Author verhrzn Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Last time I checked, they don't give out belt's unless you earned them. In other words, you were good enough. But again that's not Ok with you. For some unhealthy reason you need to turn everything into a competition. Worse yet, you consider not being in the top echelon as being a complete failure. Number 1.
Pirouette Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Posters who tried to help: McGuffin. Sorta Tman, sorta Piroutte. That's about it. Unless you care to mention someone I missed? You've had a foot more in the "pile on" camp. ThaWhalogian and E came in just to roll their eyes. You claim my conclusion is faulty, show me how instead of just piling on. Curious, why am I only sorta? I think I have some valid points or I wouldn't bother posting, and I think I'm to the point without sugarcoating. I also think that I'm not malicious. I know you game, so would you play something like Just Dance? I bet there are more ways you can cut back that wouldn't deprive you of your quality of life, and a cruise or something could do you wonders. And you never answered me about acknowledging that there are young woman uglier than you. If you want true self-awareness, you must examine your reality as it really is, otherwise it is just as skewed as those people you call delusional for only seeing the good things, or ever good things that aren't there. These are your threads and of course you can do as you like, but I don't think it helps you much to bicker back and forth with posters about the same things. I get the urge to defend yourself, and actually I'm glad that you have spirit, but the energy could be better used elsewhere.
Els Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I think you missed the fact that the majority of people on your 'list' said many kind words to you before, and spent hours writing long posts that they'd hoped would be helpful. One by one, they gave up. Personally, I still wish the best for you and am genuinely concerned for you, believe it or not. I had just ascertained a long time ago that any attempt at helping you turns into fruitless arguments, and I don't actually feel like going there, especially given the fact that I am under a bit of RL stress myself lately. Yes, the rest of us have problems as well, and yet some of us try to care about YOURS, only to be lumped in with trolls and spurned over and over and over again. Apparently coming in to express concern for your welfare was akin to 'eye-rolling'. Who would've thought. 3
Lonely Ronin Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Number 1. Jesus, do you believe everything you read on the internet? And what is with this great urge you have to degrade yourself?
McGuffin Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 V, please don't let people who are mean bring you down. There are always people who will be mean and will pile on if they think they're getting to you. I notice that you seem to accept the worst things people say as the truth. I think you have a good point when you say that people will often say things to be nice or make someone feel better even if they're not true. But you can't ignore the fact that there are also people who are the opposite who feel terrible about themselves and say the nastiest things to tear other people down even if those things aren't true. You can't take what those people say at face value any more than you can the stuff that's overly positive. In my first post here, I was told that I was prone to cheating and everyone in the thread had a fairly negative opinion of me because I happened to have one of those once in a lifetime attractions to someone at the same time I have a boyfriend and was confused about it. Those posters don't know me, and so I had to take their comments with a grain of salt. One poster even said I make all dating and relationships pointless. It's not delusional of me to recognize that this poster was an insecure a-hole who knows nothing about me and just wanted to make me feel bad to make his or her pathetic life feel better. Some of the people who are being negative now seemed to me like they were trying to help at first. But people get frustrated and angry when their efforts go to waste. The fact that they're getting angry with you means they had some emotional investment in your life. They wanted to see you happy. If they didn't care at all, they wouldn't be frustrated. 4
tman666 Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Yeah, what's this "sorta" crap about!? Do you think I'd be spending my precious time and energy to respond to you if I wasn't trying to help you in earnest? Anyway, it's a shame that you can't see all the people who are trying to help out for what they are. People have different ways to portraying their advice and feedback. I don't think anyone here is trying to troll you. All relationships (even amongst random posters on an internet forum) are give and take. Right now, I see a lot of people giving to you their best intentions, doing whatever they can to crack that shell of yours. What can you do to give back? Or do you just plan on slashing and burning through people's patience and good intentions until the internet goes black? 1
Author verhrzn Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Yeah, what's this "sorta" crap about!? Do you think I'd be spending my precious time and energy to respond to you if I wasn't trying to help you in earnest? Anyway, it's a shame that you can't see all the people who are trying to help out for what they are. People have different ways to portraying their advice and feedback. I don't think anyone here is trying to troll you. All relationships (even amongst random posters on an internet forum) are give and take. Right now, I see a lot of people giving to you their best intentions, doing whatever they can to crack that shell of yours. What can you do to give back? Or do you just plan on slashing and burning through people's patience and good intentions until the internet goes black? I'll stop posting at all. There, how's that for giving back? Break out the party hats!
tman666 Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I'll stop posting at all. There, how's that for giving back? Break out the party hats! That's twisting my words and you know it.
snug.bunny Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I feel bad when people invest time into someone, only to have it thrown back in her/his face. 2
Author verhrzn Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 That's twisting my words and you know it. ... No, that was a genuine suggestion on my part. Wouldn't that make posters happy, thus giving back? Poll? Who wants me to stop posting, raise your hand.
ptp Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 ... No, that was a genuine suggestion on my part. Wouldn't that make posters happy, thus giving back? Poll? Who wants me to stop posting, raise your hand. Glad your back, there some posters were very concerned about you. Did you ever get that blog started?
dreamingoftigers Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 That was an interesting article. So do you figure that you aren't a great dating candidate because you don't have a Nobel peace prize?
Pirouette Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I'll stop posting at all. There, how's that for giving back? Break out the party hats! Ignoring me some more? You must find me very boring compared to these other posters! Anyway, I'll take the hint and bow out of your threads. Now what am I going to do with all this wisdom? Hoard it I guess!
McGuffin Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 ... No, that was a genuine suggestion on my part. Wouldn't that make posters happy, thus giving back? Poll? Who wants me to stop posting, raise your hand. If you stopped posting, would that make you happy? If not, then no I don't want you to. If anybody wants you to stop posting, they have the option not to read your thread. I think most realize that.
Author verhrzn Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Ignoring me some more? You must find me very boring compared to these other posters! Anyway, I'll take the hint and bow out of your threads. Now what am I going to do with all this wisdom? Hoard it I guess! I'm not ignoring you, I just have no response to give except "Okay." Or argue with you. But I'm apparently not supposed to argue. So.... arguing or just saying "Okay." Which is preferable? If you stopped posting, would that make you happy? If not, then no I don't want you to. If anybody wants you to stop posting, they have the option not to read your thread. I think most realize that. Reeeeeeaaaalllly, because there seem to be a whole heck of a lot of em who don't seem to realize that. For example, I enjoy how ThaWhalogian came into the thread JUST to say he'd put me on Ignore.
tman666 Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 ... No, that was a genuine suggestion on my part. Wouldn't that make posters happy, thus giving back? Poll? Who wants me to stop posting, raise your hand. I'm pretty sure what would make everyone the happiest would be to see some sort of improvement in your state of mind and perception of self that acts as a catalyst to finding happiness and love. 4
dreamingoftigers Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Ignoring me some more? You must find me very boring compared to these other posters! Anyway, I'll take the hint and bow out of your threads. Now what am I going to do with all this wisdom? Hoard it I guess! You can drop bits of it in random people's mailboxes That'd be funny just to find notes of: Don't get involved romantically at work! Make sure to spend time with your kids!
Lonely Ronin Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I'm pretty sure what would make everyone the happiest would be to see some sort of improvement in your state of mind and perception of self that acts as a catalyst to finding happiness and love. ^^^^ this! 2
McGuffin Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Reeeeeeaaaalllly, because there seem to be a whole heck of a lot of em who don't seem to realize that. For example, I enjoy how ThaWhalogian came into the thread JUST to say he'd put me on Ignore. lol. You keep saying you're not smart, but your replies tell me you're not lacking any smarts. That's true. But he still didn't tell you to stop posting. So he realizes he can just not read your posts.
Pirouette Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 I'm not ignoring you, I just have no response to give except "Okay." Or argue with you. But I'm apparently not supposed to argue. So.... arguing or just saying "Okay." Which is preferable? Actually, I'd love to hear some arguments provided they're done with civility. I'm always up for a debate, and I like hearing other opinions and expanding my own. I'm not pretending to know your life, so absolutely I want to hear your POV. Or yeah, an ok would be nice too, if that's all you have to say, but I suspect you have much more than that in you. I wasn't kidding when I say I love to analyze too.
Author verhrzn Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 I'm pretty sure what would make everyone the happiest would be to see some sort of improvement in your state of mind and perception of self that acts as a catalyst to finding happiness and love. It continues to strike me as bizarre why people want me to become delusional about myself. Do posters really think that lying to myself is gonna help? "Hey, I'm attractive! Hey I'm smart! Hey I'm a good writer!".... When none of those things are true?? Does that not just set up false expectations? Unrealistic standards? I just do not see what good could come of that! And if I recall correctly... the few times I tried to be positive and adjust my thinking, I got shot down, HARD. I already get accused of having too high of standards and being unrealistic about my "league" and that's WHILE considering myself ugly and dumb. If I were to actually raise my expectations, what sort of scathing criticism would I earn then?
dreamingoftigers Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 It continues to strike me as bizarre why people want me to become delusional about myself. Do posters really think that lying to myself is gonna help? "Hey, I'm attractive! Hey I'm smart! Hey I'm a good writer!".... When none of those things are true?? Does that not just set up false expectations? Unrealistic standards? I just do not see what good could come of that! And if I recall correctly... the few times I tried to be positive and adjust my thinking, I got shot down, HARD. I already get accused of having too high of standards and being unrealistic about my "league" and that's WHILE considering myself ugly and dumb. If I were to actually raise my expectations, what sort of scathing criticism would I earn then? Here's how this works: A very nice book called How to be Happy. It's a great book and very helpful when I have felt like a failure in certain aspects. It may even help you to best adjust to your lot in life.
Lonely Ronin Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 Do posters really think that lying to myself is gonna help? "Hey, I'm attractive! Hey I'm smart! Hey I'm a good writer!".... When none of those things are true?? Does that not just set up false expectations? Unrealistic standards? I just do not see what good could come of that! This is the problem... What people want you to see and believe, is. Hey, I'm not ugly! Hey I'm not a moron! Hey I'm an ok writer!
Author verhrzn Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Here's how this works: A very nice book called How to be Happy. It's a great book and very helpful when I have felt like a failure in certain aspects. It may even help you to best adjust to your lot in life. But is Happiness worth the cost of truth? Would I rather be miserable, but living in truth, or happy in a lie? If I have to be delusional to be happy, is it really worth it? This is the problem... What people want you to see and believe, is. Hey, I'm not ugly! Hey I'm not a moron! Hey I'm an ok writer! So they instead want me to believe that I am absolutely ordinary, nothing special, absolutely average in every way. Except that doesn't explain my absolute disaster of a love life or a career. Or if someone isn't unique in some way, why even bother with life? If you can't put your own stamp in the world, why be here?
Janesays Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 So they instead want me to believe that I am absolutely ordinary, nothing special, absolutely average in every way. Except that doesn't explain my absolute disaster of a love life or a career. Or if someone isn't unique in some way, why even bother with life? If you can't put your own stamp in the world, why be here? Hate to break it to you, but MOST people are completely average and not unique in the least. I'd go so far as to say that originality is completely extinct. The fact of the matter is, most people aren't anything more then pencil pushers, clock watchers, and cogs in the great big wheel of life. But rather than cry about it, most would also rather snatch at the little happiness that's available to us before we finally kick it. Welcome to the world. It's got it's highs and lows, but you'll get used to it. 1
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