runningfar Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Okay. So, I've not been actively dating in a long time...say- my whole adult life; I am 28, but was married until 2 years ago. I am overweight (I am a size 10 at only 5'4 -- 160 lb...) I am extremely fit, otherwise. (Medical stuff result in gain followed by just plain trouble losing it; it is not at all easy for me.) I have been asked out since my divorce, but wasn't ready... and attraction wasn't an issue with my ex, so it's not that no one can be attracted to me; I have not tried online dating or anything. I feel like I really need to lose weight; because I'm not happy at this weight and a part of me will always doubt any guy who says he does. However, should I wait until I have done this before starting dating? There's other things that could be improved, as well. This question holds for other avenues of self improvement as well. If you are not very happy with yourself, do you focus on yourself first or just try both? Part ofme thinks- I am getting older and want a family! But I'm not sure how good that is as a reason.
madjac74 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 So what have you been doing in the past 2 years if you are just coming to this fork in the road now? You should have been self-improving at least 6 months after your divorce. I say 6 months because I know how hard divorce is and I was being generous
Author runningfar Posted July 27, 2012 Author Posted July 27, 2012 So what have you been doing in the past 2 years if you are just coming to this fork in the road now? You should have been self-improving at least 6 months after your divorce. I say 6 months because I know how hard divorce is and I was being generous I was emotionally dealing with the divorce, going back to work, hanging out with friends, volunteering at a homeless shelter, dealing with the medical thing mentioned, working out, etc. As I said, I am fit. I have worked out a bare minimum of 10 hours a week (mainly running but also rockclimbing, bootcamp, etc) every week for the last decade. Often more. I've won a few smaller ultras or 5Ks. I've not been sitting on the couch or anything.
madjac74 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I was emotionally dealing with the divorce, going back to work, hanging out with friends, volunteering at a homeless shelter, dealing with the medical thing mentioned, working out, etc. As I said, I am fit. I have worked out a bare minimum of 10 hours a week (mainly running but also rockclimbing, bootcamp, etc) every week for the last decade. Often more. I've won a few smaller ultras or 5Ks. I've not been sitting on the couch or anything. I didnt suggest that. So you are obviously already improving yourself. I'd say it's time to go on the dating scene
Author runningfar Posted July 27, 2012 Author Posted July 27, 2012 Are there many guys who want to date girls who are, uhh, fat? Especially active ones? I don't really care what size someone is, but I wouldn't want to date anyone who couldn't go camping and hiking and running and generally keep up with me. Also, the fact that I am not comfortable at this size/self esteem/ won't that turn guys off? I guess I should have led with those questions, too...
madjac74 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I've met many larger women and they were very active and fun and confident. Any guys who disregard them, it's because of their own insecurities and shallowness. I should know...I have been guilty of it myself and lost some pretty amazing people. Don't get down about who your are. You are obviously trying. Even skinny people have the same hurdles.
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