2muchlove Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 My thoughts are everywhere so I apologize in advance for any confusion if there is any. I felt like things have been coming to a close since I've been doing the whole "Out of sight, out of mind" thing. I flew across the country for 10 days to get out of the apt we once shared. I actually managed to take my mind off of her for more than a few seconds. I haven't cried in two days. I've been able to have fun with others. The hole in my chest seemed to be filling back up. These may seem small, but they are huge leaps. But, I made the mistake of drinking too much last night. I thought I was ready. But this morning gave me a cold slap in the face with memories and thoughts I was convinced were a thing of the past. Not to mention when I get back, I'm worried about walking back into the apt. Walking through town. She was pure evil to me towards the end of our relationship. She gave me nothing but cold responses disguised poorly as warm ones. Her actions were devastating to my self esteem. She turned on me as if I were a monster. The intensity of our relationship was unparalleled, in a good/sometimes bad, but exciting way. I loved how crazy she was. I'm not sure if anybody has the answer but maybe some insight... I strongly wish to extinguish these thoughts and feelings for someone undeserving. Especially when I know I wouldn't want to reconcile. I've been sitting on a text I was thinking about sending her, these past few days. Gave it the 48 hour rule. And still believe in it. It states how I know I could have done things differently but she didn't have clean hands in this and what she did was disgusting, and disrespectful and I didn't deserve it. Also how I lost all respect for her. Thing is. My birthday is a week from today and I have a feeling she's going to text me so I don't know if I should wait, or even send it at all. I keep going back and forth. I'd rather just be over it. 1 yr relationship. 1.5 month post break. 2.5 weeks solidified break up. 2 weeks NC. Why do I still have her on my mind so much? Why do I let her take control of my life after the death of our relationship? I need some help guys and gals.
Jason02 Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Its normal to feel like this. Its a cycle, and you'll keep going over and over again until one day you've had enough. That's only when you'll stop worry about the relationship and start working on you. Don't send the text, it'll only make her feel like she still has you. and when she doesn't respond, you'll be even more devistated. Don't set yourself up to fail.
Author 2muchlove Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Its normal to feel like this. Its a cycle, and you'll keep going over and over again until one day you've had enough. That's only when you'll stop worry about the relationship and start working on you. Don't send the text, it'll only make her feel like she still has you. and when she doesn't respond, you'll be even more devistated. Don't set yourself up to fail. I appreciate that, I was starting to think something was wrong with me. As for the text I honestly don't even want a response. I just want her to know how terrible of a person she is. I know that sounds childish, but...
blotter Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 2 weeks of NC = 2 weeks of really being in the break up. Therefore 2 weeks of being broken up is really barely anytime out of the relationship. You are going to have to give it more time to work through this, again 2 weeks is nothing in the scheme of things. Give it 2 months at least to start feeling better.
Jason02 Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 it's a normal thing. your not odd man out. if anything, you would be a psycopathic if you didn't feel anything right now. I would agree with blotter though. since you have only been 2 weeks of NC. its really only has been 2 weeks of being broken up. So you way in the early stages of the cycle. but stick with NC and you'll feel much better in a month. send the text and your back to day one, square one.
Zammo25 Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 NEVER send an e mail telling the ex how bad they are. NEVER. Move on with good grace. If anything send an e mail telling them what great things they brought to your life. If you have to send an e mail or letter at all. Take the higher moral ground. I did this and do not regret it for a second as one day she may realise that I was infact a decent bloke to her. That is irrelevant however as it is over but you can then sleep better knowing you said what you had to and remembered the great times as after all if there were not great times and cared deeply for them we would not be on here would we ?
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