Nicchmcm Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Hi all, I've been in this really serious relationship for two years. We have always lived within fifteen minutes of each other and everything has always been ridiculously easy for us. He's my best friend (has been for five years) and we each see the other's family as our own. My boyfriend and I are extremely close. However, **** happens and his mom refuses to pay for him to go to school unless it's a military Academy four hours away. And this would be fine but there is no cell phone/facebook/webcam usage allowed. He is not allowed off campus or allowed to speak to anybody off campus unless on designated visiting weekends or holidays. He leaves in three weeks and don't get me started on how much of a mess I've been. I'm proud of him for getting into the school and pursuing his dreams of being in the air force and I wouldn't ever wish anything else for him. I'm glad that he's going away because it's what's best and itll be a great experience. But im still a wreck. Small things trigger it, such as when people ask me if I'll be okay when he's gone and what's going to happen. I just don't know how to handle it at this point. I'm not really one to cry in front of people as it makes me uncomfortable but when I'm alone or sometimes with him it all comes pouring out. Has anybody else been in a situation similar to this? I need help on how to cope... Thank you so much.
Forever Silent Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Hi all, I've been in this really serious relationship for two years. We have always lived within fifteen minutes of each other and everything has always been ridiculously easy for us. He's my best friend (has been for five years) and we each see the other's family as our own. My boyfriend and I are extremely close. However, **** happens and his mom refuses to pay for him to go to school unless it's a military Academy four hours away. And this would be fine but there is no cell phone/facebook/webcam usage allowed. He is not allowed off campus or allowed to speak to anybody off campus unless on designated visiting weekends or holidays. He leaves in three weeks and don't get me started on how much of a mess I've been. I'm proud of him for getting into the school and pursuing his dreams of being in the air force and I wouldn't ever wish anything else for him. I'm glad that he's going away because it's what's best and itll be a great experience. But im still a wreck. Small things trigger it, such as when people ask me if I'll be okay when he's gone and what's going to happen. I just don't know how to handle it at this point. I'm not really one to cry in front of people as it makes me uncomfortable but when I'm alone or sometimes with him it all comes pouring out. Has anybody else been in a situation similar to this? I need help on how to cope... Thank you so much. I think the no contact is only during basic training. Once he has completed training, he will have more freedom. Also have you dicussed this with your boyfriend?
Author Nicchmcm Posted July 28, 2012 Author Posted July 28, 2012 It isn't necessarily no contact, it is limited Contact for his entire freshman year. No cell phones are allowed but he is given a phone in his room on which he is allowed to make phone calls as long as they have been pre scheduled. Ipods are not allowed and Internet isn't wireless, and there is a small room in the back of his library that a former student gave him the heads up to where he can go and screw around on his computer and phone but I don't expect him to be there all day. I've talked to him and he really feels bad, he tells me that it'll be okay and we'll be able to talk when we can. I'm perfectly happy with that, but I'm sad that there's going to be such a drastic change seeing as we currently talk every day. He really wants it to work out and gets very upset whenever I mention other possibilities (e.g. Breaks and break ups, even though I'd hate for either of those to happen but hes a boy going into college so I wasn't sure if he knew what kind of life he was about to begin). It's going to be hard to even try to make it work. I'm just feeling so depressed.
ladyabstrused Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I'm sorry. It would be tough, indeed. If you both truly love each other, this distance phase will only make you guys get stronger. But you'll both need a lot of patience and treasure every moment you get to communicate. Good luck though, I really wish you both the best. Hope it will work out for you.
Author Nicchmcm Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 Thank you, that means a lot to hear you speak so positively. Everybody assumes that we won't last and it makes it even harder to be okay with the whole idea. But thanks for your support, I guess the only thing I can do is wait it out.
justwhoiam Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Why don't you go the old way? Snail mail. Did you think of that? Think of when there were wars... soldiers wrote letters to their loved ones... Another option, or better addition, would be preparing stuff in advance, before he leaves, for you to read or find while he's away. He has 3 whole weeks to arrange things for you. That would keep you occupied for a while and you wouldn't miss him that much... It seems like he's strong enough not to miss you or anyway he can manage it (either that or he's underestimating the time test). But I'm not sure if he can get the idea... I think you should have a few things of him to keep with you: a couple of t-shirts he wore for a while (with his smell on), stuff to read, pictures, books, etc. Small things that make him nearer and make you think that he loves you even if he's not talking to you. Talk to him and tell him you need stuff to get along during his absence. Hopefully he'll come up with something. Now try to be positive, don't focus on the fact that he'll be away. When he'll go through bad times on his own, he will think of you. And you don't want him to remember you crying and sad, and so on. Ok? He must remember your smile and how good you make him feel. So these three weeks you need to be strong. Spend time with him, do something memorable for you both. And you always have this forum for your worst times, after all! 1
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