Husband cant say no to partying

July 27, 2012

thier is alot of backstory here so to make it easier on everyone just ask me for any details you think need to be included that I havent already included.

My husbands friend is single. He is 30 and doesnt want to settle down until he's out of the military.

He calls up my husband to go out every friday.

He loves stripclubs, and the favorite bar is next to a stripclub.(my husbands friend)

What is normal, because when I went to pick him up from the bar a gorgeous brunette was

playing pool with my husband and his friend, her friend was in the bathroom so didnt see her. but she

was wearing hot pink short shorts and her tanning bed tan was locely but her shorts were so short that you could see

the fold in the but cheek that didnt get tan... she wore had to be 4-5 inch heels. What hurt is that she was bending over right infront of them shooting pool. She said you can play with him next if you win?? I thought that was silly, because If she won I would play her, and if he won I would play him.

Now before anyone says im insecure, my husband as been very vocal about me not hanging out with single girls when we dated. he even said they were using me and I got rid of them because you know they really used me for more than someone to go out with, they borrowed money and used me for rides.

Well my husband convinced me to tag along to some little get together, where a single friend of mine (whom didnt even tell me she was going out, she loves to go out so we had her exchange numbers with my husbands single friend, so they could be eachothers little goin out buddy) was going, her friend was going aswell as the hot pink shorts girl.

At this point it was 3 am and I was sober, and so was the one girl that I knew and her friend.

What irks me is that my husbands friend invited everyone back to his place, where he had coke (yes a surprise)

and Marijuana which I wanted because I have had Gen Anxiety disorder since I was 16.

The three girls and single friend lets call him Ben, was in the back bedroom door shut when my husband and I arrived.

my husband begged me to let him doit... Really? please do not think I am a bad person or that my husband is "hen pecked" I have been the "cool mom" it seems for ever but recently started thinking of starting to concieve and ive always had women friends whom are 35 and older because they are more into the mood of grilling out, drinking wine, watching movies, decorating they are just more classy to me.

I dont know whats normal, Im sure my husband would be doing coke and smoking weed with 3 women who were very attractive, if I wasnt there. He convinced me to stay the night and we fell asleep on the couch. I admit it wasn't too bad but Ive always wanted family and to do things with other family oriented people, and I am wild ofcourse thats why Im attracted to the opposite side of the spectrum. My father was an alcholic and mother was, a devout penacostal the ones that make sure to tidth even though they dont have it, and she just tells me to pray about it, and that Im lucky to have him. I cant tell anyone about the drugs that were their because I dont believe in talking bad about someone to someone that they will have to eventually see again.

So what is normal to you?, what are normal boundaries for a happily married couple?? How often is too often going out?? How much do you give until you've given too much away? and What is abnormal for to people inlove, that is not conventional but is not party animals doing threesomes and god knows what else

I have not tried to concieve yet but I am 29 this october, and my husband is 31 in december.

I have honestly not wanted to start the family because my parents marriage went sour after I cam along, and

I dont trust my husband to change for the better so Im waiting for him to change so we do not argue too much around a child.

Yes Im overweight... and am a compulsive overeater, my husband met me at 190lbs Im tall 5'8. and Im an only child, he has 3 sisters and one brother. He has always been thin, but is the only one in his family that is. He has tried acid in his teens, and mushrooms, and has done coke a few times. I take add medicine and hate any stimulant, hate to drink dont like the alchohol taste, but man do I love oreos, and pasta and garlic, goat cheese and crackers my drug of choice is food obviously. He can drink only recently did I tell him to stop drinking til he gets sick because it ruins new years for me, im always the one to take care of him when he's sick.

Another tid bit why I dont like stripclubs anymore, last time he went for a marine reunion, I stayed in the car and just sat and waiting for him cause I figured I wouldnt go in to the stripclub when the party moved from the bar to the stirpclub, because all the MARRIED couples went home at that point so I stayed my butt in the car, 12am to 3am I get fed up at 330 because I thought they closed at 230am he was getting a lapdance from a girl with Black hair, tattoos all over and blue eyes. very thin.(this hurts particualarly because I had black hair and blue eyes and peircing, with one tattoo, that he wants REMOVED and I have completed 4 visits with 1944 pulses of lzr Light removal which feels like hot grease popping on your skin, My hair back to natural color Red which he loves and, and stopped wearing my blue contacts on my green eyes) That night I went from the girl that goes to tittie bars with her husband and his friends to joining the smart wives who realized my mistake without having to make it. He had never ordered lapdances before on his own I was always thier to order them for him cause I could choose the girl. I was so desperate to have his admiration that I lost his respect I guess because that night I went in to the strip club I found that he ordered 2 lapdances from a girl.

I never knew how bad it hurt til that night. I was unattracted to him the whole weekend.

I watched a documentary: adult entertainment;disrobing an american idol on netfl8x because of this movie and my past experiences those of you who want to advise me to let him go to the stripclubs this is why I really dont want to, nor do I feel comfortable with it.

and its obvious some environments make marital issues worse and are not very healing.

Sorry for so much back story I just want to be fair to him and I both.

Edited July 27, 2012 by Freckas
wrong title

July 29, 2012

Wow, this is such a painful story to be reading.

I am in a committed relationship, I'm 23, my boyfriend is 33. Despite the age difference our relationship is based on compassionate and romantic love and we seem to be doing pretty well (together for 2+ years now)

Anyway, from my personal experience, I do not approve of regularly partying together or especially apart, unless: 1) we are going to a concert or some other event we want to share together or 2) it's an occasional special event thing and the other person trusts the other to be alone.

It sucks that you have body issues, I hope you get better with that just for your own happiness. I too have an alcoholic father which is why I love so much that my partner doesn't drink.

We rarely go out and the cook out/wine drinking thing you were talking about is our idea of a party now.

I think the situation you described at the end is like a MAJOR RED FLAG. I know I don't have much experience with your type of lifestyle (I have never been to a strip club or would be cool with my boyfriend going now that we're together) but I do know that before I met my bf I did party, drink, even do coke a few times, and every time I did that I made a terrible decision. I never cheated on ex's during those times, but I sure wanted to. Reckless behavior like that just means you're in no place to be settled down.

I think you should REALLY consider counseling or maybe separation. In my mind, the incident with the stripper while you waited in the car was cheating.

It seems like maybe you have some self-esteem issues, stemming from your anxiety and eating disorder, but you should seriously consider life without your husband for awhile. Your partners actions must be damaging to your ego and self-esteem. In the long-run you will be more miserable with a partner like this than alone (or eventually, with someone else).

You cannot make your husband change his priorities. He really treated you like **** in these situations. You should stand up for yourself and DO NOT get pregnant until he changes, if he ever does.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this that must be so hard.

Good luck.

July 30, 2012

Thank you so much for taking the time.

I agree with you completely I too had a wild streak but only with friends as a follower. The wine and grilling thing yes it seems nice because you can always "run out of wine" that way its great because then i can just say oops the gas station doesn't sell wine I guess each of us has 2 glasses and we are done.

My other friends say he maybe a dry drinker which means he has impulsivity and bad choices even when hes not around the alchohol and then if he ever is he will binge drink, i love our troops but i must say them and college kids really use this type of activity (troops need it godbless them for the horror they go through) to prove them selves. His father was an alchoholic and cheated on his mother RED FLAG honey.

Yes you are also right thanks for validating me, sometimes it sucks to feel like your insane because someone doesnt empathize with you. "admit to the spouse when you mss up dont make them think they are crazy"

The steps I am going to take and have made already is:

I will report back to the forums any successes I have.

Make a goal board or picture board of where I want to be

the weightloss gurus say this is KEY

join over eaters anonymous

start marriage counceling, I am fortunate to have insurance (finally when I need it the most therapy every two weeks, babys are expensive to have too)

I have generalized anxiety order and have since gotten off my adderal whihc induced a state of anxiety worse than my social arenas

Emailed a personal trainer

and about the end of your post I AGREE, I am going to try my hardest and communicate to him the steps I am taking and that if he is uncooperative and does not comprimise along with me then I can take a LEAP like a child.

I was raised in a marriage that was nothing short of coffee cups slung at the wall, over who forgot to bring a grocery item home, mind you it wasnt the initial reason it was the way each parent responded to eachother to resolve someone forgetting a item.

I do see that as cheating too, and this friday we went to the bar next to the strip club, after sushi (my idea!!) and I allowed ourselves to go in to find his single friend that urged him out of the house in the first place.

And the dancer was there, she is so pretty, and i cant help but still get teary eyed when I realize he left me out in the car to spend time with her, and pay for it on top of that, when he could hang out with me for free.

Additionally:

Sadly i MUST tell you that I BELIEVE it is my weight as well as my personality to blame on top of his dumbness, let me ask you this artgirl

if you were a MAN in a town full of young macho good shaped men,

would you: "leave your wife (ideally I would be athletic build)

a hot little unsatisfied (neglected cause left alone) redhead outside the strip club where hot little young unsatisfied men are walking out of?

Would it ever slip your mind to check on your hot wife when tons of guys are around??

No doubt this sounds so much more wrong than it really felt but I stated the facts and if you were there you would have seen time DID slip away from him but still, the above scenario replacing "frumpy overweight, non fashionable wife" with "hot little redhead in a skirt"

Changes the whole answer completely.

I am sorry this makes not so much since I am trying to concentrate my H is playing battlefield 3 as we speak. LOUD!!!

July 30, 2012

thier is alot of backstory here so to make it easier on everyone just ask me for any details you think need to be included that I havent already included.

My husbands friend is single. He is 30 and doesnt want to settle down until he's out of the military.
He calls up my husband to go out every friday.
He loves stripclubs, and the favorite bar is next to a stripclub.(my husbands friend)
What is normal, because when I went to pick him up from the bar a gorgeous brunette was
playing pool with my husband and his friend, her friend was in the bathroom so didnt see her. but she
was wearing hot pink short shorts and her tanning bed tan was locely but her shorts were so short that you could see
the fold in the but cheek that didnt get tan... she wore had to be 4-5 inch heels. What hurt is that she was bending over right infront of them shooting pool. She said you can play with him next if you win?? I thought that was silly, because If she won I would play her, and if he won I would play him.

Now before anyone says im insecure, my husband as been very vocal about me not hanging out with single girls when we dated. he even said they were using me and I got rid of them because you know they really used me for more than someone to go out with, they borrowed money and used me for rides.

Well my husband convinced me to tag along to some little get together, where a single friend of mine (whom didnt even tell me she was going out, she loves to go out so we had her exchange numbers with my husbands single friend, so they could be eachothers little goin out buddy) was going, her friend was going aswell as the hot pink shorts girl.

At this point it was 3 am and I was sober, and so was the one girl that I knew and her friend.
What irks me is that my husbands friend invited everyone back to his place, where he had coke (yes a surprise)
and Marijuana which I wanted because I have had Gen Anxiety disorder since I was 16.

The three girls and single friend lets call him Ben, was in the back bedroom door shut when my husband and I arrived.
my husband begged me to let him doit... Really? please do not think I am a bad person or that my husband is "hen pecked" I have been the "cool mom" it seems for ever but recently started thinking of starting to concieve and ive always had women friends whom are 35 and older because they are more into the mood of grilling out, drinking wine, watching movies, decorating they are just more classy to me.

I dont know whats normal, Im sure my husband would be doing coke and smoking weed with 3 women who were very attractive, if I wasnt there. He convinced me to stay the night and we fell asleep on the couch. I admit it wasn't too bad but Ive always wanted family and to do things with other family oriented people, and I am wild ofcourse thats why Im attracted to the opposite side of the spectrum. My father was an alcholic and mother was, a devout penacostal the ones that make sure to tidth even though they dont have it, and she just tells me to pray about it, and that Im lucky to have him. I cant tell anyone about the drugs that were their because I dont believe in talking bad about someone to someone that they will have to eventually see again.

So what is normal to you?, what are normal boundaries for a happily married couple?? How often is too often going out?? How much do you give until you've given too much away? and What is abnormal for to people inlove, that is not conventional but is not party animals doing threesomes and god knows what else

I have not tried to concieve yet but I am 29 this october, and my husband is 31 in december.
I have honestly not wanted to start the family because my parents marriage went sour after I cam along, and
I dont trust my husband to change for the better so Im waiting for him to change so we do not argue too much around a child.

Yes Im overweight... and am a compulsive overeater, my husband met me at 190lbs Im tall 5'8. and Im an only child, he has 3 sisters and one brother. He has always been thin, but is the only one in his family that is. He has tried acid in his teens, and mushrooms, and has done coke a few times. I take add medicine and hate any stimulant, hate to drink dont like the alchohol taste, but man do I love oreos, and pasta and garlic, goat cheese and crackers my drug of choice is food obviously. He can drink only recently did I tell him to stop drinking til he gets sick because it ruins new years for me, im always the one to take care of him when he's sick.

Another tid bit why I dont like stripclubs anymore, last time he went for a marine reunion, I stayed in the car and just sat and waiting for him cause I figured I wouldnt go in to the stripclub when the party moved from the bar to the stirpclub, because all the MARRIED couples went home at that point so I stayed my butt in the car, 12am to 3am I get fed up at 330 because I thought they closed at 230am he was getting a lapdance from a girl with Black hair, tattoos all over and blue eyes. very thin.(this hurts particualarly because I had black hair and blue eyes and peircing, with one tattoo, that he wants REMOVED and I have completed 4 visits with 1944 pulses of lzr Light removal which feels like hot grease popping on your skin, My hair back to natural color Red which he loves and, and stopped wearing my blue contacts on my green eyes) That night I went from the girl that goes to tittie bars with her husband and his friends to joining the smart wives who realized my mistake without having to make it. He had never ordered lapdances before on his own I was always thier to order them for him cause I could choose the girl. I was so desperate to have his admiration that I lost his respect I guess because that night I went in to the strip club I found that he ordered 2 lapdances from a girl.
I never knew how bad it hurt til that night. I was unattracted to him the whole weekend.

I watched a documentary: adult entertainment;disrobing an american idol on netfl8x because of this movie and my past experiences those of you who want to advise me to let him go to the stripclubs this is why I really dont want to, nor do I feel comfortable with it.
and its obvious some environments make marital issues worse and are not very healing.

Sorry for so much back story I just want to be fair to him and I both.

Strip clubs are full of women who have been abused whore houses are the same people.Theres this place in sydney called the love machine...it doesnt churn out happy shiny people or love...

it is amechanism full of broken hearted cogs and sadness and even avoidance.....There seems to be happiness some girls even work there to make other people happy...do degrading acts to please anothers idea of fantasy...those girls pretend they don't want love they dont deserve it.Everytime they do something its a little closer to their demise their welcome death.

Keep your husband away.

Why do you think it is a short term industry?

How many old call girls do you see?

how many old strippers are flashed on tv?

the girls go into this atmosphere of thin air aware of this.

They disappear into their own path to a shorter life.

Dont support him going to strip clubs

A stripper I know was also the upstairs girl....on stage **** shows......live shows..even with a snake around her neck this girl had a snake phobia would do groups of guys in a line that filled a hallway..

strip clubs are not just stripping and cool music....its heartache city...save a girl today....keep your husband away......best wishes hugs to you ....deb

July 30, 2012

Thank you so much for taking the time.

I agree with you completely I too had a wild streak but only with friends as a follower. The wine and grilling thing yes it seems nice because you can always "run out of wine" that way its great because then i can just say oops the gas station doesn't sell wine I guess each of us has 2 glasses and we are done.

My other friends say he maybe a dry drinker which means he has impulsivity and bad choices even when hes not around the alchohol and then if he ever is he will binge drink, i love our troops but i must say them and college kids really use this type of activity (troops need it godbless them for the horror they go through) to prove them selves. His father was an alchoholic and cheated on his mother RED FLAG honey.

Yes you are also right thanks for validating me, sometimes it sucks to feel like your insane because someone doesnt empathize with you. "admit to the spouse when you mss up dont make them think they are crazy"

The steps I am going to take and have made already is:
I will report back to the forums any successes I have.

Make a goal board or picture board of where I want to be
the weightloss gurus say this is KEY

join over eaters anonymous

start marriage counceling, I am fortunate to have insurance (finally when I need it the most therapy every two weeks, babys are expensive to have too)

I have generalized anxiety order and have since gotten off my adderal whihc induced a state of anxiety worse than my social arenas

Emailed a personal trainer

and about the end of your post I AGREE, I am going to try my hardest and communicate to him the steps I am taking and that if he is uncooperative and does not comprimise along with me then I can take a LEAP like a child.
I was raised in a marriage that was nothing short of coffee cups slung at the wall, over who forgot to bring a grocery item home, mind you it wasnt the initial reason it was the way each parent responded to eachother to resolve someone forgetting a item.

I do see that as cheating too, and this friday we went to the bar next to the strip club, after sushi (my idea!!) and I allowed ourselves to go in to find his single friend that urged him out of the house in the first place.
And the dancer was there, she is so pretty, and i cant help but still get teary eyed when I realize he left me out in the car to spend time with her, and pay for it on top of that, when he could hang out with me for free.

Additionally:
Sadly i MUST tell you that I BELIEVE it is my weight as well as my personality to blame on top of his dumbness, let me ask you this artgirl
if you were a MAN in a town full of young macho good shaped men,
would you: "leave your wife (ideally I would be athletic build)
a hot little unsatisfied (neglected cause left alone) redhead outside the strip club where hot little young unsatisfied men are walking out of?
Would it ever slip your mind to check on your hot wife when tons of guys are around??

No doubt this sounds so much more wrong than it really felt but I stated the facts and if you were there you would have seen time DID slip away from him but still, the above scenario replacing "frumpy overweight, non fashionable wife" with "hot little redhead in a skirt"
Changes the whole answer completely.

I am sorry this makes not so much since I am trying to concentrate my H is playing battlefield 3 as we speak. LOUD!!!

When the American sailors came Australia Love machine was first port of call.I know men see horror but I dont think if they actually knew the truth they would participate they would be protective and end up hurt.

Smoke and mirrors......its an illusion that fools them they are stressed lonely sometimes extremely sexually aggressive due to wanting.....Females go through horror too before they start call girl life and during if they knew without being fooled..if they could listen or hear.....but they do all the talking...they would take the girls and run....but Love Machine had or still has good mirrors and the smoke.....blinding...the illusion of girls who love to love you baby..that was a favourite song they played when doing live shows with a snake and half the crew.....deb

August 1, 2012

It's awesome that you're making some changes and taking the first steps toward a happier life style.

Just for yourself, you should try to get some therapy for your eating problem. Going to the support group sounds like a fantastic idea. When people experience childhood trauma (like it seems you did with your parents' outrages) they often turn to things that will produce pleasurable sensations. Later in life, adults turn to sex, drugs, reckless spending, etc., but as children the first vice is often food. Our brain's are hard wired to crave food, especially fatty, salty, sugary foods as these foods create the most pleasure in our brains. Now that you're an adult, you no longer have to play into this game. Although it seems your husband may be causing you too much stress to handle, making it even harder to ditch your life-long addiction. My point is, once you learn the root of your eating disorder, you can realize that you are in control over your own happiness and you don't need to overeat to feel good. As far as this whole weight, health, eating issue goes, you should change these behaviors for yourself so that you just feel great about yourself -- Not for anyone else.

If your husband met you when you were heavy, his feelings shouldn't have changed to the point where he's spending money to have some other girl grind on him.

When you pointed out that if you were a hot young red head in a mini skirt that you don't think your husband would be going to the clubs and leaving you outside you make a great point. I think this is how YOU want to feel about yourself. You feel unhappy about your appearance and therefore you justify his behavior. You might be thinking "I don't think I'm sexy, so of course he doesn't." But the truth is, if your husband has his priorities right, he WOULDNT leave you outside -- he'd want to be at home in bed with you, cuddling, making love, or just being together. If your appearance really hasnt changed that much, don't make excuses for him. If you want to look different and be different, then that's got to be ALL FOR YOU. But don't allow him to put you down because you think it's only normal for him to want someone else.

Everybody on this earth deserves to be loved and appreciated. If he can't make you happy you should figure out a new plan. And there are plenty of guys who LOVE big women.

Stay positive, keep a journal of your goals, seek support groups and know that all people possess the strength it takes to overcome even the biggest challenges. And never let someone take you for granted.

August 1, 2012

I can't stand the fact you think so negative of your self! OP stop eating junk that is making you gain wain start a plan! Is really not that hard as for your H he sounds like a peace of ****! Why would you be willing to wait? On front of a strip club for 3 hours? Get the **** out better yourself he is a complete doushbag to do this to you! 190 pounds is a lot you can do this just think of all the girls his been flirting with should give you some inspiration to loose the weight! Stop Kissing his ass he sounds very selfish! I hope you get trough this OP best luck

August 2, 2012

I have alot of resentment, even now about the whole leaving me behind.

He has been gone on a work assignment (really his company sent itinerary)

we have eahothers passwords so dont worry on this detail.

As I was saying he was gone from monday til this friday coming up. Then on Aug 8th he leaves for overseas a whole month.

I am so upset and feel like ofcourse this is my luck, he always said, "babe we spend every night together" and thats true unless hes gone on work which is a week out of every month. or if his friend calls. In his job there is no guaruntee when they will send him somewhere again. We were apart a whole year from 2010 to 2011. It seems like i cant make up for the lost time from that year.

As for last friday

I'd like to report to everyone I picked out a sushi place, and we had fun, it was true ineeded to have a alternative to his friends offer. mine was funner. Then his friend called who was hanging out with my friend, and they begged us to come hang out.

do you know what?! i figured out why! they are so effing boring with thier dumb strip club or whiskey bar crap every friday. eff that!

well the 2nd part of the night after the sushi bar, we joined them, because we HAD both agreed, actually H signed me up for his friend and him and i, and then the single girl asked me...long story basically he couldn't say no, so i told her "sure" so id be out too.

im sorry i know my posts are really confusing but please take the time to read them, as your encouragement has really saved me. I do have a therapist, and have seen her for a year, twice a month, for my depression and anxiety.

I have gotten off wellbutrin and Adderal so that i dont have to withdraw and be on a diet. and because I want to change and modify my behavior.

so continueing on...

I found out that my single friend and his single friend had sex the night before....(thursday) (i told you no boundaries with these pple)

We had introduced them because they like to go out so much, but now that they have effed, they are done with eachother it seems.

but here is the kicker. That makes me so mad, is per usual his single friend left with some girl (hid in bathroom so my single friend would leave with us, thinkinghe left already).

And this is nothing new, after thinking back on everything, his single friend HAS always left without saying goodbye or thanks for coming out or Eff off, nada nothing...

And my husband couldnt say no to this bull****? Wouldn't you question yourself "damn... hes scared to say no, but he aint scared to hurt my feelings

It makes me angry just thinking about how for the longest time in many situations whether its a phone conveversation with another friend whom was definately a drunk that needed AA not my Husbands philisophical antedotes., I mean this guy would call on fridays or saturdays even mondays drunk and singing into the phone and swearing that if his LDR cheats on him he will never get close to a woman again....

Have you asked yourself:

What I married my spouse for is what is destoying us now.

he was too good of a friend, he was carefree fly by the seat of his pants nothing worried him..... now apply that to our marriage he's giving his dips*** friends advice like he's dr phil, while his own marriage suffers. im getting mad right now just typing this, better wrap it up. I hope you respond, and i hope you guys will let me comment on any of your posts.

The reason why this SITE is so awesome is.... i couldn't tell this stuff to my parents or friends they would think I should leave or that im a bad wife etc etc.

I think when I start noticing my body changing and the lbs coming off, I wil re-evaluate the situation. If you can try to think about how I feel betrayed that he would treat me like this.... repeatedly. Punishment comes to mind but more than that, the feeling of low self worth comes.

thank you again for your kindness

August 2, 2012

Hello OP,

I'm not sure if this has been said already but here are my thoughts.

I stopped reading after "He has a single friend that calls him out often and they go to strip clubs." A married man has no business going to a bar or a club alone without his wife, let alone being out with a single male friend at a strip club!

This is unacceptable in a marriage. He needs to put his marriage first and protect his marriage. A single friend like that is poisonous to a marriage. Your husband needs to cut this friend off completely. If he's unwilling to, then you need to make a choice if you want to stay.

You're putting up too much...and boundaries need to be set up, clear and firm. It seems like your husband feels too comfortable.

I would divorce my husband if this happened.

August 26, 2012

This weekend without fail, my husbands single friend invited him and I out. He invites me because he knows I will not be cool with my husband going to the stripclub. You may wonder why the stripclub? why is this the only location he invites you to?

I dont know the answer to that, in simple words I guess he's trash.

Ive been judged so much for my choice of words but I cant worry about that anymore.

My husband just texts back to the text invite that "not this weekend"

and thats great I REALLY do appreciate it.

But tonight we were at homedepot buying a load of mosquito gear, and that stupid text comes in. my single friend who cheats on every man she's been with, is with my husbands single friend. Why cant these two doh-doh birds come up with something to do by themselves?? Well shes already slept with him... I distanced myself from her a year ago and she is the type of fair weather friend that really is there to party but if you have to pack your house up to move she is busy busy busy. (which a friend shouldnt have to feel obligated to help you move, but thats an example)

well if you've read the whole backstory you know I cant stand the strip clubs, Im tired of them the reason being I was a cool wife, but I was so cool that my husband got spoiled and when I decided to be "selfish" one night and sit in the car-- naively thinking he would not go in the stripclub, (next to the bar we were at) he did, I didn't say he couldn't I said " I dont want you to go, and if your going to go, you need to make it quick"

Writing this makes me so mad at myself but onward:

After 3 hours or so in the car, I go in and my husband is on his 2nd lapdance.

Really?

so why doesnt he have the balls to tell his friend to go eff off, that he cant go out to the strip club anymore,

should I be satisfied with him lying and promising his dumb single friend "not this weekend maybe next weekend"

on top of this question I must confess that on the way home from home depot tonight I just lost it and confessed to him the reason I cant stand the strip club anymore or people that frrequent them is that I NOW see why it messes up marriages- I explained to him: That when I sat in the car waiting on him, that night and he decided to extend his time in the strip club after me telling him not to take long (because before that I had always been a yes girl to the strip club thing and staying out all night together but only once a month) the fact that instead of opting out he lengthens his time in there with a VIP, and leaves me out in the car to sit, showed me that obviously I was LEAST important, and I explained to him: I know your innocent you didnt mean crap by doing it but this is how it feels for your husband to tell you to get rid of your peiercings, and your 1 tattoo, and your blue contacts, and by the way your better as a redhead than jet black hair... he goes and get a lap dance from a girl covered in tats, drawn on sharpie eyebrows, piercings, and jet black hair. who lines her lips from the outside in.

WTF????

he just ignores me and then says "your ****ing crazy"

Why was I crazy? I fully explained this is not some punishment this is me explaining why it hurts everytime he doesn't speak up and say the truth to his single friend.

I dont know why his friend doesnt call him up before 950pm on a fri or saturday night . I don't know!!!

Im sorry for my verbose writing and horrible punctuation, please give your thoughts ladies and gentlemen.

August 26, 2012

When he calls you crazy it's him saying your feelings don't matter.

September 8, 2012

why does my husband not tell his friend to stop inviting him to the strip club?

every friday, ths is his friends "hang out bar" because its located near his house and other obvious reason

I need to know how this can all end if you read my previous posts you can see why a stripclub is terrible for our marriage right now.

Ive told my friend to stop inviting us to the strip club, but her and my husbands friend have a casual sex relationship and they call us every friday night.

What they dont seem to understand is that, as i posted in my original post- is the lapdances and naked women around ruins our progress.

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Husband cant say no to partying

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