my ex left me and is already with someone else and she contacted me for a crap reason

[mr.wavy]

Ive been with my ex for 3 years, we were going to get engaged, I was also very close to her family. My ex and I broke up in the begining of may due to me being to clingy. The whole of may she gave me mixed signals, like shed be cold one minute and the next shed be lovey dovey. I went no contact towards the end of may and I started getting her attention and she started chasing me, like i remember when i was on a day out with her to help her with some shopping she tried holding my hand, hugging me, kissing me etc telling me shes been miasing me and that she still wants to get engaged eventually she asked me out after over a week of her chasing me at the beginning of june (she called me and we were on the phone for 4 hours ), I agreed because I truly love her, anyways I did show some clingyness again (I'm at a bad point in my life) and I regretted it and 7 days later on June 7th she tells me (in a vague manner) shes unsure about getting back together, her attitude changed from i love yous all the way back to being cold.

 

After that phone call I went no contact. She didn't contact me either until June 14th, she called randomly and I told her I was busy and that I couldnt talk (I was working), she miss called me again 4 hours later at midnight. I didn't call her back. Anyways as time passed I heard of her talking to another guy allot like ALL the time (like she use to, to me) and her even going out with him to the city (by the way this guy is the opposite of me) and also i heard about her telling her friends really negative and hateful comments about me, about how I was really horrible when her friends would ask about me.Shes also deleted my account on facebook that she knows i hardly ever use and she also deleted me of msn (which we hardly used anyway) but what im trying to say is the lines of communication havnt been open for 6 weeks (i had to wish her happy birthday through a friend). She also got a new phone and number as her old contract ended.

 

Ever since June 14th i haven't contacted her, and she didn't contact me until 5 weeks later (3 days ago). She asked her friend for my number, her friend gave it to her and she called me on a private number right away. I picked up and I was polite and I asked her what's up, she said she needed help setting up the wifi for her little cousin (she was actually at his house, I could hear him, also I was the person who set it up last time, its really straight foward). Anyways I told her I wasn't at home and that she should try google-ing the issue as it would be more helpful anyways I cut it short and then disconnected. She called again 10 minutes later asking when id be home (probably so I could help) I said in the evening and she said okay and said bye then disconnected.

 

My question is do I still have a chance, she clearly didn't save my number in her new phone, and she called me on private so that I couldn't find out her new number (when I can just ask any one of her friends for it if I wanted to know it). Also she could have asked so many other people to help her instead of me, she could have googled the issue also if she truly hated me like she has been saying to everyone.

 

I dont even know why it is she was saying those comments we didnt even have a bad break up, she just said vaguely that shes confused and i went no contact, i also have been living life normallly, like i dont upload depressing quotes on my blog like a majority of people do, ive basicly given the impression im fine without her, when im not and as a result i get hateful comments and her deleting me almost everywhere and changing her passwords (i knew hers and she knew mine). Its nearly been 6 weeks of no contact all ive gotten is a phone call a few days ago asking for help with her cousins wifi, im suprised she even remembered that i was the one who set it up last time I trully miss her and want her back. Ive gone over the relationship and the good points outweigh the bad, I just don't know what to do in this sitaution anymore and whether she would come back

[YorickBrown]

Whoa! Dude! I was just about to post/ask something like this (although it hasnt really happened to me yet the way you uhmmm....detailed it in your post)

 

Anyways...here's my answer to you (and I guess to myself also and others that are in the same predicament)....which wierdly enough is also kinda of a question (also to myself)....

 

Can you still TRULY accept her again the way she is now and probably will be...after what she did to you? and it's not really a question of forgiveness...but of trust:( for the long-term.

[TheBetterPerson]

Oh honey, i know this feeling all too well, its torture!

But i wouldnt read too much into it!

IF she is dating again she probably is over it and that you set up the wifi last time so she was probably only asking for that reason!

 

Like the last comment, trust would come into equation, do you not think that she would do this to you again?

 

I would carry on as you are and try to forget her, i know you want her back but thats only cause your hurting, lonely and probably want some answers but thats only going to make things worse!

 

Time on your own to heal is the right way to go, unlike her!

 

 

I SWEAR we should have a break up party all of us!!!

[Chi townD]

She was probably bad mouthing you to her friend because they really liked you and didn't understand why she would give up on such a great guy. You have to realize that with so many people telling her what a great guy you are, she has to convince herself and others that she made the right choice by breaking up with you, so she demonizes you to others so they can say ,"OH! Well....if he was doing all of that...well...okay, I understand then."

[Sugarkane]

She was probably bad mouthing you to her friend because they really liked you and didn't understand why she would give up on such a great guy. You have to realize that with so many people telling her what a great guy you are, she has to convince herself and others that she made the right choice by breaking up with you, so she demonizes you to others so they can say ,"OH! Well....if he was doing all of that...well...okay, I understand then."

 

That's what my ex did to me. I think they like to do that a lot. My therapist used to say that i painted my ex black. I think they do that at least equally, if not more.

Edited July 25, 2012 by Sugarkane