Crila16 Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I guess I just need to vent about this. I probably already know the answer, but I’mfeeling so sad right now. Anyway, met this guy online. I had never done it before, but gave it a try, because my friends saidit was fun. I’m super picky and neverthought I would ever meet someone right out of the gate. Afterall, it has been 6 years since I feltany little tingle for any other guy. First date, awesome. So much fun. Seconddate...awesome, so much fun. Third date,equally awesome had so much fun. Thiswas all within 8 days. 3 dates. I haven’t sleep with him, but man...was isthere a huge spark. The kissing wasabsolutely amazing for both of us. Hetold me he was looking for marriage (he’s been divorced 6 yrs with 1 child),and wanted to make sure we were on the same page if we were going to pursuethis. We were of course. Then after only 2 weeks of dating...the house he was buyingwent through and he was able to move in immediately. He was SOOOOO excited. Ever since, He’ll make plans for a date withme, and the day of the date, cancelling at the last minute or forgets tocontact me. He’s painting, he has peoplecoming over for work estimates, his family is there, etc. I finally had had enough after 2 blow offs,that I just ignored his txts. He calledand begged me to forgive him, that he was so caught up in the house and wasexhausted going back and forth to home depot. He said “Hell or highwater, I will be there tomorrow. I promise. I’m crazy about you.” He didcome, and we had another amazing date...until he mentioned that he’s stillfriends with an ex. A couple of dayslater, I called and confronted him, telling him I’m not getting involved withyou if the ex is still around. I had abad experience and I don’t want to get hurt. He got so upset that I was breaking it off (his voice was shaking), forthe most ridiculous reason and explained there was absolutely nothing withher. No spark, no attraction...she wasjust a rebound from years before when he and his wife split. He said he shouldhave explained it better. Then he toldme to stop sabotaging a good thing, and that we have a good thing starting. That he really liked me and I needed tostop...that he was a mature man who just bought a house and wanted thisrelationship to work because there was something there that it could beawesome. Then he told me to have a goodvacay (I was going away) and he’d txt while I was away...and then he made plansfor this past Tuesday for me to come over to his new house and help himpaint. He txt over the wkend and things seemed good. He txt’d methe night I got home to see how my vacay was. I txt’d him Tuesday morning and asked what the plan for me paintingwas. He ignored it and I said to keep meposted. He then responded with he hadpeople coming over to help him with the house and he’d call me in the afternoonand we’d see each other that night. Thenearly evening he txt’d that his family was still there and he’d call me afterthey left. 11pm, he txt and said theywere leaving and he was exhausted, he’d call me the next day (Wed) and he hopedhe didn’t wake me. I didn’t respond,because it was late and I also felt like he owed me a phone call. I haven’t heard from him since and it’s Thursday. What gives? I tried to walk away twice and made it easy for him if he wasn’t thatinterested, but he says he doesn’t want to lose me and that’s when he trieshard. His actions though, are not theactions of a man that wants me around. Is this really just a house thing or is the guy just not that into meand he’s been lying?
Eddie Edirol Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I'd think if he was that into you he would have offered for you to help him paint sooner. But heres the thing. I know from getting burned before, that if I let you help me paint my house, and the relationship didnt work out, the paint is a constant reminder of you that I didnt want. So he should have gone out with you more often. He might think this way after divorcing his wife. But I am also in the process of looking for a house, so if I finally got one and started working on it, I'd be so tunnel visioned and obsessed with it that I couldnt see anything else until the house is done. It makes sense to me that he'd blow you off for this because you and him dont even have an established relationship yet. He seems to not be able to manage his time. I think for your sake, break it off with him for now until he can get himself together. Depending on how much work he has to do, this will keep happening. Youre right, his actions dont match his words, so he could be lying.
Author Crila16 Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Thanks Eddie. It's good to get a guy's opinion. I know he's throwing a bday party for his daughter in 2 weeks at his new house, and wants it to be ready. When I tried to end it with him the first time, cause I felt ignored and blown off...he called me confused. He was genuinely confused that I thought he wasn't interested. He thought things were really going great. I said "Cause you've blown me off twice. That's not a guy that's interested in a girl." He said, but our dates are awesome, and I txt you all the time. Whenever you've txt me, I always txt back right away. Then when I tried to end it on Wed, he was so genuinely upset on the phone. He again reassured me how much he liked me and that I was sabotaging a good thing and not to do that. Then he blows me off on Tuesday? WTF? No consideration and I haven't gotten a call from him since...and I never responded to his last txt. For all he knows, I never got it. I know he has off all this week. He's already told me how much work needs to be done and how the house has been overwhelming him and then with the planning of his daughters bday. Yes he's txt'd, but I haven't seen him in over a week, and he hasn't contacted me to make sure we're ok. I'm just going to go away. I'm not going to txt or yell at him or anything. Maybe once the dust has settled, he'll realize what he lost. All I know is I have a decent job, I have an awesome apartment, I have a car, I have lots of friends, I have a great sense of humor (which he loves) and I'm way hotter than he is. It was just the moment we saw each other, we couldn't stop kissing and holding hands and each date has lasted more than 6 hours. I know...I gotta let this go. It just hurts cause I really thought this was going somewhere.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I'm just going to go away. I'm not going to txt or yell at him or anything. Maybe once the dust has settled, he'll realize what he lost. All I know is I have a decent job, I have an awesome apartment, I have a car, I have lots of friends, I have a great sense of humor (which he loves) and I'm way hotter than he is. It was just the moment we saw each other, we couldn't stop kissing and holding hands and each date has lasted more than 6 hours. I know...I gotta let this go. It just hurts cause I really thought this was going somewhere. Why are you settling for him if youre way hotter than he is?
Recommended Posts