Tyler. Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Hey this is my first thread here, and i've been trying to cope with a BU. Me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago after nearly two years of dating. While we were dating we broke up several times, and got back together in 1or 2 days. We used to fight a lot, but mostly because of her immature nature and my temper. On February she went behind my back and opened a secret facebook account. When i discovered this she said it was just for games, but there were photos and posts all over her page. I realised i didn't know most of her friends(her male friends). Well 1 week after breaking up she came begging and crying and begged me for hours to get back together, which we did. She promised everything would be better this time. We got back togetger but after a couple of weeks she said we should take a break. Like if it was that easy why did she beg me to get back together, right? I do still love the person she was, but she changed. I can't trust her anymore. I really loved that girl and i've been moping for 2 months now, getting better. But last night she sent me a text saying: Everyone has a first love, an unforgettable one. A part of you never wants to forget that person. Thank you for making me feel so loved. I'll never forget you. This is my last text to you, i won't bother you anymore. Just wanted you to know how i feel. Take care and never stop smiling. Farewell I didn't know what to think because we didn't break up on the best terms. She called me all sorts of things, and blamed me for a lot( i never betrayed her trust, cheated or LIED to her ). She was very mean and disrespectful during the BU while i was still acting nice to her (Like wishing her a happy life, so on)Why is she saying these nice things in the text then, if she really thinks so badly of me? I don't know after this text, the emotions resurfaced and i had to ask you guys. How can i move on and stop loving her? This forum helped me a lot, just by reading your stories i've felt inspired and stronger. Thank you all.
Ponzzz Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I understand how you may be feeling. I actually just made a post about what I sent my ex today if you want to read it . Trust is also a big issue in us trying to revert to a friendship. For me, this is our second breakup. You really get that sense of betrayal and being fooled, in my case she got another boyfriend in just 3 weeks and is surprised that I don't want to be her friend right now. If I were her I think I would feel better if you said something that at least acknowledged that you read it, but that's just my opinion. I hope you can find a woman that can rock your world and can appreciate all of the things that you do for her someday.
not-a-drive-by Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I don't know why, but I feel angry at her for sending that text. To me, it feels like a tease. Maybe after a while, I might be able to digest a text like that from an ex and appreciate it. But if I was still trying to cope with the BU, a text like that would send me back to square one. But I guess she took the first step to cut contact with you. It is her last text, and "won't bother you anymore". Continue with the no contact and stop loving her? I am trying to figure out that myself too .
SuperGeek Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 Being that I have personally been in this situation, I would: 1) Under no circumstances reply to her at all 2) Get an app for your phone that blocks texts from her number 3) Delete all emails/phone numbers/texts/and facebook assoications with her 4) Move on and DO NOT contact her at all. You mentioned you don't trust her. Once there is no trust, there is no point in continuing any conversations with her. Time to date someone new. She shouldn't have sent you that text at all - she's trying to absolve her guilt. Do not help her feel better. SuperGeek
Author Tyler. Posted July 28, 2012 Author Posted July 28, 2012 I don't know why, but I feel angry at her for sending that text. To me, it feels like a tease. Maybe after a while, I might be able to digest a text like that from an ex and appreciate it. But if I was still trying to cope with the BU, a text like that would send me back to square one. But I guess she took the first step to cut contact with you. It is her last text, and "won't bother you anymore". Continue with the no contact and stop loving her? I am trying to figure out that myself too . Thanks for your answer but i am the one who started NC. After all i've put into this relationship and receiving little from her, i just didn't see any reason for me to pursue anything. If she wanted to work things out and take responsibility for her actions, she could have. And she could have texted or called and said these. She called and texted, but usually for falsely accusing me. So if she had anything nice to say to me, she could have . But other than that, i didn't see any reason to contact her. Its because of this that she was pissed and said i was a liar etc.. SuperGeek thanks for your reply, i've been keeping NC for a while now, but still thinking of her. I've done those things you've said, and i would advise them to people in the same situation. I agree with you, she's probably just trying to clear her conscience. Although i'm seeing progress, i still don't know what to do if she dates somebody else. Everyone tells me(even before breaking up) i deserve a better person. But after loving her for 2 years, and this being my only serious relationship, i don't know how to cope. I've been with a lot of women, but i've never tried to get to know them like i've with this girl. She wasn't the best person i've met, i just got used to her you know. It's this habit of her being in my life that i'm having the most trouble with. I know it'll pass but it's making my life miserable at this point. Thx to everyone for replying, you are very helpfull.
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