Stuck in a rut Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 We started dating our senior year in high school, we have been out of high school for 2 years. We broke up last november a couple days before our 2 year. Our breakup lasted a month and a half and he came crawling back. Throughout our relationship we have had our roller coaster moments (which I call his PMS) but he always has calmed down and wants to work things back out. I have never done anything to him. I honestly dont know if I can be a better girlfriend. I never put him on a leash, and always encouraged him to hang with his buddies. I always sat and thought about things before I got mad at him and when I did I reseolved them maturly. Our first time we broke up, it was just because we both needed to experience other things without “answering to anyone” I never dated because I wasnt ready, let a lone the break up wasnt my choice. I did the no contact and when we first broke up he was texting me every other day and what not. Well, 3 weeks after our breakup he had a rebound which lasted two weeks and a week after that ended he came crawling back. We were together for 7 months after we got back together. And now 3 weeks ago, we broke up. He had a really hard time breaking up with me and told me that he ws scared to see me with anyone else. I told him, that he cant have his cake and eat it too. He knows I love him and wants to be with him, but knows I wont be thrown around. About a week after we broke up, he held a party at his house and had all our mutual friends over, which bugged me because I felt like i should have been there. Well the next night I hung out with our friends and they said something about my ex and I asked if he was chasing after a certain girl, and they said no but told me it was someone different.Well, not realizing his buddy was standing right behind me so I knew I was in trouble. A couple days later I get online and he facebooks me and told me he wanted “to get S***T straightened around” and i just was like ok? and he replied “nothing happened between me and *so and so* she was here at the party and thats it. I just dont want drama to start, and maybe I shouldnt even say anything but I wanted you to hear it from me” Remind you I have not came in contact with him at all. I just replied ok, “i just asked. Its your choice not mine” and he said “I know, i just didnt want drama to start” and I said “ok” and that was the end of the conversation. The next weekend was my 21st birthday and one of our mutual friends held a party for me at her house (bonfire) that is less than a mile from his house. I knew he had a friend of the family wedding to go to so I knew he was going to be there but for how long I wasnt sure. And I knew it being a saturday night he would want to party, but I was with all his friends for my birthday. Well, when he left the wedding he text a friend and asked what was going on and she said that it was my party at her house and I was there. and he never replied. So we were like, ok? he isnt invited so whatever. We blew it off. So at like 2 am I got this text from this kid that my ex hated in high school. And he asked what i was doing and i just said i was at a friends for my bday and he asked if he could stop by and i said no. he said ok ill be there in a min, i told him like 3 times to leave me a lone and he wouldnt. I thought It was wierd how he got my number because its not on facebook, but I didnt think my ex was with him due to my ex and him werent friends. So my friend at the party and I went into the house and went to the bathroom and when I walked out my other friend was like you need to go to bed, so I did. I layed in the tent (we camped out) and my one friend who helped me to the bathroom sat with me. I could hear my ex’s voice but figured it was someone else. So i asked my friend like 5 times if my ex was there. And she said no, then like 5 mins later I heard my ex’s laugh and busted out of the tent and we was pulling out of the drive way, blaring his radio, honking his horn and peeled out. I started crying, my friends told me that they made him leave and that he had no right to be there and that he is just being an A$$ and what not. His best buddie that was at my party made him leave by force. And my best friend said she told him that he needed to leave and if he was to ruin my party she would kill him and his claim to her was he wanted to talk to me and wish me a happy birthday and my friend goes. you couldnt have textd her? thats all she has wanted all day, and you stooped so low to not text her. Probably 20 mins later after he left, I got a text saying “Happy Birthday..im sorryy i didnt tell you on your birthday I just didnt think you’d want to hear it from me.”I didnt reply back, I just went back out and partied with my friends and finally passed out at 5. He didnt ruin my birthday. I had a blast, nothing was going to bring me down that night. At about 10 am the next morning I txtd him back just saying thank you. And i havent heard from him since. I dont really know what to think, I just know I want to be with him. I know he is being an A$$ but I know he is capable of being a great guy and the way we were. I just want to get my head around this. I go to a counseler, have been for 5 years now just because I like the neutral party and let my stress out. She said he is just having a party streak again because he hasnt had a summer where he can party with the college kids and answer to nobody, and that its just a phase. Will it cool down when everyone goes back to school? Remind you, I have not forcced contact on him. I have not texted him since the day we broke up 3 weeks ago. Him getting ahold of me through facebook and then him showing up at the party then texting me is him contacting me. So how should I take that? I feel stupid for wanting him back after he has done this, but its easier to be on the ouside looking in. Anyone that has been in the shoes of a person that has gone through this or anything simular knows. Im just scared he wont come back. I guess my ultimate question is, why does it matter if him and *so and so* did anything at the party. Why is it so important for me to know that nothing happened? And why did he show up at my birthday party? My guess on that is he was checking up because I was single and drunk, but still, why does it matter?? Please help. Im not ready to give up. I know if he was to come back I will make him work and prove to me, and trust me I will. I just need some insite and hopefully a little positive note that there is still hope. I love him with everything I have, I cant give up yet. More info. Last time we broke up we had school the same days (go to same college) and it was easy for me to walk by him looking good and healthy and confident. now that its summer and I wont see him for another month till school starts (if we cross paths) what should i do?
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