So overwhelmed right now

[Brokendude]

Im really stuggling with this rollercoaster. Been distracting myself and doin the right things but at the end of the day i fall flat on my face, im having such a hard time lettinggo no matter what my mind tells me my heart doesnt follow, when we broke up i didnt even open my mouth once and just turned my back on her, havent spoken to her since then (that was 2 weeks ago) ive been strong with no contact but lately im bogging down. Weve been together 2 years and ive accepted it hence i dont hope for her even coming back to me, i dont have family that supports me, i work, then go to school then go to the gym then straight home and this consumes me til wee hours in the morning, my chest is just so full of hurt and it wants to explode, and worst i

Goin thru this alone, i dont even kno what i want to happen by posting this but i guess this is my way of telling u guys that i need anything rt now, even just for u guys to say ur there, i just am so devastated and even worse i have no one to talk to

[Balzac]

Greetings and welcome to LS. Sorry to read about your pain and suffering.

I totally respect you for turning and walking, not playing games after the fact.

 

You're doing all the appropriate things. The grief takes time. This will get you past it and all you need now is to put yourself back out there.

 

Keep talking here, lots of fine, experienced folks.

[Crila16]

Well wait...why did you guys break up? What happened?

[Brokendude]

Ty balzac!! I appreciate the support!

[Brokendude]

Crila, she just said there was something missing And shes having doubts that were right together, this is the second time this month we broke up about these doubts so when she brought it up after we reconciled and i worked on the things she asked me to, i just got up and didnt even say a single word out of respect for myself, just didnt want to be a doormay and didnt want her to kno that she can come in and out of my life, i didnt want to tolerate her awful habits, when we reconciled i worked on the issues that i thought i needed to work on, and it just wasnt enough so i just left anf neer looked back

[Crila16]

Well...you haven't seen anything yet. Because you've now completely cut her off, she's going to want you back. Why? Because of her ego and the fact that she didn't effect you. It's human nature. Ego is a big part of why we hurt so much when we get rejected. Of course it's also because we love and miss the person...but ego. What we then usually end up doing is trying to figure out what we did wrong, putting the blame onto ourselves. It's easier, because then that would mean we actually had control over the situation. The reason you're going crazy right now, is because you're supressing and not venting to anyone. You probably haven't even screamed into your pillow yet (and it does help).

 

Now...when she does decide that she misses you and probably will want you back...that's when you're going to have total control over the situation. It's up to you to decide whether or not you want to get back onto the roller coaster, or whether or not you want to get off for good, mourn and move onto someone who is better suited for you.

 

BTW...eventually you will move on and be happy. It's inevitable. I know you can't see it now, because you have a fog over your head from the depression...but it does clear. Take it from someone who's been there...and been there more than once. I put up with a roller coaster for 6 years one time...only to find out in the end, I couldn't stand the guy and I ended up breaking his heart in the end.

 

I wish I could go back to my younger self and smack myself telling me to "wake up" and stop wasting my time on the wrong people who now mean absolutely nothing to me. I bet a lot of people wish they could do that actually.

[Brokendude]

Thanks crila, i think shes not coming back coz she already came back after the initial break up, she did however kept textin me thru all of it, all 2 weeks of it and i ignored her and she showed up at my house and worked things out and we communicated and then we said to each other what we needed to work on, i honestly really did everything i needed to work on, and 2 weeks later she had doubts again so i dodnt even bother this time to say a single word, this is the first time we havent really spoken or communicated ever but thats y i accepted its final hence i was in a fog coz ive been trying to accept tht shes moved on

[Crila16]

You're joking right? I'm probably a lot older than you and I recognize a pattern. A pattern has already been formed. That's why it's called a roller coaster. If you NC her, you will hear from her eventually and she'll want to "talk". Whatever.

 

Listen...you can come here to vent anytime. Some of the people on this site give a lot of great advice. You can just keep posting over and over whatever you're feeling. Breakups are like going through a death.

 

Distracting yourself and keeping yourself busy is a HUGE plus for you. You're going to miss her the most during the times when you're used to being with her or talking to her on the phone. Those are the REALLY tough times.

[k100danny]

I'm sorry you're hurting. I think you did the right thing, some people hold on too long and if these doubts came up more than once then walking away as hard as it was was probably the best thing to do in the long run.

 

There is really no quick fix apart from staying active and trying to keep occupied but you WILL have to go through the process as hard as it is. It is awful feeling you have nobody to talk to, I have a very limited number of friends that i would feel i could confide in and this does make it hard when a relationship ends. I do have a couple of really good female friends though who always listen when i need to talk which has helped me.

[Brokendude]

Thanks guys, much appreciated, i may be in a world of pain but i would never reach out to her, i still have a sense of self, to me i left without saying anything because i didnt want us to get back coz i sold myself, i didnt want to convince her, a big part of it too was shes jewish and i wasnt (part of the issues) and she couldnt get pass this, so i just respected it the first time and she came crawling back...so as soon as she doubted me again i had to respect myself and walked away, its just really painful...i have dont nothig but improve myself thru this whole ordeal tho

[k100danny]

Religious background is a HUGE difference in all honesty. People will shoot me down for saying this and for saying that people from other culture have a hard time making it work also.

 

The thing with religion is if you are very religious and from two different faiths how can you have a future? if you want children which faith will you expect them to follow? would you give up your faith for another?

 

as with cultural backgrounds not being great matches this is just because we tend to want similar things from our partner that we see in ourselves, how we grew up ect so this can make it very hard for people from very different backgrounds and cultures to work in the long term.

[Brokendude]

Danny i agree, thats y i walked away without a fight!

[Brokendude]

I wouldnt hold that against her, just honestlt dont think it was the deal breaker considering her sister just gave birth to a half christian baby and their mom divorced the dad for not accepting the christian brother in law, she assured me it wasnt the religion , it was part of it and i do believe her, the doubts are from our our compatibility and where we r in life she started her career and i still am in school til next year. Again i think people r in love sort thins out together and not reak up everytime things get tough, thats y to me id rather be alone if those doubts r there, she came back and thought we were over it but i guess not

[Brokendude]

And if god forbid it was religion, i should be more upset coz i was led on for 2 years