brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I think you are confusing my point, so let's be clear. Sure, a woman in her 40s can get dates. But that's not the point. The point is that the longer you hold out, the more you are going to miss out on opportunities. And as you age, you'll find yourself with less options than you have today. (The same is true for men, but it is especially true for women.) So if you think you're unhappy with your dating options now, then realize that the amount of options only gets worse as you get older. That doesn't mean you won't ever meet prince charming in your 40's. Sure, you might. And it doesn't mean that there aren't' attractive women in their 40's. Clearly, there are! But it does mean the odds are against you as you age. Especially for women. And I'm not trying to be mean by saying that. It's just life! You wanna hold out longer? Sure, go for it. But realize that you are not in a Carrie Bradshaw novel. And that not everyone is guaranteed a "happy ending" romance. I totally agree with you man. I see it with my older friends. Your dating prospects get worse and worse and worse and worse as you get older. By age 35, most high quality men and women are probably going to be in happy relationships/married
brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I think I have said it many times here: I love my own company. I am independent and I can be pretty content with my single life. I am not one of those people that can only be happy in a relationship. I am fully aware that I will more than likely not find what I am looking for. In betting terms, I am going for all or nothing. Many people settle because they are afraid of ending up with nothing. I am not one of those people, as weird as that makes me. What is it that these guys that you're meeting don't have? Are they not good looking enough? Is their personality not exciting enough? Or do they not have the money/career/education that you want? Is it a combination of the three?
Shaun-Dro Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Exactly, you guys will date anyone who is pretty / good looking as long as she isn't a total hag personality wise. Why do you get mad at women who want more than just that in a partner? It does exist, plenty of women have more than just a good on paper guy. Or a guy who is sexy. Lots of women have both, hell I do! My BF is hot, attractive, smart, perfect on paper, and guess what, we have chemistry and "spark" and all that s.hit you guys freak out over a woman wanting because it is "mythical". It's not. It's because you women are over-complicating matters that don't need to be, that's why. You buy into the false reality of how men should be and if we aren't you give us a hard time. Well, two can play that game.
brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Exactly, you guys will date anyone who is pretty / good looking as long as she isn't a total hag personality wise. Why do you get mad at women who want more than just that in a partner? It does exist, plenty of women have more than just a good on paper guy. Or a guy who is sexy. Lots of women have both, hell I do! My BF is hot, attractive, smart, perfect on paper, and guess what, we have chemistry and "spark" and all that s.hit you guys freak out over a woman wanting because it is "mythical". It's not. I don't think your standards are crazy high. I think that a lot of high value males who have a lot of options have similar standards. My friends who get a lot of girls wouldn't date a pretty face who was boring either My question to the OP is what is she looking for exactly that she's not finding? Is it about looks? About personality? About money? I don't have an issue with women being picky on looks and personality, I think everybody should be like that. I just kind of laugh when I hear women turn down a guy for very superficial reasons like education, career, money, age, etc... I'm not saying you should date a guy who is broke but sometimes I feel like a woman will turn down a guy who makes 75,000 dollars a year because he's looking for a guy that makes 100,000 dollars a year. I mean, does that 25,000 dollars a year really make that big of a difference? Does the fact that he has only an associates degree instead of a masters degree really change how he is as a person? 1
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Exactly, you guys will date anyone who is pretty / good looking as long as she isn't a total hag personality wise. Why do you get mad at women who want more than just that in a partner? It does exist, plenty of women have more than just a good on paper guy. Or a guy who is sexy. Lots of women have both, hell I do! My BF is hot, attractive, smart, perfect on paper, and guess what, we have chemistry and "spark" and all that s.hit you guys freak out over a woman wanting because it is "mythical". It's not. No one is freaking out, but you can't argue the fact that it's much harder to find what you want than it is for me to find what I want.
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I don't think your standards are crazy high. I think that a lot of high value males who have a lot of options have similar standards. My friends who get a lot of girls wouldn't date a pretty face who was boring either My question to the OP is what is she looking for exactly that she's not finding? Is it about looks? About personality? About money? I don't have an issue with women being picky on looks and personality, I think everybody should be like that. I just kind of laugh when I hear women turn down a guy for very superficial reasons like education, career, money, age, etc... I'm not saying you should date a guy who is broke but sometimes I feel like a woman will turn down a guy who makes 75,000 dollars a year because he's looking for a guy that makes 100,000 dollars a year. I mean, does that 25,000 dollars a year really make that big of a difference? Does the fact that he has only an associates degree instead of a masters degree really change how he is as a person? Has nothing to do with "high quality". Every single human being on earth no matter how hideously ugly or gorgeous they are want the perfect mate. The difference is, I'm not going to close out any girl that doesn't feel like "the one", whereas girls will continue to reject guys if they don't automatically make them feel like they're in a romance novel. Like I said a few pages back, I don't need to be swept off my feet by every woman I meet in my life. 2
mesmerized Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Has nothing to do with "high quality". Every single human being on earth no matter how hideously ugly or gorgeous they are want the perfect mate. The difference is, I'm not going to close out any girl that doesn't feel like "the one", whereas girls will continue to reject guys if they don't automatically make them feel like they're in a romance novel. Like I said a few pages back, I don't need to be swept off my feet by every woman I meet in my life. That's BS. Men are just as picky. I know a lot of men who can have any woman they want but "don't want to settle". Sorry guys your theory about men not being as picky only counts for men with very very few options, even some of those men are incredibly picky.
Shaun-Dro Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 That's BS. Men are just as picky. I know a lot of men who can have any woman they want but "don't want to settle". Sorry guys your theory about men not being as picky only counts for men with very very few options, even some of those men are incredibly picky. Yea, we're picky in "settling" because it's only natural. Settling is regarded as getting serious and committing. That's a whole different ball game. We don't act like that when dating, but you ladies certainly do.
jobaba Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I think I have said it many times here: I love my own company. I am independent and I can be pretty content with my single life. I am not one of those people that can only be happy in a relationship. You're not though. You're always on here complaining about it. See. I don't want kids. So for me, there's no timetable. I can take my sweet time trying to meet a good, smart, non-shallow woman who I click with. That's for marriage. In the meantime, I will date people I don't have a crazy connection with absolutely. Also, the qualities I look for in a person aren't in demand or competed for at least. My problem is, I'm bitter about rejection. But in terms of being lonely, or needing sex, or marriage, I don't. I think you should ask yourself what it is that is bothering you about being alone. -Biological clock? -Social pressure to be married? -The fact that the older you get, the 'better' men are leaving the shelves? -Are you lonely? -Do you need sex? Once you find out what it is that you are needing, then you can concentrate on finding men that fit that need and compromise on the rest of your requirements.
turt Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Have you actually gotten to do anything with the people you dated or did you just have a talk over dinner or something similar? It may just take sometime to get to know the person. Of course you'd want to make sure that there is at least some potential before investing more time. 1
mesmerized Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Yea, we're picky in "settling" because it's only natural. Settling is regarded as getting serious and committing. That's a whole different ball game. We don't act like that when dating, but you ladies certainly do. I think OP is looking for love not just "dating". And yes, we're picky when it comes to sex alone. What's the fun in sex with a man who you don't even find attractive?
brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 That's BS. Men are just as picky. I know a lot of men who can have any woman they want but "don't want to settle". Sorry guys your theory about men not being as picky only counts for men with very very few options, even some of those men are incredibly picky. Definitely true if you're talking about overall standards
brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 edit to my previous post That's BS. Men are just as picky. I know a lot of men who can have any woman they want but "don't want to settle". Sorry guys your theory about men not being as picky only counts for men with very very few options, even some of those men are incredibly picky. Men are picky about looks/personality Women are picky about looks/personality/age/career/money/education/god knows what else Though I do agree with you. Guys with options are very picky
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 edit to my previous post Men are picky about looks/personality Women are picky about looks/personality/age/career/money/education/god knows what else Though I do agree with you. Guys with options are very picky ^^^This....
Shaun-Dro Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 edit to my previous post Men are picky about looks/personality Women are picky about looks/personality/age/career/money/education/god knows what else Though I do agree with you. Guys with options are very picky You forgot to mention they're also picky about types of shoes, what kind of shirt we're wearing at the time, how men laugh, how fast or how long it takes us to make a move on them, the list goes on and on. I'm just speaking from experience. I deal with women all the time. I don't have trouble picking them up and taking them out. I do have some trouble in keeping them because of my honesty and refusal to bend over for them.
brahmabull117 Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 ^^^This.... None of those things really matter either. Who gives a f*ck what college somebody graduated from or even if they went to college? Plenty of self educated, self employed people are very hard working and very intelligent Does an extra 30,000 dollars a year really make somebody that much of a better person?
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 None of those things really matter either. Who gives a f*ck what college somebody graduated from or even if they went to college? Plenty of self educated, self employed people are very hard working and very intelligent Does an extra 30,000 dollars a year really make somebody that much of a better person? Because the media has created this idea that prince charming exists and if you hold out, eventually he'll come to you. Women feed into this idea of the perfect man for them. Instead of dating around and testing the waters, some women blow out any man they don't see as prince charming material. OP already stated she's dated guys that fit her criteria on paper, but just didn't feel a "spark" with them. So it's not that there aren't quality guys in her area, it's that she doesn't want to date them. 1
Woggle Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Most guys I know do have standards but we really don't have the insane criteria no mere mortal can live up to that some women seem to have. I have actually gotten multiple with women who have impossible standards and I end it because I know that the minute I breathe the wrong way things will turn. It is pure hell to be involved with somebody like that. It's like running a race with no finish line. Believe I am not reverting back to my old misogynistic ways but men on an average seem to be so much more relaxed and content than some women seem to be. I would hate to feel like I have to pick apart everything like that. Just because I deal with reality and not some magical unicorn crap that only exists in movies does not mean that it is settling.
mesmerized Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 You forgot to mention they're also picky about types of shoes, what kind of shirt we're wearing at the time, how men laugh, how fast or how long it takes us to make a move on them, the list goes on and on. I'm just speaking from experience. I deal with women all the time. I don't have trouble picking them up and taking them out. I do have some trouble in keeping them because of my honesty and refusal to bend over for them. If a woman pick on the little things all the times, it means she is not that attracted to you! When we don't like a guy even the way he laughs can be annoying. I still don't agree. You see plenty of poor average men in relationships so women all can't be that picky. Also, in my experience, most men with education are very picky on education. They see it beneath them to seriously date a girl with only a high school diploma if they have more. I've had many many men tell me that. How much you make also matters unlike some people here like to think. 1
Els Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I don't think your standards are crazy high. I think that a lot of high value males who have a lot of options have similar standards. My friends who get a lot of girls wouldn't date a pretty face who was boring either My question to the OP is what is she looking for exactly that she's not finding? Is it about looks? About personality? About money? I don't have an issue with women being picky on looks and personality, I think everybody should be like that. I just kind of laugh when I hear women turn down a guy for very superficial reasons like education, career, money, age, etc... I'm not saying you should date a guy who is broke but sometimes I feel like a woman will turn down a guy who makes 75,000 dollars a year because he's looking for a guy that makes 100,000 dollars a year. I mean, does that 25,000 dollars a year really make that big of a difference? Does the fact that he has only an associates degree instead of a masters degree really change how he is as a person? See, the issue I have with this is that nobody should have the right to dictate anyone else's preferences. Why is it acceptable to be picky about looks and personality but not about anything else, just because that is what YOU do? I couldn't give two hoots about looks - I do have requirements, but they are very basic and 90% of the male population could probably fulfill them. I do, however, care very much about intellect, and to a lesser degree education and career. I fail to see how wanting a 6-pack is any more reasonable and logical or makes a better 'difference' than my preferences. Like what you like and leave everyone else alone. It's okay to be excluded from some preferences, y'know. It weeds out the incompatible ones for you. 2
Woggle Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 My ex picked on every little thing so I guess she must not have been attracted to me. Though if she wasn't attracted to me why is it that she completely flipped when I moved on and she realized she truly lost me for real? She couldn't have been that repulsed by me.
MrCastle Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I still don't agree. You see plenty of poor average men in relationships so women all can't be that picky. No, not all women are picky. Just the lonely ones.
mesmerized Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 My ex picked on every little thing so I guess she must not have been attracted to me. Though if she wasn't attracted to me why is it that she completely flipped when I moved on and she realized she truly lost me for real? She couldn't have been that repulsed by me. Her ego was bruised.
Woggle Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I think people have the right to any standards but if somebody is asking for advice on a board I think that honest and frank advice would help the best. She asks on here about her dating problems so how would it help her if we told her that she is flawless and all these other guys are just beneath her? If she just wants validation for that kind of view just say it and all guys should stop posting in this thread but if she wants real advice it is better not to beat around the bush. 1
Woggle Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Her ego was bruised. I guess her ego was worth going to prison over then. Pretty stupid if you ask me.
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