Teal Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 So I met up with an old friend for the first time in years, and what started off as a delightful reunion with someone I used to crush on turned into a mess. To make a long story short, I unearthed just how much of himself he fakes to get in good with people. I don't think it matters if it's because he thinks no one likes the real him; a liar is a liar. Right? Beforehand he said he kept trying to get in touch with me and seemed sheepish about it - which I thought was adorable - but it's obviously not well-intentioned. Don't I feel like an idiot for the fact that my eyes must have lit up in delight that someone would be thinking of me the way I think of people I've let slip out of my life, myself. I left my last serious relationship at the end of 2011, and it's been nothing but bad apples since except for two opportunities that slipped by (another woman sealed the deal first, then distance). The good friendships I have with these guys now is just salt in the wound some days, because they've shown nothing but character as time goes on. Otherwise, I'm finding myself looking for deceit in every male in my age group who approaches me because it's been the rule that they want something and they don't have qualms about what it takes to get it - and that something is never a loving relationship and my well-being. One of the guys I went out on several dates with was even explicitly lying about liking me because he was desperate to lose his virginity and no one else had given him a chance. I have no idea how or why I attract these people, unless it's the fact that I'm a noticeably quiet and hesitant person that's drawing them in. I'm not provocative and I avoid choosing people who are openly more interested in casual sex than a relationship or don't seem to have good values. I beeline for people who seem quiet, warm, thoughtful, safe, and intelligent. Maybe I'm just helpless and can't judge character, though I'm thankful for how long I hold out because I've yet to give any of them what they want. I don't feel like there's any chance to win at this anymore.
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