Disenchantedly Yours Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 What is the different between guys that give their numbers to a woman vs guys that ask for your number? Discuss! Or is there no difference? Do guys sometimes ask for numbers and other times give depending on the situation?
counterman Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I always ask for a girl's number, if I'm interested in her. Why? Because, if I change my mind, I can not call her and I prefer to take the initiative and lead. The only time I offer my number to a girl is when she says she says she has a boyfriend. So far none have called me
madjac74 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I'd offer a girl my number because it shows interest without seeming demanding. Besides girls are used to being asked for their number and often ready to give a false one
madjac74 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Men hate to lose face by being rejected. By giving away their number they avoid having to make the call. I believe this probably screens the good women out. The ones that call back the guy are probably the desperate ones. Or maybe she just liked him. So a woman is desperate if she meets a guy and they have a great time...he offers her his number and she calls him. But the reverse is not true? Double standard much?
madjac74 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Men chase Women flirt and give positive signals. It works! Avoid overtly aggressive women. Why eliminate the women who know what they want? They are usually the ones who have their **** together. Could confidence be confused as overtly aggressive?
Snakechammah Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I would prefer the men to ask for my number. If he calls me, he's interested. If he doesn't, I will forget about it the next day! If he gives me his number, chances are, nothing will ever happen. 2
madjac74 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 (edited) I would prefer the men to ask for my number. If he calls me, he's interested. If he doesn't, I will forget about it the next day! If he gives me his number, chances are, nothing will ever happen. Well that makes little sense. Is there no regard for whether you liked him or not? Edited July 27, 2012 by madjac74 grammatical error
Emilia Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I never ask for a guy's number nor do I call when he gives me his - though that only happened to me once or twice. He usually asks for my number. My job is to show interest and encourage him, his job is to do something with that interest. 2
madjac74 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I never ask for a guy's number nor do I call when he gives me his - though that only happened to me once or twice. He usually asks for my number. My job is to show interest and encourage him, his job is to do something with that interest. Oh geesh! So it's the guy's job now? So much for women's lib huh?
RedRobin Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I've done it both ways... given my number and been given a number. I have no problem initiating, but I found it doesn't produce the best outcome. Guys really do assume you are desperate or easy. Since I'm not (just confident and know what I want) it does tend to send mixed signals... in other words... awkwardness early on... which destroys romance. So, here is what I do... If a guy offers his number and I like him... I will accept it, then provide mine... and then just wait to see if he calls me. If he does, great. If not, then I know he really wasn't all that interested. If a guy asks me for my number and I like him, I give it to him. If a guy asks for my number, and I'm not interested in him... I smile pleasantly and say, "I'm sorry, I don't tend to give my number to strangers. But thank you very much"... If I just need more time to get to know the guy, and I'm at a place I frequent... I may follow up and say... "but I come here fairly often. Maybe I'll see you again sometime" That leaves the door open for more communication, without giving more details. I don't offer my number unsolicited anymore... unless I have legitimate business to do with the gentleman or some other non-romantic interest. 1
Emilia Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Oh geesh! So it's the guy's job now? So much for women's lib huh? Yes it is a guy's job. I initiate conversations with men I like the look of, I talk to them, create opportunities to talk to them, etc. It's their job to show me they have grown a pair.
madjac74 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Yes it is a guy's job. I initiate conversations with men I like the look of, I talk to them, create opportunities to talk to them, etc. It's their job to show me they have grown a pair. And offering you their number isn't "growing a pair"? I suppose they can ask for your number. That's how many guys keep score
Snakechammah Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Well that makes little sense. Is there no regard for whether you liked him or not? As ridiculous as it may sound, I will only like a guy if he likes me FIRST. No matter how much I find him attractive, if he is not into me, the so-called attraction fizzles in a nanosecond. It is how it is. I have options. He no like me, I no like him. Heh
Emilia Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 And offering you their number isn't "growing a pair"? I suppose they can ask for your number. That's how many guys keep score No, it's lame. I won't even take his number when he has mine and wants to swap. If he wants to talk to me, he can dial my digits.
tman666 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 It's been a while since I've been on a date (been in a relationship for 4.5 years), but I always asked for numbers (or to put it more accurately-commanded for numbers - "hey, giver me your number" ). That said, I don't see anything "wrong" with giving your number to a girl. If she's real concerned one way or the other about the transaction, she's probably not someone I'm interested in anyway.
jakelongot Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 If you are a guy, you need to be asking for numbers. If you are relying on a girl to call you back after you drop your number, don't hold your breath. It's actually much easier that way. I would rather be aggressive than waiting for a girl to call. I also work in sales and it works this way too. Very rarely will someone call you if you leave them your business card. You need to be following up with them. 1
FitChick Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Men often give their numbers to make women feel safer and respect their privacy. If I really like the guy and he doesn't give off a stalker vibe, I will give him my number and tell him to call me at home. I don't give my cell phone number because I don't want texts and half the time I never have it with me.
musemaj11 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I don't offer women my number. Usually they ask for my number and if I like them I give it to them. I guess you need to be aggressive if you are not that attractive of a guy. If a woman is really infatuated by you they WILL pursue you. But there are women who are very shy and when it comes to such women, I will ask for their number first if I have strong feeling that they are really into me but just very shy.
Pyro Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 What is the different between guys that give their numbers to a woman vs guys that ask for your number? Discuss! Or is there no difference? Do guys sometimes ask for numbers and other times give depending on the situation? For me I never saw a difference. When it got to the point of setting up a date it varied for me. Sometimes I got her number and vice versa. I never knew there was an epidemic about who is suppose to give out their number between the man and the woman.
fishtaco Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I always go for getting their number. It's more forward and aggressive, and it shows confidence. Plus I'm in control. I can call or not call. If she wouldn't have it, then I may just give her my number, sometimes they'll ask for it as a nice version of not interested. So I pretty much rank that the same as bombing out. I wouldn't expect a woman to call me when she wouldn't even give me her number. Especially considering women give out numbers like candy on Halloween. It means nothing. So if she wouldn't even do something so casual, really you can't expect anything. Here's a trick I don't do, it smells of creep x100. But maybe you ladies can learn from this. Guy tries to get woman's number, woman says, why don't you give me your number instead. Guy goes ok, give me your phone, I'll type it in. Then as soon as the guy types it in, he pushes call. Then bam! He gets her number. I don't see the point. If the woman has a shield on, for any reason, I lose my interest. I don't care if it's because she's nervous but secretly interested. If I get the shield, I'm out. Plenty of other women around that won't have the shield raised against me. I don't see the purpose of getting a woman's number when she's not willing.
USMCHokie Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I usually make it so painfully awkward and/or frustrating for them by skirting around the issue that they have to ask me if I want their number...
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 As ridiculous as it may sound, I will only like a guy if he likes me FIRST. No matter how much I find him attractive, if he is not into me, the so-called attraction fizzles in a nanosecond. It is how it is. I have options. He no like me, I no like him. Heh That's how I operate too! A guy really liking me a lot is a HUGE turn on and will increase my feelings for him. 1
joystickd Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I give my number because I made the effort to step to you and as a woman you now have to show you are interested. I showed my interest by going to you and initiating conversation because if I wasn't interested I wouldn't even talk to you. Also when I had trouble with dating I asked for numbers and often got a number but it wasn't her number.
ascendotum Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Oops, I just saw the above. ES, this is something I have seen many times in both men and women. The idea of being wanted is "turn on" despite of suboptimal qualities in whomever is doing the wanting. This often leads to troubled relationships. The wanting should be mutual, parallel, and synergistic. That is true chemistry! The issue is that there are some men and women that love to be liked. I have to admit I think that desire process a bit alien. Straight off, I don't think that way. A woman does not have to come on to me for me to find her desirable (beyond a ons). I also think its not ideal. Someone else threw in a sales analogy further up, and in this case to me its like...not choosing the product you really want or the one that suits you the best, but instead waiting for the salesman to approach and pitch his product and then deciding you like his product now especially since he says its what you need and you go for it. I can totally understand that its a good thing to want someone who wants you bad for the passion, but it just seems a little strange that the more someone wants to bone the woman the more desirable they become to the woman. It just seems like his (possible jerk/creep/dickhead) desires are effecting the outcome more rather than her intrinsic needs/desires/requirements....like you said Pierre
Snakechammah Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 It really isn't the case where we will like any Tom, Dick or Harry who is obsessed about us... lol... If the dude likes me, and on my end, I have sizzling chemistry with him, then BAM, it's a done deal. But if I have sizzling chemistry with a dude who don't give a rat's ass about my existence, then BAM, he's in the bin. You see the pattern, I have to like him too. That's the more important part. If he likes me, and I don't like him - well, he'll be friendzoned. It's like that.
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