Seeing more and more ranting in dating profiles

[irc333]

Cripes, you'd think these people were having the worst time in the world.

 

I had recently saw this dating profile of a woman, she rants on and on how she's had short men email her. Even in her HEADLINE she says, "SHORT MEN DON'T EMAIL ME!"

 

Talking about how men shouldn't do this, or shouldn't do that, sounded like I was getting scolded by my mom when I was a kid. LOL

 

She'd say things like, "If you enjoy Drama, there's the theater down the road you can sing up for!"

 

"Please, have updated pictures, no pictures more than 3 years old, bull crap if you said you hadn't changed in 3 years!!"

 

Why even be on the site, if you're just going to YELL at the men, do you honestly think men would even EMAIL her after reading all that? LOL

[Emilia]

I think I understand. I remember when I was on OLD and I would get an email from someone and before I was looking at his profile I'd cross my fingers and go 'please god don't let him to be a moron, please god don't let him to be a moron' and lo and behold more often than not he was a moron.

 

You get your hopes up when you get contacted by someone new only to have your hopes dashed 80% of the time. That's where it comes from

[irc333]

I think I understand. I remember when I was on OLD and I would get an email from someone and before I was looking at his profile I'd cross my fingers and go 'please god don't let him to be a moron, please god don't let him to be a moron' and lo and behold more often than not he was a moron.

 

You get your hopes up when you get contacted by someone new only to have your hopes dashed 80% of the time. That's where it comes from

 

Yeah, but....don't express it in your profile. Men get the impression that you're just bitter and negative.

[Emilia]

Sure and I didn't. I just gave up on the whole thing when I got tired of it. Those women are trying a different approach. I agree that it comes across negative, I never replied to sarcastic profiles

[Silly_Girl]

Sarky and smart-arse profiles are awful.

 

And the guys who say 'My wife cheated on me but my friends say it's time for me to get back out there'. Yum.

[curlygirl40]

This has always been something that makes me go hmmmm as well.

 

O.K, so sure, maybe now the short men of the world won't contact her due to her huge warning.

 

BUT the guys that she's actually hoping to attract are going to be so turned off by her that they won't be contacting her either.

 

She should just find her delete button.

[truth_seeker]

She sounds like a great catch. A woman who will never be happy, even if she gets the man she wants. Once a complainer, always a complainer.

 

I was on OLD and one woman had pictures I swear from High School. Her profile was a rant just like the woman the OP described. These women have some deep-rooted issues that no dream man can fix. Only a therapist, maybe.

[El Brujo]

Such people sound like they're looking to find a partner who's a masochist and will suck up all the abuse they can dish out.

 

Sadly, when I look into my crystal ball, I see these poor souls ending up in nursing homes in their old age, having to take the abuse that the nurses dish out... it breaks the heart. *sigh*

[irc333]

She sounds like a great catch. A woman who will never be happy, even if she gets the man she wants. Once a complainer, always a complainer.

 

I was on OLD and one woman had pictures I swear from High School. Her profile was a rant just like the woman the OP described. These women have some deep-rooted issues that no dream man can fix. Only a therapist, maybe.

 

Right, and she has a Master's degree, and she writes "your" as "ur" and "are" as "r" when she writes. lol

 

Such people sound like they're looking to find a partner who's a masochist and will suck up all the abuse they can dish out.

 

Right, some of these women are actually athletic, clean up nicely and are attractive, but when they open their mouths for too long, you feel like slitting your wrists. LOL If you've ever channel surfed and had watched a bit of "Real Housewives of Orange County"

 

Just think of them whenever that single ladies turns into a "Real Housewife".

[El Brujo]

Well, consider how these people were raised. Many of them grew up---physically---in the 80s, when parents had enough money to spoil their horny little stud sons and pampered little princess daughters. These kids learned that having a tantrum would bring their Fairy Godmother to give them whatever their little hearts desired (somehow they always ended up taking it for granted).

 

But things are different now... a partner is not like an expensive toy, because a partner will not let you play with him/her if he/she doesn't like the way you carry on. This is a total slap in the face to people of the "Gimme, I want" generation.

[irc333]

Some of these profiles, when you read them...it gives a "It's over before it's even STARTED" feeling to it.

 

Esp. with the "If I don't respond to you , please don't send me a repeat email me a week later, as if you haven't sent me one before"....if I didn't reply, it means I wasn't interested.

 

All these pre-emptive "If I don't reply, you have your response" right in the profile, just off-putting. Feel like I'm reading a return policy at a Best buy LOL

[oaks]

If the "don't mail me if..." list is more than just one or two things, politely stated, I find it a real turn off even if I seem to fit what she's looking for. So I don't bother.

 

I'd rather a profile state in positive terms what the other person is looking for.

[proseandpassion]

Argh, yes, I have noticed this on OLD, and from men, too. So it's not just women. There are a lot of bitter, sad souls to be found on OLD. Which is just sad... because some people genuinely want to find a partner. But these people are "anti-seducers" (read "The Art of Seduction" if you want more info on what an anti-seducer is... it's a great read overall).

 

A lot of the bitterness from men visible on OLD is directed toward women in general... specifically, "If you're looking to suck me dry of all my money, move on!" etc. or, "Women are only looking for someone who looks like a model." I ran across one profile wherein he referred to women several times as "bitches", had a photo that made him look like the white equivalent of Steve Urkel, and also said if a woman was even SLIGHTLY overweight it was a deal breaker. I went ahead and messaged him and told him he might want to revise his profile if he ever wants to find a girlfriend. No reply.

[Woggle]

Be glad they advertise who they really are.

[Lonely Ronin]

Nothing like a big "Crazy" stamp on their forehead.

 

Be glad they advertise who they really are.

[MrCastle]

This is what happens.

 

-Girl makes profile

-In "Message Me If" section, she writes something socially acceptable, like "if you can make me laugh, if you're smart, if you know how to treat a lady"

 

-Short man/unattractive man sees her profile

-Reads "message me if" section

-Thinks to himself "whoa! this chick is awesome! she's totally not shallow! i'm gonna message her!"

 

-Girl receives message upon message from short guys

-Thinks to herself "Arrgghh don't they get when I say I want a guy who can make me laugh, I mean a TALL guy who can make me laugh???"

-Edits profile out of frustration to be brutally honest

 

 

Believe me, that's nothing. I've seen girls write message me if "you have a light complexion" to the more blunt "if you're white. sorry, i'm not racist i just have preferences."

 

Some people are tired of getting messages from people that aren't their physical type so they figure they have nothing to lose by being totally unabashed and upfront.

[irc333]

Believe me, that's nothing. I've seen girls write message me if "you have a light complexion" to the more blunt "if you're white. sorry, i'm not racist i just have preferences."

 

Right...I've actually seen white woman say, "I only date black men" , I'm not into white guys." Quite odd when someone won't date a member of their own race.

[irc333]

I recall an article somewhere...I think it was in regards to a matchmaking service for lunch dates.

 

There was this frustrated single woman, attractive obviously, but of the elitist variety. The matchmaker was trying to do his best to get her a match. He saw how she had this silly long list of criteria.

 

BUT he decided to get as CLOSEST as he could to her criteria. Apparently, he found a guy that was shorter than what she required, but had everything else she was looking for.

 

He had a "sit down" session with her, and he said, "Listen, I think I found someone for you, now he's not quite the height you're looking for, but he seems to be a great guy."

 

She argued with him, said "No way Jose", and the matchmaker laid it all out on the line for her.

 

"Listen, if you're never going to meet anyone with such stringent criteria, it's either this or nothing."

 

She grabbed her purse and left.

 

 

Argh, yes, I have noticed this on OLD, and from men, too. So it's not just women. There are a lot of bitter, sad souls to be found on OLD. Which is just sad... because some people genuinely want to find a partner. But these people are "anti-seducers" (read "The Art of Seduction" if you want more info on what an anti-seducer is... it's a great read overall).

 

A lot of the bitterness from men visible on OLD is directed toward women in general... specifically, "If you're looking to suck me dry of all my money, move on!" etc. or, "Women are only looking for someone who looks like a model." I ran across one profile wherein he referred to women several times as "bitches", had a photo that made him look like the white equivalent of Steve Urkel, and also said if a woman was even SLIGHTLY overweight it was a deal breaker. I went ahead and messaged him and told him he might want to revise his profile if he ever wants to find a girlfriend. No reply.

[USMCHokie]

Quite odd when someone won't date a member of their own race.

 

For some races, it's odd when a woman would date a member of her own race...

[irc333]

For some races, it's odd when a woman would date a member of her own race...

 

What races are you referring to? I've never heard of a race that found dating their own race to be unusual. I doubt that's even true.

[MrCastle]

What races are you referring to? I've never heard of a race that found dating their own race to be unusual. I doubt that's even true.

 

I think he's referring to the asians who only date/mostly date white men scenario.

 

Some people believe stereotypes of their own race, sadly. I once met a latina woman who said she only dates whites because hispanics "are too ghetto".

 

That was before she met this guy

[carhill]

I recall personally seeing a LS'er write up an ostensibly sarcastic and even offensive (to men) profile on a dating site (not one of the big ones, and expensive), and viewing her inbox at one point, peering over her shoulder, seeing a whole page of responses. She said over 100 and I believed her.

 

My takeaway from this is the men simply looked at her pictures (she's quite attractive) and didn't read or care about the rest and simply sent her a message.

 

Myself, I'd never respond to such profiles, regardless of the woman's appearance, but perhaps that's outlier behavior. For some, perhaps many, men, the thrill of the challenge, especially if the visual image is compelling, supersedes any sensibilities about the psychology and/or intent behind the rants. Perhaps it's all window-dressing. Maybe that's why, even after years of success, I don't participate in OLD any longer.

[irc333]

I recall personally seeing a LS'er write up an ostensibly sarcastic and even offensive (to men) profile on a dating site (not one of the big ones, and expensive), and viewing her inbox at one point, peering over her shoulder, seeing a whole page of responses. She said over 100 and I believed her.

 

My takeaway from this is the men simply looked at her pictures (she's quite attractive) and didn't read or care about the rest and simply sent her a message.

 

Myself, I'd never respond to such profiles, regardless of the woman's appearance, but perhaps that's outlier behavior. For some, perhaps many, men, the thrill of the challenge, especially if the visual image is compelling, supersedes any sensibilities about the psychology and/or intent behind the rants. Perhaps it's all window-dressing. Maybe that's why, even after years of success, I don't participate in OLD any longer.

 

You've had years of success with women? I thought I recall you posting the contrary. LOL

 

Anyhow....there are some women's profiles that are tradictionally "stock" profiles.....very much the same rhetoric "I like long walks on the beach, my friends and family consider me....blah blah blah blah....I love to laugh and meet new people."

 

So, if THOSE stock profiles get emails from men, those men are less likely to be frustrated.

 

So after about emailing the 9th women with said , generic profile.....they get to the 10th profile....that has a uniqueness to ITS "write-up".....but they send the same stock email they've been sending to female generic profiles...just out of force of habit.

 

Of course, if you're going to post pics of yourself in a nightclub venue in the "Little Black Dress" holding a wine glass and a great smile....and a few "posed" bikini pics out by a resort spa/pool....the rest might just get overlooked.

 

Once I sent an email to a woman who had such rants in her profile...part of the rant was her not wanting date "short" guys

 

She had THAT in her heading.. ....she was 5'7", I am 5'8"...so I am technically taller. LOL

 

Anyhow, after I gave her a personal critique...she replied back and told me...."Well, I'm just tellin' it like it is, if you can't relate, then that's your problem."

 

Then she sent a follow email and said, "Oh, by the way,....you're short! LOL"

 

This is coming from a grown woman in her late 30's. With a Master's degree. It sounded more like she was just on the site to ridicule men as opposed to DATE them.

[carhill]

You've had years of success with women?

 

Confined to OLD, prior to being married, yes. Lots of dates, two of my three LTR's, and a M. Success I define as a locally positive outcome from the OLD process. It was a different world back then. Most of the <negative> stuff guys on LS post about now wasn't even visible or a factor. If anything, one had to be careful of the opposite; sharks appearing as friendly and loving.

[El Brujo]

What races are you referring to? I've never heard of a race that found dating their own race to be unusual. I doubt that's even true.

 

Not a whole race, but a lot of members thereof.

 

My best buddy is Mexican and refuses to date Hispanic women... I've met at least one white guy who dates black women but can't stand white women. Go figure.