Tricky situation. I decided to take a "break" now I want him back.

[snowflake87]

I was on a LDR with a guy for about 10 months, things were going well except that I didn't handle distance pretty well. When he left we agreed, on both terms, to keep dating and see where this all went, we also agreed to be exclusive and if one of us met someone else this would be it.

 

Things were progressing great, we were closer everytime we visited, he called me more often than before, and I was starting to fall in love with him. It was not my imagination that he shared more with me, and that he said things that made me believe that he was feeling something more for me too.

 

I have no idea how, we got into a conversation and he said that he was not sure about this, though he likes me more everyday, he doesn't know if we have a future as a couple. It was devastating for me to hear it, maybe he put it in a way that sounded worse than what he really meant, but in my mind we were dating and just getting to know each other, but if he doesn't see a future then what is the point. He said that nothing has changed and he wants to keep seeing me as usual, but it was a bummer to hear that.

 

I'm on vacation now and he is as well, we will have NC for 3 weeks (not because we agreed on that but because of the circumstances of our trips) and I told him I need time to think about it. The truth is that I really like him and who knows, maybe he changes his mind, maybe I change my mind, only God knows, but I want to really give it a try. The thing is that I don't want to seem that i'm settling for less than what i want and to seem needy and clingy and if there is something i can do to win his "love".

 

PS: I am 100% sure he is not seeing someone else, and that there is no other woman in the offing that made him become "not sure" all of a sudden.

[Dblock10]

i personally wouldn't be happy being in a LDR growing more attached to the person and for there to be a deal that if we meet someone else then thats it.

 

what kind of life is that.. sounds ridiculous. sorry to say it but he is on holiday.. you are on holiday..

 

do you know how much guys hook up whilst away. i have close friends who would play away from home even if they were with someone.

 

im not saying i think thats right, i am not like that, but i consider myself to be a rare breed. from being a lad and what i see on a regular basis boys will be boys

[snowflake87]

i personally wouldn't be happy being in a LDR growing more attached to the person and for there to be a deal that if we meet someone else then thats it.

 

what kind of life is that.. sounds ridiculous. sorry to say it but he is on holiday.. you are on holiday..

 

do you know how much guys hook up whilst away. i have close friends who would play away from home even if they were with someone.

 

im not saying i think thats right, i am not like that, but i consider myself to be a rare breed. from being a lad and what i see on a regular basis boys will be boys

 

He is hiking in a very remote area with his parents and family, I doubt he will hook up with anyone there, and so am I, I am at my parents house and the only people I will meet is them and my friends from my childhood. Chances of hooking up for both of us are below zero. It sounds like an excuse but I am 100% sure about this, and this is not my concern right now.

 

The deal that we can meet someone else was mutually agreed, not that we will actively try to meet someone else or date at the same time, but that can happen even to the most commited couple. I am not dating anyone, nor willing to, and neither is him. Once again, that is not my concern either, my worry, or what I was looking advice about is that if it looks needy or clingy to try to give it a shot and to keep dating as we did even though he has said that and I decided to take a break to figure things out.

 

And even though we are (or we were) on a LDR, it was not that big of a distance, barely a couple of hours by train.

[Ruby65]

How often do you see each other?

 

Do you have a plan to be together in the future?

 

I think a LDR can work, but only for a set period of time, with an end in sight. Have you guys made a plan so eventually you'll be living closer to each other?

 

I don't think it looks needy or clingy to want to give this a shot. Are you worried about contacting him first?

[goodbyesunshine]

I think your relationship still sounds hopeful. If you already know very clearly all the pros and cons of continuing this relationship, and you think its worth a shot, then why not? it's not like any of you realised you are incompatible or anything like that. I'd say go for it, but pick your words carefully so you don't scare him off

[snowflake87]

How often do you see each other?

 

Do you have a plan to be together in the future?

 

I think a LDR can work, but only for a set period of time, with an end in sight. Have you guys made a plan so eventually you'll be living closer to each other?

 

I don't think it looks needy or clingy to want to give this a shot. Are you worried about contacting him first?

 

We see each other every 2 weeks, and everytime we visit we spend around a week together. Except now in the summer that we have been spending two weeks together every visit.

 

Plans to relocate in the future are quite vague, I am living in a country that is not my own and I have less chances to be "picky" when it comes to choosing a place to live. But he recently had the oportunity to accept a transfer to another city which is really far away from where I live and he asked me what I thought about that. I tried to advise him objectively and I said that he had to think if it would be a good opportunity professionally, etc., but I also told him that it would really make me very sad that he moves that far away. Later on he told me that if moving closer to me would make me happier, and he started looking for jobs in my city or nearby.

 

And yes, we are both on holidays now, I come back after him and he knows the day Im coming back, but I dont know if I should wait until he contacts me or what. I dont want to arrive and just text him and scream "hello, im here readily available, do with me whatever you want"