darkmoon Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 (edited) once sweet and supportive, now too quick to tease, my clothes, my freckly arms, my wrinkles, i haven't asked her opinion she just blurts this stuff out, we chat, we talk on the phone, we watch TV and hang out, we drink tea, but my weaknesses are becoming her idea of a joke i know i must phase her out to feel happy again, just now when on the phone she joked about my trousers, she said i buy new instead of washing the ones i own, i said "are you teasing me, it's not very nice" and she laughed, i said to stop cuz it's not very nice she went quiet and i hung up i'm visting her tomorrow (as we agreed before this last straw of her teasing) acting polite and happy, but then just get busy and not taking calls, i work from home so my being more distant is not hard to do, i pay for her cuz she's in debt, so i have been ok to her and i never tease her i've known her twelve years, just these past three weeks/month of teasing at my expense, since i said i'd be looking for a boyf, i feel so full of flaws thanks to her opinions?? Edited July 27, 2012 by darkmoon
whichwayisup Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 She's jealous. She doesn't want you to get a boyfriend because then your time with her is going to be less. She's being mean and nit picky. That's so not nice and it's making you feel bad/self concious. Tell her how it makes you feel when she picks at you. She's supposed to be a friend, and friends aren't supposed to make you feel bad. or just detach and distance yourself from her.
Author darkmoon Posted July 28, 2012 Author Posted July 28, 2012 the detachment is happening all by itself; i have insomnia thanx to her so wil have to cancel tomorrow
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I know it's easier said than done, but really try not to let her bitchyness and mean comments affect you so deeply. Take a step back and look at this from angle...and this isn't defending her at all - She IS doing this on purpose because she feels bad about herself so to make herself feel better she is dumping on you and liking your reaction. it puffs up her ego. So stupid and immature but she's afraid of losing your friendship to a guy..Or spending less time with you. What she doesn't realize is, her behaviour now is what is ending the friendship, ruining it! Maybe stand up to her too and tell her to be quiet and if she doesn't like stuff about you to keep it to herself and not to come see you anymore. She needs to put her place. Sorry you are having trouble sleeping..
Author darkmoon Posted July 28, 2012 Author Posted July 28, 2012 i will just let go for the time being, tel her i'm ill
BellaMarieOC Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 You need to let this friendship go. I understand it's hard letting go of someone you've known for 12 years, but she isn't being a very good friend to you. She's a bully. I understand what you are going though, I just had to let go of a 13 year friendship, it was time. We had had our ups and downs and there was even a year back in 2004 when we didn't speak. I do have to say since doing the final step of deleting her and her Mom off my FB I have been on cloud 9. I no longer feel judged for whatever I did and I really feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. You'll probably feel the same way once you let go of this toxic friendship. It took me weeks to finally let go, and now that it's over I wish I had done it sooner.
Author darkmoon Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 yes, i know, she did apologize next day, but she's 48 should no better, deep down i just know that i must let things slide, i haven't rung her, and she knows i'm busy thru the week, her god-child's mother stayed away not returning a text, she might change but i'm not hanging around, tactfully i'll say i'm busy... i know the lifted cloud feeling, i feel free
whichwayisup Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 yes, i know, she did apologize next day, but she's 48 should no better, deep down i just know that i must let things slide, i haven't rung her, and she knows i'm busy thru the week, her god-child's mother stayed away not returning a text, she might change but i'm not hanging around, tactfully i'll say i'm busy... i know the lifted cloud feeling, i feel free One I'm sorry just doesn't cut it! And yes, at 48 she should know better! She obviously has issues going on! You're handling it well. And if the time comes she asks why you're saying you're busy and avoiding her, TELL her why! Point blank! "Why would I want to spend time with you? All you do is put me down, pick at me, try to make me feel bad. That isn't fun and it certainly isn't friendship."
Author darkmoon Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 she did it again - my crappy clothes, my teeth last night...i've asked her not to ring til monday (today's thurs) she is behaving better, but my gut already told me to end it ten days ago, and tells me i'd be in tears from her comments, she can be fun but i know how the first time a friend gets nasty is the time to go, as there is the beginning of a new meaness that can be used at any time and does get used for real...she's had two chances...
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