Author popvix Posted July 28, 2004 Author Posted July 28, 2004 OK just wanted to check in here and give a quick update and some words of thanks. When this was in its early days, i needed this forum so much to pour my heart out and try and at least let off some steam while my heart was breaking. For the first week it was sheer hell inside and i couldnt even bring myself to work, or concentrate on anything. Its now been 16 days since we "broke up" and this saturday will be the day she arrives to pick up her remaining belongings and move onto her new life. Apart from that since the 12th, she stayed over 2 nights ... once the evening we agree'd on the break, and once when she came back from her home town to look for a place to live (as mentioned before she intended to stay on and off right up till the end of the month but i wouldnt allow it) I cant say i havent sat around thinking about her and us for pretty much the whole time since this has happened, but my way of dealing with that has changed alot in 16 days. There have been some very low points, some very angry points, and a whole host of emotions but eventually reality will sink in and the pain and anguish of losing your current life will ebb away and be replaced with what you make of your new life. I still love my ex girlfriend very much and the more i think about our relationship, the more i realise that there was nothing wrong with it in the slightest... the only thing that broke us up in the end was a pinch of circumstance, an ounce of stupidity and a few other factors that when slotted into place ... drove a wedge between us very quickly. ... i will look back on our relationship and time together with fond memories because it was something great, and rather than worry about MY loss... im going to think of this as HER loss. I know that the people and the environment she has chosen may not be the best place to find happiness... and if anything i really hope that hits home with her at some point and realises that theres more to life and love than chasing a "thrill". We've exchanged emails purely on a financial subject and as much as they made my stomach turn to hear her talk to me like im a bank manager and not her ex-lover, i know that this is not about my problems and emotional make up, and i can have a sense of satisfaction knowing that my only crime as a boyfriend was being faithful, loving, commited and wanting above all else to make something better of myself with this person. Im not sure i need to spend alot of time unloading my emotions like i did a few weeks ago, but im very thankful for the people here that listened, the ones who posted... and generally a forum with many many level headed people who ultimately give great advice. Im sure ill post on here for the short term when my frustrations and emotions kick up, but i think i can see a light at the end of the tunnel here..... i know theres someone out there who wants what i do from life, the only problem i have now is finding them! Over and out.
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