blue_jay_bird Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I know everyone is going to think i'm crazy for thinking this. But do you sometimes feel that how you react to being dumped, will be judged by your ex and based on well you deal with it he will want or not want to come back.
steveblack Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 No. You need to concentrate on yourself, not trying to figure out if you pass or fail the test.
Chi townD Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Whether you handled your break up with dignity or you were a crying, slobbering bag of goo. One thing remains a constant....you still got dumped. It really doesn't matter. The dumper had already checked out of the relationship; they just forgot to tell you about it. 1
Hindsight_is_20_20 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Ya, I agree. Regardless of the way it ended, they were leaving. I don't really think whether they try to come back has much to do with how it ended. With that said, I do feel that how it ended is a reflection of what kind of relationship it was to begin with and that, in itself, might be more of an indicator of whether there would ever be a second chance between the two of you again.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I know everyone is going to think i'm crazy for thinking this. But do you sometimes feel that how you react to being dumped, will be judged by your ex and based on well you deal with it he will want or not want to come back. Once they decided they want nothing to do with you anymore, they dont care how you react. They just want you out of their hair. Actually from what Ive seen and done, the dumpers usually hope that you make the dumping easy on them so they dont have to worry about you bugging them afterwards. If they think they might want to go back, they should understand if they know you will be hysterical.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted July 27, 2012 Author Posted July 27, 2012 It really doesn't matter. The dumper had already checked out of the relationship; they just forgot to tell you about it. I have to keep reminding myself this.
Crila16 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 No. Absolutely not. They're breaking up with you because they don't want to be with you. End of story.
KatZee Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Absolutely not. And if by chance someone DOES pull this stunt as some sort of "test," do you truly want to be with someone who emotionally manipulates and emotionally tortures you for their own benefit? 1
Ruby65 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I can understand what you mean though OP. For me it's sometimes felt not so much as a test from the dumper, but more like an exercise in self-mastery for myself. Every time it's a challenge: CAN you stick to the NC....? CAN you get through a breakup without going psycho in some way? Drunk texting? Settling for being a platonic friend or FWB? Calling them in tears? Sending the long pleading emails..... so many hoops to go through to maintain your dignity.... I just thank god for sites like this where people can learn about going NC and support each other through it. 1
Author blue_jay_bird Posted July 27, 2012 Author Posted July 27, 2012 I can understand what you mean though OP. Every time it's a challenge: CAN you stick to the NC....? CAN you get through a breakup without going psycho in some way? Drunk texting? Settling for being a platonic friend or FWB? Calling them in tears? Sending the long pleading emails..... so many hoops to go through to maintain your dignity.... This is what i mean.
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