jlow033 Posted July 10, 2004 Posted July 10, 2004 Me and my boyfriend have bee together for 51/2 years. We stared datin our sophmore year in high school and now we are about to graduate from the same college. I love him with all my heart and i truly feel like he is the one for me. He has had some trust issues b/c of a guy that used to like me. There was never anything b/t us but some people made up things abou tme b/c they didnt like me and we worked through that...however this guy started dating my best friend and we were at her house for a party and they took a picture of me and him and i never thought anything about it...well a long time ago when he did have feelings for me he sent me a card tellimg me he loved me...i was scared and didnt know what to do i wanted my boyfriend to know but i was worried he wouldnt believe me so i just put it somewhere so he couldnt find it...well the other day he did find that and the picture...i tried to explain to him why i hid it but he wont believe me...he tells me that he cant trust me...what do i do? i know i should have told him but i was scared...the other dai went and sent him my phone records to prove to him that i have npt been talking to him...how do i get him back or what i should i do to show him that i am sorry and that he is the only one for me??
jw32802 Posted July 10, 2004 Posted July 10, 2004 What i would do is this Send him a letter saying everything you feel, telling him the whole truth and everything. Then tell him that you will leave him alone and that it is up to him if he wants to believe you or not, but say it nicely.......then dont contact him. this will make him come to you, might take some time but i bet he will
Author jlow033 Posted July 10, 2004 Author Posted July 10, 2004 I emailed him telling him how sorry that I am and telling him why i didnt tell him abour it....and then i emailed him phone records from Feb.2 til now....i told him that i love you and i would do anything for him and that i want to work this out...and i know that i messed up...we talked briefly on the phone yesterday and he told me that he is too mad to talk about it now and that he will call me when he is ready...i just miss him so much...i mean doesnt everyone at some point hide something so they dont make their loved one mad? thanks for the relpy and i am not going to call him!
jw32802 Posted July 10, 2004 Posted July 10, 2004 Yes, that is one thing i learned over the years and it really helped me in relationships actually. I used to flip out if i didnt get complete honesty but i learned that if you UNDERSTAND why someone lies and its a valid reason, i can forgive. It is hard, because you wonder what the person is lying about. did you ever want anything more with this other guy?
Author jlow033 Posted July 10, 2004 Author Posted July 10, 2004 No i mean me and him had always been good friends, we grew up together and i knew that he had feelings for me...i mean thats why he sent the card. But i know that deep down this one os for me...i wanted him to know about the card and picture but i was scared he would leave me...he is everything to me and although we have had some hard times the good times def. away them... we went to both proms together and college...there is just so much b/t us i just feel like if he cant let this go and work it out with me maybe its just not meant to be....i mean i am sure that he has more than likely hid something from me so that i wouldnt get upset...i just hope that he can find it in his heart to forgive me...
jw32802 Posted July 10, 2004 Posted July 10, 2004 Ok after you write him the letter, just back off. that should do it. Right now, he knows you are sorry and he knows you are feeling sorry for him that hes so upset, so he could be wanting you back but he's not forgiving you cuz he wants u to suffer some more, i think you should back off, i bet if you dont call for a week, he will call you; id be willing to bet money on that one.
jw32802 Posted July 10, 2004 Posted July 10, 2004 so ironic i just read this post about "lying by omission" and some guy or girl is doing research on it, heres the link http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t42820/
Author jlow033 Posted July 10, 2004 Author Posted July 10, 2004 I emailed him last night after we talked on the phone for like 5 mins...this all happened on Monday night and that was the first time that i talked to him....he told me to let him clam down and he will listen to what i have to say...i just hope he gives me another chance...he is in Greensboro and i am in Asheville so i cant see him....i just miss him and i know there is nothing left for me to do...
Author jlow033 Posted July 11, 2004 Author Posted July 11, 2004 well i talked to him again tonight and he told me that it doesn't matter what i do or say that he cannot trust me...he said that even if i did not cheat on him that he still needs some time and space...i just feel so alone...i have put so much into this relationship and he just gives up...we have so much history together and i love him with all my heart...i just don't know what to do...you cant make someone be with you if thats not what they want...someone tell me what to do and tell me how i can just pick up the pieces and move on...
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