. Is it possible he knows and now feels like he can treat you anyway he pleases? You two have many issues and there's a big blue elephant in the room that neither of you are talking about it. Until that issue is resolved and out in the open the passiveness of how he is towards you and you reacting to him all the meanwhile you are hurting because of your exOM, he knows something is off too. hope that made sense!
2sunny Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 From your prior threads - it's evident that you enjoy cheating. He may just not care much anymore. A trip? You stay for a trip? You certainly don't SHOW LOVING BEHAVIOR... There's no reason to think he needs to participate in this sham of a relationship you call marriage. You are hurtful to him - he's hurtful back to you.i guess you're evenly matched in that hurtful place. Seems terribly disasterous! You're intent to stay. Why are you posting? 2
Author Gotti25 Posted July 28, 2012 Author Posted July 28, 2012 2sunny I appreciate your comments but your no where near my age so you would not understand! So I decided to go out alone since my best friend is in europe on vacay preggers with her husband it was very boring I got hit on by some guys decided to leave! H got home at 6am with his friends woke me up I told him I went out he went insane gave me the nasty look but would not say anything because his friends are staying over! I am freaking out might get nasty once his friends leaves! fyi my H is a controlling freak if things are not met by his expectations he goes insane and can get very angry!
Radu Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 2sunny I appreciate your comments but your no where near my age so you would not understand! So I decided to go out alone since my best friend is in europe on vacay preggers with her husband it was very boring I got hit on by some guys decided to leave! H got home at 6am with his friends woke me up I told him I went out he went insane gave me the nasty look but would not say anything because his friends are staying over! I am freaking out might get nasty once his friends leaves! fyi my H is a controlling freak if things are not met by his expectations he goes insane and can get very angry! Why, is there something special about your age ? Are you from the south of Italy or the north of Italy ?
2sunny Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Why, is there something special about your age ? Are you from the south of Italy or the north of Italy ? I was thinking she is Asian. If nothing else she is a drama queen. This really doesnt look like a marriage. You're both VERY inappropriate and hurtful to each other. You are in for a very long life of suffering. 1
Author Gotti25 Posted July 28, 2012 Author Posted July 28, 2012 yes I did but the affair was a year ago! No im not Asian! from south Italy radu. Why not have a nice day planned every one deserves to feel special. I'm sorry 2sunny didn't mean to offend! You give some pretty good advice on here.
2sunny Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 It's always our expectations that let us down, ya know? Maybe he expected a wife who wouldn't cheat on him. Maybe now he's mad and doesn't want to make any effort for you because you disrespected and disregarded him so much. Maybe now he's thinking he owes you nothing since you haven't acted like his wife in the past. either way - he acts like the M is over - so if it were me - I'd expect nothing - so I wouldn't be disappointed. Go out and do what YOU wish for the day when your birthday comes - then you won't be disappointed.
whichwayisup Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 yes I did but the affair was a year ago! No im not Asian! from south Italy radu. Why not have a nice day planned every one deserves to feel special. I'm sorry 2sunny didn't mean to offend! You give some pretty good advice on here. Gotti, the thing is, your A ended a year ago but your exOM is close to your heart and you still talk about him, miss him so much, like it just happened yesterday.. Your H could feel the detachment from you and may feel like your mind is elsewhere half the time. He may not know what is going on but his gut probably is telling him something is off.. Just something to think about.
BetrayedH Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 A year ago is nothing for a BS. Get ready for 4 years.
Woggle Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Im not sure what you mean BetrayedH? What he means is that it will take much much longer than one year for him to get over your affair. For some people betrayal is something a person can never get over.
Author Gotti25 Posted July 29, 2012 Author Posted July 29, 2012 noo he doesn't why would I even say anything! he called me a slut tonight I was pissed off then he gave me a hug and kiss
whichwayisup Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 noo he doesn't why would I even say anything! he called me a slut tonight I was pissed off then he gave me a hug and kiss He knows you..And this means he knows something is up. He is letting you know in his own way and maybe him doing this IS your opportunity to come clean about how you are feeling inside. If your marriage is to work properly, there has to be complete honesty! Even if that means dealing with the fallout of telling him. At least the truth would be out there and not hidden.
2sunny Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 There's no M because there's no honesty - only lies and betrayal from both sides. You get what you give - that's why this M is so unhealthy. You can't have a healthy M when you lie so much.
Author Gotti25 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 I'm giving 100% to my husband! You guys gave me the best advice! I will work trough this marriage
veggirl Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 So what precisely, PRECISELY, are you two doing to "work on your marriage"? You should check out marriage builders. It's a website, there are books written by the couple that you should read, if you are serious about this.
Author Gotti25 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 Update things have been really good between me & H we are getting along his work has been very stressful but he has been giving lots of affection! we are planning on renewing our vows next summer in Italy he assured me He really wants to go trough with it! so far so good
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