zanzi Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 my red flags were just that we started to argue, all the time, about nothing. We would walk down the street arguing. I started to get irritated by him. we went on a break. He said he needed space. He said he needed to find himself. He came back one time to see me and said he still loved me and wanted to work it out. But I could see that my selfishness had just about erased that love from his heart for me. Sometimes I wished I didnt love him/ could test the waters with another. Horrible. I was such a f*cking b*tch. I was such a fool. He deserved so much more respect and love then I could give him. I was too busy. too busy, too busy with uni. Too busy with me, me me. I'm glad he recognized that. So thats how it ended.
OsiStruck Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 didn't want to have sex anymore and was always looking for an arguement, silent treatment...
g450 Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 (edited) Yes g4... Years!!! And no offense taken because you don't know the whole story. It's not like i had a bad job, it just wasn't a job that could support her and me like she wanted. I got that job right out of college and it wasn't even 30K. It was enough to support myself and pay for us during date nights and such, but I would be the one who paid for things the majority of the time. We had our own separate places throughout most of the relationship, and when the economy went down from 2007-2010, it made it even more difficult. And if I couldn't find a better job, how would that be my fault? I live in a big ,metropolitan area of more than 6 million people. It's very competitive. fetish I wouldnt sweat it Fetish. I make well under 30k myself but I own a home and two vehicles. I consider myself a sucess. Was actually saving money to boot but that was before I started dating LOL. Women can be expensive. Especially if they come as a package deal with some other guys rugrat. Your X must be really hight maint. Hell between the two of you things should be peachy fianancially speaking. Do you live in a mansion or something? I find it od that you say its very competitive there because there are 6mil ppl. I would think the opposit. Where I live jobs are also very hard to find but its pretty much a desert here. Edited July 29, 2012 by g450
OsiStruck Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 She told me she still had feelings for her ex. (She went back to him.) I gave so much...she gave so little. The relationship was all about her and her needs/wants. It's been a year now and when I look back on it I think ....what the hell was I thinking? Never again! I agree.... she has to contribue... relationships are about compromise and sharing..... good job!
fetish1980 Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 I wouldnt sweat it Fetish. I make well under 30k myself but I own a home and two vehicles. I consider myself a sucess. Was actually saving money to boot but that was before I started dating LOL. Women can be expensive. Especially if they come as a package deal with some other guys rugrat. Your X must be really hight maint. Hell between the two of you things should be peachy fianancially speaking. Do you live in a mansion or something? I find it od that you say its very competitive there because there are 6mil ppl. I would think the opposit. Where I live jobs are also very hard to find but its pretty much a desert here. We stayed in apartments but it was really hard. We were both 20 somethings and had no kids. I didn't have a problem supporting her when I could, but sometimes her attitude made it diffficult. She began to demand and expect for me to pay her way which made me not want to do it. Plus, i got tired of her screwing off her money: overdrafting her account, always running to payday loan places, and gambling. It made me nervous about marrying her. We couldn't get an agreement on the finances and couldn't agree on a financial plan for the wedding. I guess i still have my days where I look back and feel like I failed her because I couldn't support her financially like she wanted. But i have to remember that it wasn't my job. I still did alot for her and paid for stuff the majority of the time. I ended up paying a $1500 debt of hers. fetish
Sheppy99 Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 Red Flags: Ex bf was her "best" friend Introduced me to her family after 2 weeks of hanging out. Brought up what my perfect wedding would be on the 3rd week of dating Yikes.....
biogirl05 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I had an ex tell me that hitting me made him feel better... and that i shouldn't be surprised if his friends and family thought he was dating someone else, because he told me he was lying to them about who he was dating. But he was only dating me... yeah, right. I think we ignore these things because we are loving and trusting, we believe what they say and want to believe the good so we overlook the bad. But now I will always break up with the guy once i see a red flag. No offense guys, I just don't want to take the risk anymore.
StrangeBehaviors Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I'm so stupid at times. I ignore all Red Flags when it comes to puzzy. "Oh, you're on have daddy issues, just broke up, are on house arrest. That's interesting....When can I come over?"
Biscous Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 -Her being young -Some of the things she did being young (had a miscarriage, which is not for certain since her ex told me it was an abortion. During our relationship VERY early she got an abortion, sex at a very young age) -The friends she associated with. Her 'best friend' is/was a lesbian, cheated on women with other men, had multiple abortions, does drugs -Appeared at some points to be 'validated' by sex rather than enjoying it. She thought I was losing physical attraction to her because we didn't have sex as frequently past the 'honeymoon phase'. I recall seeing her one time and having sex, really good sex twice that night. The third time I got tired and she got really mad. It made me feel really upset. -At the beginning of the relationship (two months in) she was 'conflicted' about things because her ex called her up. Fast forward now, a year later, we broke up and she's now with her ex again after being with me for over a year. Other than that she was a very sweet girl to me and very loving.
KMC1990 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Became overly critical of things, distanced himself both physically and emotionally, stopped telling me things about his life...basically started treating me like an acquaintance, rather than a long term girlfriend. Really really painful to go through. Possibly even more painful than breaking up.
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