sam2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Hi Is this a normal thing to do? Some days I just think about my ex, feeling so sad that we won't be together, day dreaming of happier times with her and the future we planned. When I do this, that's it the day might as well be over. I just sit online on this forum or other dating related forums reading people's posts, trying to get some insights. Everything else just goes on hold. Nothing matters, nothing snaps me out of it. I know keeping busy is the best way to get over an ex but it just seems impossible on days like today.
stillafool Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I know and it can become an addiction. You should get a timer and allow yourself only 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evening to read online. Sitting and spending your time online keeps her on your mind. You need to be out in the sunshine doing things and interacting with other people to heal. (((HUGS))).
Ajax Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I know I used to do the same thing in the weeks and even months after my breakup. But I tell you now, it's not healthy. Maybe for a while right after the breakup it can be a way to process the emotions and go through the mourning process, but if you wallow for too long it will hold you back.
Author sam2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Author Posted July 28, 2012 Well, wasted pretty much all yesterday doing it. Looks like it's gonna be the same today. Really need to snap out of this.
Ajax Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Make a commitment to getting outside at least once today. Go for a walk, or to a store. Somewhere there are people. Even if you don't know or talk to anyone, at least you're out with the living again. Have you considered seeing a counselor? It sounds like you could use an ally in this.
Author sam2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Author Posted July 28, 2012 Well since posting today I've tried to stay offline. So just moped around thinking of her watching tv. Weekends really are hard because I think Friday/Saturday= time for dates. Times she's ff with someone new falling for them like she fell for me:(
Mr Scorpio Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I know exactly how you feel. It's evening worse in the Summer when it is so nice outside, and even if you aren't with a significant other, you "should" be with friends having a bonfire, a BBQ, doing something. Oh well, at least we have the Olmypics for a temporary distraction.
Exit Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 My computer chair is probably extremely tired of spending time with my ass, I can tell you that much. I've felt the same thing the last few weeks, there's been some beautiful days outside and I spend them online. No girlfriend, no friends, nowhere to go.
ImASadPanda Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 I'm going to try to start helping others on this site while they are some trying to help me. Maybe paying it forward will help distract me by doing something positive. I know exactly how you feel. I don't know if you work or are still in school, but you are not alone. I spent several hours at work looking up every "how to" including: get over an ex, get an ex back, cope with anxiety, how to tell if I have an addition to nyqil and my anxiety meds, and reading this forum. I have to say that I think you are 100% normal in doing this. Its part of the downside of our technological advances ... we can find whatever string of conversation or articles we want thanks to google... and thanks to smart phones, we are not only restricted to doing it at home, we can do it in the car, while driving (not safe), while jogging or doing those things with friends or family when we shouldnt even be on our phones reading all this stuff. Try to start finding ways to "leave" your cell phone places if it has internet ... like in the car if you are at work, or at home if you are in class. Someone else suggested that to put website blocks on a computer for certain times of the day, so you have nothing else to focus on other than what you are supposed to be focusing on. There are all kinds of privacy and access setting, in additon to PC plug-ins and software, and apps for phone that help do all this. I'm new to this giving advice part ... but sene I am reaching out to this community for help, then I think its only fair I step in a positive direction and try to help others as well. Please keep posting if you feel you need support.
M30USA Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Hi Is this a normal thing to do? Some days I just think about my ex, feeling so sad that we won't be together, day dreaming of happier times with her and the future we planned. When I do this, that's it the day might as well be over. I just sit online on this forum or other dating related forums reading people's posts, trying to get some insights. Everything else just goes on hold. Nothing matters, nothing snaps me out of it. I know keeping busy is the best way to get over an ex but it just seems impossible on days like today. Don't beat yourself up over it. You're allowed to wallow around. We have times in life when we're on the ball and charged up, and other times when we're at the bottom. It's good to experience both. It's part of being human. 1
OsiStruck Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Sounds like you need to get out of the house and get yourself busy. I took up bike riding and love it... lost 40 lbs in the process and even started dated again.... this took my mind off my ex after he left me for someone half our age.... saw him recently and he was pissed to see I'm doing great! Even made a comment that I Never dressed up while we were together... Gee Dude, really maybe cuz we never went out!! lol... Good luck dear. It will get better but you need to work on yourself.... Try hanging out with girlfriends..
OsiStruck Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Don't beat yourself up over it. You're allowed to wallow around. We have times in life when we're on the ball and charged up, and other times when we're at the bottom. It's good to experience both. It's part of being human. This is very true! Just don't stay in this mode for a period of time. Nothing healthy can come out of it.
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