miss_jaclynrae Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Not to mention some texts don't justify a right away text.
nessaaa Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 If a guy suddenly stopped texting me I'd assume he's not interested anymore ESP if he used to text on the regular. I wouldn't text him unless I really really liked him, I'd send one text asking what's up and see how he responds to that, cuz never know when these guys are just waiting for you or not interested. But I think guys should do most of the chasing in the beginning. This idea came to me in answering another thread where I was in support of a guy who stopped texting a girl because she stopped texting him, even though in the initial stages, they were mutually contacting each other. Someone else opposed my stance, stating that a man should lead, so it's his job to contact first. Is that how it is? Should a man be the one to initiate everything? Ladies; if a man you were interested in suddenly stopped texting you, would you text him first? Or continue to hold out? Or would you assume he lost interest and move on? Men; if you find yourself always having to be the one to initiate contact, does it ever get old? Do you ever one day decide to go cold and see if she'll bite? Has it worked?
USMCHokie Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Not to mention some texts don't justify a right away text. Indeed, which is why I avoid texting prior to the first date...unless it's part of arranging that date. People seem to think a text saying "Hi" or "Sup" warrant an immediate response or all hell will break loose... By the way, I actually do have to talk cars with you, but I think it can wait until you have PM privileges. 2
Author MrCastle Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 You're reading way too much into this. Yeah I expected an answer of this kind to pop up at some point. Glad I'm venting here and not to a girl I know in real life. Fundamental incompatibility. Easy day. So what about the next issue that bothered you about a girl? Gonna sweep that one under the rug too? No, but no one wants to hear what they're doing is wrong/a turn off. No one wants a mirror held up to their face. I don't think telling a girl she needs to start initiating contact more is going to get her panties wet. I'm very laid back too, and let a lot of things roll off my back. This bothers me, but I act as if it doesn't. I'm getting a little tired of holding back though, admittedly.
Author MrCastle Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 Indeed, which is why I avoid texting prior to the first date...unless it's part of arranging that date. People seem to think a text saying "Hi" or "Sup" warrant an immediate response or all hell will break loose... Agreed. I never text things like that.
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Indeed, which is why I avoid texting prior to the first date...unless it's part of arranging that date. People seem to think a text saying "Hi" or "Sup" warrant an immediate response or all hell will break loose... By the way, I actually do have to talk cars with you, but I think it can wait until you have PM privileges. EXACTLY. PM privileges to come shortly.
Author MrCastle Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 LS editing system is terrible. I wanted to add more to my post. Agreed. I never text things like that. Nothing boring that warrants an equally boring answer like "nm, you?" I only text when I have 1.) interesting things to say or 2.) questions. Both of which demand responses.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Yeah I expected an answer of this kind to pop up at some point. Glad I'm venting here and not to a girl I know in real life. No, but no one wants to hear what they're doing is wrong/a turn off. No one wants a mirror held up to their face. I don't think telling a girl she needs to start initiating contact more is going to get her panties wet. I'm very laid back too, and let a lot of things roll off my back. This bothers me, but I act as if it doesn't. I'm getting a little tired of holding back though, admittedly. But I agree with Hokie though if it becomes an issue you have to address it.as Ive said I respond to messages and guys differently. And certain cirvumstances ie work can prevent me from responding. I remember in my last relationship my texting history with my ex was very turbulent. He could literally go a week withoit texting me. The fact is if you voiced your concern and your opinions are underminded, as Hokie has said, you ' launch'.
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 LS editing system is terrible. I wanted to add more to my post. Agreed. I never text things like that. Nothing boring that warrants an equally boring answer like "nm, you?" I only text when I have 1.) interesting things to say or 2.) questions. Both of which demand responses. See, still not clear enough, many things people can text me do not warrant immediate texts from me. Including both of those, and to say they "demand" responses sounds terrible.
Author MrCastle Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 See, still not clear enough, many things people can text me do not warrant immediate texts from me. Including both of those, and to say they "demand" responses sounds terrible. If I asked a question, yes...anything ending in "?" demands an answer. I didn't ask it so I could see how the words looked on my screen. I asked it so that I would get an answer back. As for interesting things; that's subjective, but what I mean is, I'm not one of those guys that texts "sup?" and put it all on the girl to come up with stuff to talk about. If I text you, it's because I have something interesting to say. Whether containing substance, or humor, or whatever, it should receive an answer. Maybe not 5 minutes after I sent it, but an answer nonetheless
USMCHokie Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 No, but no one wants to hear what they're doing is wrong/a turn off. No one wants a mirror held up to their face. I don't think telling a girl she needs to start initiating contact more is going to get her panties wet. I'm very laid back too, and let a lot of things roll off my back. This bothers me, but I act as if it doesn't. I'm getting a little tired of holding back though, admittedly. Of course, it's not a dealbreaker, and it's not something I'm going to bring up on the second date. If all else is going well and a relationship is starting to form, then that's when communication becomes important to lay the foundation for that relationship. It's probably not wise to start off seriously dating someone with festering issues that can easily be resolved...
Author MrCastle Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 Of course, it's not a dealbreaker, and it's not something I'm going to bring up on the second date. If all else is going well and a relationship is starting to form, then that's when communication becomes important to lay the foundation for that relationship. It's probably not wise to start off seriously dating someone with festering issues that can easily be resolved... Well I don't "seriously date" anyone. Obviously if I was looking for someone to get serious with, I would only date those who shared this view of mine, or if they didn't, made it easy for me to tell them how I felt, and would heed my concerns. I'm talking about casual dating. People you're not comfortable having a serious conversation about this with.
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 If I asked a question, yes...anything ending in "?" demands an answer. I didn't ask it so I could see how the words looked on my screen. I asked it so that I would get an answer back. As for interesting things; that's subjective, but what I mean is, I'm not one of those guys that texts "sup?" and put it all on the girl to come up with stuff to talk about. If I text you, it's because I have something interesting to say. Whether containing substance, or humor, or whatever, it should receive an answer. Maybe not 5 minutes after I sent it, but an answer nonetheless Well that is where I DEFINITELY disagree.
Author MrCastle Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 Well that is where I DEFINITELY disagree. Sounds like we would really hit it off if we crossed paths in the dating world.
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Sounds like we would really hit it off if we crossed paths in the dating world. That is the whole point of dating right? Different strokes for different folks!
Standstrong Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Txting is my preferred form of communication but it can be a real pain in the a**e when trying to communicate with someone you don't know very well. For example, there was a guy older than me, not that tech savvy, who thought txting him on occasion meant I was really serious!! Then I know some younger males who, like me, txt a lot just to chat and they don't take it the wrong way. I've read that girls should let guys txt them but I just think its all BS.
USMCHokie Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Well I don't "seriously date" anyone. Obviously if I was looking for someone to get serious with, I would only date those who shared this view of mine, or if they didn't, made it easy for me to tell them how I felt, and would heed my concerns. I'm talking about casual dating. People you're not comfortable having a serious conversation about this with. Well, I will always be in the school of thought that encourages communication, even for stupid trivial sh*t like this. If she can't handle the conversation, then our maturity levels probably aren't in sync... Again, easy day.
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Well I don't "seriously date" anyone. Obviously if I was looking for someone to get serious with, I would only date those who shared this view of mine, or if they didn't, made it easy for me to tell them how I felt, and would heed my concerns. I'm talking about casual dating. People you're not comfortable having a serious conversation about this with. In that case, it shouldn't matter that much. Right? I mean, why do you think I am so non nonchalant about "texting games"? It is because for me when casual dating, I don't really see the point in worrying, it is CASUAL. Once things progress, such things matter more.
Author MrCastle Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 In that case, it shouldn't matter that much. Right? I mean, why do you think I am so non nonchalant about "texting games"? It is because for me when casual dating, I don't really see the point in worrying, it is CASUAL. Once things progress, such things matter more. Why? Because if a human being sends you a message, the human thing to do is reply. If we were talking on the phone and you asked me a question, how would you feel if all you got was complete silence? Texting is a very impersonal form of communication, but communication nonetheless. If I texted you a question, and you don't answer, we have a problem. 2
counterman Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I don't like texting and have no rules for it. But during the early stages of dating, I usually initiate texts/calls. If things are going well, usually the girl starts initiating too. If it gets to the point where I am the only one making things happen, then I will casually say 'alright, you can pick the next place' - if she gets offended by this and feels the need to keep being chased and thinks that I should be the one initiating all the time, then she has another thing coming. She'll be dropped and I'll be on to the next girl straight away. I've had a few girls pull the stunt on me where I initiated a text and a call and they don't reply for like a week acting as though nothing as happened. What do you think? I'm going to keep chasing you? Stupid. I would like to reiterate that I don't like texting, especially in the early stages of dating. It's too bad that a lot of the girls in my age group prefer texting. I'm usually proactive and I take a lot of initiate but if I've been initiating a lot of contact with a girl and then one day I've got a heavier workload and extremely busy and I don't initiate for a day or two and she takes this as me being 'uninterested' - then I gotta question her feeling of entitlement. How about initiating yourself and asking a simple 'how are you?' or something along those lines. Seriously, things would be so much simpler if people weren't playing stupid mind games. My friend is in a relationship where he initiates ALL the time. Seriously, his girlfriend never, EVER initiates anything. It's funny because at the beginning of the relationship, he said he preferred it that way because 'guy's ALWAYS lead'. Now, he's depressed as hell because she doesn't give him anything to work with. If he doesn't contact her for a week, he wouldn't hear from her in a week. He's been in this relationship for 2 years now... and he's only staying in it because he thinks he can't do any better. Meanwhile, she's getting all her fun and whatnot from her friends. Stupid. 1
Author MrCastle Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 I don't like texting and have no rules for it. But during the early stages of dating, I usually initiate texts/calls. If things are going well, usually the girl starts initiating too. If it gets to the point where I am the only one making things happen, then I will casually say 'alright, you can pick the next place' - if she gets offended by this and feels the need to keep being chased and thinks that I should be the one initiating all the time, then she has another thing coming. She'll be dropped and I'll be on to the next girl straight away. I've had a few girls pull the stunt on me where I initiated a text and a call and they don't reply for like a week acting as though nothing as happened. What do you think? I'm going to keep chasing you? Stupid. I would like to reiterate that I don't like texting, especially in the early stages of dating. It's too bad that a lot of the girls in my age group prefer texting. I'm usually proactive and I take a lot of initiate but if I've been initiating a lot of contact with a girl and then one day I've got a heavier workload and extremely busy and I don't initiate for a day or two and she takes this as me being 'uninterested' - then I gotta question her feeling of entitlement. How about initiating yourself and asking a simple 'how are you?' or something along those lines. Seriously, things would be so much simpler if people weren't playing stupid mind games. My friend is in a relationship where he initiates ALL the time. Seriously, his girlfriend never, EVER initiates anything. It's funny because at the beginning of the relationship, he said he preferred it that way because 'guy's ALWAYS lead'. Now, he's depressed as hell because she doesn't give him anything to work with. If he doesn't contact her for a week, he wouldn't hear from her in a week. He's been in this relationship for 2 years now... and he's only staying in it because he thinks he can't do any better. Meanwhile, she's getting all her fun and whatnot from her friends. Stupid. This is it bro. This is it. This post almost moved me to tears. You get it man. It's like you're in my mind. Get out of my mind! 1
USMCHokie Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 ...and he's only staying in it because he thinks he can't do any better. Meanwhile, she's getting all her fun and whatnot from her friends. Stupid. And this is because he lacks the ping pong balls to stand up for what he wants in a relationship. People may think that voicing your grievance over such a seemingly small matter is whiny and "unmanly"...false, it's the exact opposite. I would surmise that this is all part of the confidence piece: "If you don't want to compromise with me on something as stupid as texting, then I can just as easily find someone who will." 2
Author MrCastle Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 And this is because he lacks the ping pong balls to stand up for what he wants in a relationship. People may think that voicing your grievance over such a seemingly small matter is whiny and "unmanly"...false, it's the exact opposite. I would surmise that this is all part of the confidence piece: "If you don't want to compromise with me on something as stupid as texting, then I can just as easily find someone who will." It is unmanly. When a man says to a girl "you know, I'd appreciate it if you initiated texts a little more. Getting tired of doing all the work." I highly doubt her first thought is going to be "wow, what a confident manly man! wheeew! take me now!" more often than not it's gonna be "wow haha. this guy is really needy"
Standstrong Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I would like to reiterate that I don't like texting, especially in the early stages of dating. It's too bad that a lot of the girls in my age group prefer texting. I'm usually proactive and I take a lot of initiate but if I've been initiating a lot of contact with a girl and then one day I've got a heavier workload and extremely busy and I don't initiate for a day or two and she takes this as me being 'uninterested' - then I gotta question her feeling of entitlement. Yeah, but not all of us take it as being uninterested ...... it's healthy to have a life, I wouldn't think twice if I didn't hear from someone for a few days ..... if I was truly worried I'd call.
Standstrong Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 And this is because he lacks the ping pong balls to stand up for what he wants in a relationship. People may think that voicing your grievance over such a seemingly small matter is whiny and "unmanly"...false, it's the exact opposite. I would surmise that this is all part of the confidence piece: "If you don't want to compromise with me on something as stupid as texting, then I can just as easily find someone who will." I agree and ffsakes its nice to communicate with someone who is just straight down the line!
Recommended Posts