Sanman Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 This has been a tough month for my ldr. The gf is moving to a new place and is being overworked at her job due to a corporate takeover. I haven't seen her this stressed in the entire relationship (more than a year) that we have been together. Add to that, my new job just got into full swing and I am still trying to get a handle on everything. This is also the first time in over a year that we will not see each other for more than a full calendar month. We had planned to meet last weekend and things got botched up with other commitments. We wanted to meet but it would have left us both with no sleep all weekend and heavy work weeks. We just had another long conversation and she was not happy about me putting my foot down about us not seeing each other if it meant 7-8hrs of total traveling for maybe 3-4 hrs together aside from sleep/driving and spending every day of the weekend traveling from one commitment to the other. As it was, I spent so much time traveling that I passed out after dinner Saturday and only had Sunday to rest and relax. Particularly in her case, it is getting really tough to balance her being away from family, friends, and me (all in different cities/states). She doesn't want to choose between us, but sometimes it makes things so crazy that the weekend sucks and I would leave angry and exhausted from so much running around. Just venting....but I am open to suggestions.
LDR234 Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 I don't mean to be harsh, but is LDR really for you? I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years now, half of that being LDR (8 hour travel time between us). Be both have family and friends in a different state than where we are. I am balancing a job and a masters degree and a visiting relative for a few months at a time. I talk on the phone and skype and when we are together it is heaven! but I don't get angry and frustrusted after every conversation. I guess the first thing you have to do is assess whether LDR is right for you. Second, set a date that you both can look forward to seeing each other. I buy tickets at least 2 months out at a time...I know it is a long time, but counting down helps Good luck
Author Sanman Posted July 25, 2012 Author Posted July 25, 2012 To clarify, I'm not angry and frustrated after every conversation. This is actually out first real issue in over a year. The problem is that we are getting busier and my gf is in a city for her job where she has few ties outside of co-workers as she moved there a year ago. We've been doing great until recently. The issue is that she wants to do everything with everyone and since she lives in a city, she has no car. Thus, this past weekend would have been spent hopping from her parents house to see family (1.5-2 hrs from her) to then having me pick her up (3-4 hr drive for me), then go to a friend's b-day party for the night (1.5 hr drive), crash at either my place or her parents (1.5 hrs drive again either direction) and then get up sunday and put her on a bus (45 min to the bus and 4-5 hour trip home from my place) or drive home myself from her parents (3-4 hr trip for me and 1.5-2 hrs back to her place for her). That is just too crazy of a weekend for me. It was hectic enough when we spent a weekend visiting each other rather than doing all this, but that was worth it. This is about 12 hrs of traveling for part of Saturday together and not even quality time as we are with a bunch of other people. I just don't see the point in that. 8-10 hrs of traveling is fine for a day together of just us, but when it is for a few hours together at a party where we are mingling, it stinks IMO.
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