edgehedge Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Ok, so I met a chick online, weird I know... but heres the story... she came out from a recent break up, we became texting friends and sooner or later you know it we were talking on the phones for hours and hours on a daily basis. She was texting me all the time, in the morning in the afternoon, evening, night time. However I was busy going to University and didn't have a car, so I held on meeting her, stupid I know.. As our conversations deepened we really became accustomed to eachother, we told eachother almost everything. However I started to get a little possessive even though I never actually met her, telling her to not go out with her GUY friends, as she had soo many, stupid I know. I also became clingy towards the end, and she started saying stop giving me hearts thats my job... well sooner or later long story short, after 5 months of talking on the phone keeping tab of both of our daily lives and activities, she said I only want to be friends at this point... as I was pushing for a relationship lol when we only talked on the phone LAME i know, slowly slowly she stopped calling me as much...and than I went on my first date with her and god damn she brought a friend... I felt she was looking at me laughing and everything was great, but I didnt even hug her or touch her in any way cus of the friends only BS she started telling me over the phone prior. I started confessing my feelings more and more did it so many times, and it started to annoy her gradually I could tell she even told me... she stopped calling me abruptly, obviously there are other details that are just too much state, but holy that was cruel... just cutting me off suddenly... I started ignoring her also, and she asked to hang out again.. we went to the movies... and nothing happened again date ended and after that it started to end even more... texts became LESS and LESS, phone calling ZERO.. its been like close to 2 months now, we havent talked on the phone, or hung out cus she ALWAYS says no.. whenever I persist her to chill.. she just wont do it... apparentely she thinks i like her, cus i said males and females cant be friends if one likes the other... and ummm it sucks... 5 months was pretty long especially when you came with the mindset you were gonna make her yours. I still have her BBM lol... we never text anymore CURRENT situation... but she did ask me how i was doing a couple days ago out of the blue. other details, shes said things like I TRULY DONT SEE YOU THAT WAY IM SORRY FOR YOUR FEEELINGS, I DONT FEEL YOU, im far from interested... like she became a bitch so she wouldn`t lead me on, and make me hate her.. so she wouldnt be the bad guy.. she even said im a bitch cus i want you to stop liking me.. what do you guys think? i like her, and wanna get her back cus my head feels so heavy from regret, and hope.. i mean she really did like me... i know i messed up i dont know where...could be anyhthing looks, she got back with ex, found another guy, looks, etc etc.. but there somethign there? i mean i could sense the excitment in her in our first date, trust me i know... and on the phone she loved talking to me... rebound guy?? maybe... what eevr it is... is it over? i mean... or what can i do? she never chills... says why would you drive to my city (45mins) just to hang out, thats weird...
stillafool Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I think you should let her go. If she likes you she will get in touch but at this point she has told you how she feels. I think you should believe her and move on.
danm Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 I think you've been too pushy and persistent. That pushes girls away massively. If you try to encourage something too much, people often do the opposite. That's the biggest mistake. She knows what you want, and isn't interested. Shes said so. So why keep pestering her for it? It will, and has, made her go away. In fairness, she broke up with someone before you got chatting. Chances are likely you were a good companion when she needed someone nice to talk to. Did she confide in you about her breakup? Its game over.
Author edgehedge Posted July 29, 2012 Author Posted July 29, 2012 I think you've been too pushy and persistent. That pushes girls away massively. If you try to encourage something too much, people often do the opposite. That's the biggest mistake. She knows what you want, and isn't interested. Shes said so. So why keep pestering her for it? It will, and has, made her go away. In fairness, she broke up with someone before you got chatting. Chances are likely you were a good companion when she needed someone nice to talk to. Did she confide in you about her breakup? Its game over. I wish I could change it soo much... I get nightmares... its so messed up that I got this way.
MarlyStar Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 You had a fantasy relationship with her. 5 months and no meeting? She used you to dump on and recover from her break up. You were the rebound relationship, without actually meeting. If you had actually met her say within the first two or three weeks, it might have gone the other way. In any case, you need to work on the needy, clingy, possessive thing. It will sabotage all your relationships if you let it--not just with her.
Author edgehedge Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 You had a fantasy relationship with her. 5 months and no meeting? She used you to dump on and recover from her break up. You were the rebound relationship, without actually meeting. If you had actually met her say within the first two or three weeks, it might have gone the other way. In any case, you need to work on the needy, clingy, possessive thing. It will sabotage all your relationships if you let it--not just with her. We did meet, she was feeling me also on our first date, and than we met again, we met 2 times total... i didn't even hug her or touch her.. I know its over, but she's still single, isn't there anything I can do... oh man.. this is terrible... she an amazing person to talk to , I enjoyed it so much...
Author edgehedge Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 You had a fantasy relationship with her. 5 months and no meeting? She used you to dump on and recover from her break up. You were the rebound relationship, without actually meeting. If you had actually met her say within the first two or three weeks, it might have gone the other way. In any case, you need to work on the needy, clingy, possessive thing. It will sabotage all your relationships if you let it--not just with her. isn't there anything i can do to reverse this... i mean if i text her, call her... i know she'll pick up.. but even if i call her.. she will say gotta go gotta go very quick into the convo.. i don't get it, she can go from talking to me for 5 hours straight? to can't even stand me? soo weird... she's mean girl huh? i was very nice to her.
It's Just Me Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 You were her relationship pain band-aid. It happens. Move on, and never get involved with a newly-broken up person again.
Author edgehedge Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 She had a break up, used you to validate her ego that she was still wanted, never had any intention of meeting you and this was all one sided. it sucks to hear this since you caught feelings for her, but this is how i view the situation. Delete her from BBM. Get rid of her. And the rest is history. Go no contact. If she contacts you. Ignore her. Second best is not cool. she broke up with her ex, her ex use to call her 100 times a day when she was talking to me, asking for 2nd chance, she didn't give it.. cus he hit her.
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