Knowing is enough

[Robert Z]

I've complained about my ex and women enough so now here's one on me. Probably my greatest social flaw was the need to convey "the truth" to everyone. Be it politics, current events, scientific knowledge, or any of various subjects that I typically followed, I was generally better informed than most and always felt the need to set things straight when people say something that isn't correct. It took me forever to figure out that people often believe what they want more than where the facts might lead. It is human nature and typical, I discovered, eventually. So, okay, sometimes I'm not so quick!

 

As I began to explore this new road of intellectual tolerance and abandoned the need to always be correct, I discovered something wonderful. It doesn't matter if I'm spending time with one of my hired friends, women at night clubs, or women I interact with in the course of my daily routine, I find myself fascinated by what people believe. One girl that I met recently was telling me all about government conspiracies, secret scientific knowledge, world domination scenarios, the illuminati, and on and on... stuff that I know mostly to be bull. But she gets so excited and enthusiastic when she talks about all of this that I find her to be absolutely charming. A lot of it is just her youth and fast-running mind. She isn't dumb by any means, just too quick to believe. But what a joy it is to allow her to explore her beliefs and just be silent.

 

How does this apply to dating? Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It would have served me well long ago to stop being a Martian.

[sid3]

I've complained about my ex and women enough so now here's one on me. Probably my greatest social flaw was the need to convey "the truth" to everyone. Be it politics, current events, scientific knowledge, or any of various subjects that I typically followed, I was generally better informed than most and always felt the need to set things straight when people say something that isn't correct. It took me forever to figure out that people often believe what they want more than where the facts might lead. It is human nature and typical, I discovered, eventually. So, okay, sometimes I'm not so quick!

 

As I began to explore this new road of intellectual tolerance and abandoned the need to always be correct, I discovered something wonderful. It doesn't matter if I'm spending time with one of my hired friends, women at night clubs, or women I interact with in the course of my daily routine, I find myself fascinated by what people believe. One girl that I met recently was telling me all about government conspiracies, secret scientific knowledge, world domination scenarios, the illuminati, and on and on... stuff that I know mostly to be bull. But she gets so excited and enthusiastic when she talks about all of this that I find her to be absolutely charming. A lot of it is just her youth and fast-running mind. She isn't dumb by any means, just too quick to believe. But what a joy it is to allow her to explore her beliefs and just be silent.

 

How does this apply to dating? Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It would have served me well long ago to stop being a Martian.

 

I thought your analogy was a bit gay.

 

Truth be told, nobody likes a know it all. But congratulations on getting off of your high horse to witness the human condition.

 

She sounds quite informed in my opinion, perhaps her and I have the same tin foil hat.

 

It appears you're on the right path. One not always needs to be fascinated with what other people believe, having an interest is more often than not appreciated and sometimes just acting interested is sufficient.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I won't touch on the need to correct everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

I will say that one thing I thoroughly enjoy is watching someone talk about something they love. You can see their excitement and even if I don't understand 100% of it [such as mechanical engineering, which one of my dates was super into] I love learning and hearing them get so wrapped up in it.

[Robert Z]

I thought your analogy was a bit gay.

 

My analogy? I'm not sure what you mean.

 

Truth be told, nobody likes a know it all. But congratulations on getting off of your high horse to witness the human condition.

 

The women in college liked a know it all. I had a few women throwing themselves at me. But your point is correct with one modifier. For me it wasn't a matter of ego. It results from a compulsive need to protect the truth. There was a sense that somehow it was important. I think it tends to go with the turf with technical problem solvers. It is also referenced in the book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, as a classically male trait. Us men instinctively need to fix things.

 

One might say it is ego in that I assumed I was always correct, but the way it plays in the mind is simply as a set of facts. As annoying as it can be to someone being corrected, it all seemed entirely pragmatic from my pov. But as I admitted right up front, it was a flaw in my personality.

 

She sounds quite informed in my opinion, perhaps her and I have the same tin foil hat.

 

Not taken the bait! Not gonna do it!!!

 

It appears you're on the right path. One not always needs to be fascinated with what other people believe, having an interest is more often than not appreciated and sometimes just acting interested is sufficient.

 

I agree. The real personal growth for me is the discovery that I can not only suppress the need to always be correct, I can even enjoy allowing things to be what they are without the need to fix things.

[Robert Z]

I won't touch on the need to correct everyone.

 

Haha, yes, that one gets to people. When I was a young man it was pretty bad. It didn't take long to realize that I had an annoying habbit, and I learned to suppress it, unless I am in my work element in which case I get paid to be a know it all, but it was always a bit of a struggle in personal terms. Only in recent years has it become comfortable to just listen whether the information is correct of not. Meeting so many new people [women] over the last year has really brought it home.

 

I will say that one thing I thoroughly enjoy is watching someone talk about something they love. You can see their excitement and even if I don't understand 100% of it [such as mechanical engineering, which one of my dates was super into] I love learning and hearing them get so wrapped up in it.

 

What if you do understand it and you know it to be false information? Do you get the same enjoyment from listening? And how would it affect your perception of this person as potential dating material?

Edited July 26, 2012 by Robert Z