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Posted

So my ex sent me a text at 3 a.m. that said "Miss you." It was a complete surprise, as he had never texted me since our breakup nearly 5 months ago. I did not reply. I found out later from a mutual friend that this new girl he was pursuing after our breakup had friendzoned him. Makes me glad I didn't respond and risk myself getting hurt all over again.

Posted

Good job not replying, that shows a lot of willpower. It's been about 5 months for me too and I still struggle to think how I would respond if my ex texted me something like that. It's also clear he was using you as a backup now that the girl he was really interested in pushed him away. Keep up the good work!

Posted

My ex tried to come back after a year and I somehow was strong and said no. I'm so glad I did.

 

Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in the reflection. --Quote from Lady Gaga

 

Once the trust is destroyed beyond a certain point. It's extremely hard to go back to the way things were previously.

 

SuperGeek

Posted

If trust is broken, a relationship may never be the same. It could end up being better. I think of trust more as a house. When it gets broken, say destroyed, then you have to rebuild. Rebuild the foundation and everything about it. If both people are able to do that and let go of the past, and more importantly learn from what they did, you can get a better relationship with much better communications.

Posted (edited)
If trust is broken, a relationship may never be the same. It could end up being better. I think of trust more as a house. When it gets broken, say destroyed, then you have to rebuild. Rebuild the foundation and everything about it. If both people are able to do that and let go of the past, and more importantly learn from what they did, you can get a better relationship with much better communications.

 

I have tried that several times and the trust could never be fully restored. There seems to be a point at which no amount of upgrades and fixing the house will rebuild the foundation. In the case with my ex, she left me for another man and put me through 1.5 years of hell and pain - no amount of rebuilding the house can take that away. The experience is forever burned into my memory.

 

I agree it's possible to rebuild trust, but it is very hard to do. It really just depends on the situation, what caused the trust to erode, and how hurt both parties involved are. Some people are completely okay with forging on with less than optimal trust levels, I am not.

 

Would you drive your car over a bridge that had questionable foundation?

 

SuperGeek

Edited by SuperGeek
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