Worthless Piece of Trash

[BrokenMirror]

Update

 

I have been in contact with my ex and in all honesty, it's starting to make me feel better and get more in touch with the idea of not dating him. But it's aroused all these feelings that I had suppressed.

 

Right now, I feel depressed. I feel like no one wants me. I feel like there is something wrong with me, and I don't know what it is. I try to help out whoever I can and whenever I can and I am gentle. I love with all my heart. I want to cry because I am hurting right now and there is no way to soothe it.

 

To make matters worse, the one guy that I liked, and still do, has no interest in me. He lead me into thinking he did by doing all kinds of sweet things and what not and now? He doesn't text when I text, he doesn't im when I im him. And I'm starting to give up.

 

Because the one person I am still in love with is the person I cannot be with because we fight a lot. And the person I need to help me move on, doesn't want me.

 

Am I just some worthless piece of trash that no one wants?

[esteem-jam]

This sounds like a case of "making everybody else happy so they will like me". You dont need to do that. People will abuse your gentliness, politiness. You have direct that loving to yourself -> take a hot bath, do beauty procedures, cook yourself some nice meal, get new clothes. Not all at once Takes time. Dont rush. When you are OK you can return to being good to others.

[BrokenMirror]

I do do that. I keep myself busy as much as I can. And I am usually studying when not free.

 

And as for this bloke, I've had this crush on him for five months and initially he was this really sweet guy, we talked a lot and what not. And now? Well, I texted him today and his imessage showed that he read the message. But he didn't even bother replying.

 

That's a blow to the ego aint it

[nessaaa]

You know your not worthless,don't think anyone with a big heart could be worthless you sound like a sweet person. You need to calm down tho, just becuase a man rejects you it doesn't make you worthless trash. Men aren't even all that...

[BrokenMirror]

Thanks Nessa.

 

I don't know. I just felt really hurt that he did what he did. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, I feel like it is still too soon. But I would love to keep being friends with him. He knows I've crushed on him. And he told me he liked me as well, but he wasn't looking for a relationship.

 

And the few guys that I do know, are trying to get into my pants.

 

I.e. this one guy that is a "Friend" starts off every question with a hey sexy and asks when he gets to see me in swimwear so that he can see my sexy body.

 

this other guy only texts me occasionally, but even his questions are usually perverse.

 

I don't come off as the kind of girl who does flings and just dates randomly. I'm more of a serious relationship kind of girl and I've never liked flings. The only other option I can come up with is 1. these guys are pigs and 2. I'm coming off in the wrong way to these guys.

[nessaaa]

You still want to be friends with someone who ignores you? Forget that. Why would u want to be friends with someone who dosent reconize your worth?? Your ego is just bruised up.

 

When you they talk perverted to you, what do u say to them?

You have to cuss them, tell em to stfu becuase telling them nicely they won't take you seriously. Maybe you should stop talking to men for a while and get ur self esteem up, stop thinking your worthless trash please don't let them bring you down.

[princess_e]

hey, you are not worthless, but you do need to learn how to be happy on your own without a dude around. Having a relationship/guy should not be the determining factor of your happiness. You seem very focused on wanting a guy/relationship, which is understandable, but dont let it consume your entire life and feelings. Its ONE aspect of your life. You just gotta see the bigger picture and recognize the many other things out there that can make you happy too. You shouldnt need a relationship or a guy to feel good about yourself. Theres more to life than that!

[BrokenMirror]

You still want to be friends with someone who ignores you? Forget that. Why would u want to be friends with someone who dosent reconize your worth?? Your ego is just bruised up.

 

When you they talk perverted to you, what do u say to them?

You have to cuss them, tell em to stfu becuase telling them nicely they won't take you seriously. Maybe you should stop talking to men for a while and get ur self esteem up, stop thinking your worthless trash please don't let them bring you down.

 

 

I usually ignore them and stop talking to them. It irks me, so I just don't like talking to them and avoid them altogether.

 

I did make the decision to stop talking to that guy last night. Because even though initially he was a total gentleman, he has changed. He's far too focused on living his life and he's always getting tagged in peoples pics doing various activities and what not.

[BrokenMirror]

hey, you are not worthless, but you do need to learn how to be happy on your own without a dude around. Having a relationship/guy should not be the determining factor of your happiness. You seem very focused on wanting a guy/relationship, which is understandable, but dont let it consume your entire life and feelings. Its ONE aspect of your life. You just gotta see the bigger picture and recognize the many other things out there that can make you happy too. You shouldnt need a relationship or a guy to feel good about yourself. Theres more to life than that!

 

You are right. I do need to learn...I was with my ex for five years so I got used to having someone around and now I feel alone and it creeps on at the worst time. I couldn't sleep last night because I felt so incredibly upset by what he did. I came up with the solution that if I don't talk to him, he won't be able to hurt me.

 

Worst part is right after I finally managed to fall asleep, I dreamt that HE started talking to me. And I'm trying to get out there. Right now it's kind of hard because I have a summer class and a test next week, a quiz and then my final exam. So I gotta buckle down. But I've always been a loner and I have a few friends that I hang out with.

[g450]

Update

 

I have been in contact with my ex and in all honesty, it's starting to make me feel better and get more in touch with the idea of not dating him. But it's aroused all these feelings that I had suppressed.

 

Right now, I feel depressed. I feel like no one wants me. I feel like there is something wrong with me, and I don't know what it is. I try to help out whoever I can and whenever I can and I am gentle. I love with all my heart. I want to cry because I am hurting right now and there is no way to soothe it.

 

To make matters worse, the one guy that I liked, and still do, has no interest in me. He lead me into thinking he did by doing all kinds of sweet things and what not and now? He doesn't text when I text, he doesn't im when I im him. And I'm starting to give up.

 

Because the one person I am still in love with is the person I cannot be with because we fight a lot. And the person I need to help me move on, doesn't want me.

 

Am I just some worthless piece of trash that no one wants?

 

Wow! I think some tough love is in order here so dont hate me too much.

 

You are obviously not over your ex. Yet here you are actively dating. And you are perplexed as to why the guy you liked stopped texting you? Seriously? He probably figured out that you are not over your ex and ran. And rightly so. And the other guys wanted sex from you? Really? Why is this such a surprise to you?

 

You also sound very needy. Texting is for people who are busy and cant answer the phone right away. They answer when they have time. Some people it seems treat their texts like a phone call. I used to hate women that chastised me for not answering their text in 20 seconds flat. I hope you are not one of those. That's very irritating and makes you look needy.

 

You are also codependant. I know because I was like you and made the same mistake you are making right now.

 

What you need to do is STOP DATING right now. Work on yourself. Get to a place where you dont obsese over the ex and are comfortable living on your own without a man in your life. Hard to do but you can do it if you try. Stop relying on other people to validate you. Find happines on your own, alone. Only then should you start dating again.

[CopingGal]

And the person I need to help me move on, doesn't want me.

 

 

Okay, that's your problem right there. Don't look to someone to help you move on. Help yourself. Be strong, stand tall. You have to accept the fact that it takes a long time to get over someone. Just go and live your live.

 

Take care of you.

[BrokenMirror]

Wow! I think some tough love is in order here so dont hate me too much.

 

You are obviously not over your ex. Yet here you are actively dating. And you are perplexed as to why the guy you liked stopped texting you? Seriously? He probably figured out that you are not over your ex and ran. And rightly so. And the other guys wanted sex from you? Really? Why is this such a surprise to you?

 

You also sound very needy. Texting is for people who are busy and cant answer the phone right away. They answer when they have time. Some people it seems treat their texts like a phone call. I used to hate women that chastised me for not answering their text in 20 seconds flat. I hope you are not one of those. That's very irritating and makes you look needy.

 

You are also codependant. I know because I was like you and made the same mistake you are making right now.

 

What you need to do is STOP DATING right now. Work on yourself. Get to a place where you dont obsese over the ex and are comfortable living on your own without a man in your life. Hard to do but you can do it if you try. Stop relying on other people to validate you. Find happines on your own, alone. Only then should you start dating again.

 

 

No I'm not the kind of woman who expects the guy to text back in like 20 seconds because I know that they're probably busy. Even I text back a while later because it would be inconvenient for me to drop everything I am doing and text. It's something I learnt a long time ago.

 

He never knew of my ex. He knew we broke up and that was it. And I feel angry. At myself for being like this and at the guy too. And I haven't dated since my ex and I broke up. I've been single for a good five months.

 

And the fact that other guys wanted sex from me is surprising because the past five years I've been put down by girls around me. I've been told that I am ugly and nothing will help me look better etc etc.

[BrokenMirror]

Okay, that's your problem right there. Don't look to someone to help you move on. Help yourself. Be strong, stand tall. You have to accept the fact that it takes a long time to get over someone. Just go and live your live.

 

Take care of you.

 

But I'm trying. What about the moments where I feel like crumbling? The moments where I want to cry because I'm hurting so much. I can only keep myself busy for so long. I am an introvert, I do not have that many people that I can talk to, let alone open up to.

[CopingGal]

But I'm trying. What about the moments where I feel like crumbling? The moments where I want to cry because I'm hurting so much. I can only keep myself busy for so long. I am an introvert, I do not have that many people that I can talk to, let alone open up to.

 

 

Then you crumble. Then you cry. Then you crumble in a crying heap on the floor and cry until you can cry no more. By the way, if being in contact with your ex makes you feel better, why are you asking if you are a worthless piece of trash?

 

I'm an introvert too. That's one reason why I thought I needed my ex. I hardly have any friends at all. Hardly have anyone to talk to. I have my roommate, but that's pretty much it at the moment and he gets tired of hearing about my pain although he tries to help.

 

It doesn't matter if you have 100 friends or no friends, the result is the same actually...you have to go through the pain. And that's it. It's hard. It sucks. But if you want to come out through the other side relatively healthy, it's what you have to do.

[CopingGal]

And the fact that other guys wanted sex from me is surprising because the past five years I've been put down by girls around me. I've been told that I am ugly and nothing will help me look better etc etc.

 

I'm sorry. I think I've been called just about every name under the sun when it comes to the ugly insults. Yes, it hurts. A lot of men are not attracted to me. But some are. There is someone for everyone. I've seen the most unattractive, hunch back, leg missing, extremely, EXTREMELY fat people with someone. There is someone for everyone...I don't care if you look like Beyonce or a mud monster. There is someone for everyone. It's harder for people to find someone when they are considered less attractive, but not impossible. But you're concentrating on finding someone. Why not just concentrate on living your life. Try to make it a good one. You can do it. Open yourself up to experiences. Go to a museum. Search your family roots. Try something new.

 

I put so much effort into finding someone that I ended up with a sociopathic man. Now I'm concentrating on myself.

Edited July 26, 2012 by CopingGal

[BrokenMirror]

Then you crumble. Then you cry. Then you crumble in a crying heap on the floor and cry until you can cry no more. By the way, if being in contact with your ex makes you feel better, why are you asking if you are a worthless piece of trash?

 

I'm an introvert too. That's one reason why I thought I needed my ex. I hardly have any friends at all. Hardly have anyone to talk to. I have my roommate, but that's pretty much it at the moment and he gets tired of hearing about my pain although he tries to help.

 

It doesn't matter if you have 100 friends or no friends, the result is the same actually...you have to go through the pain. And that's it. It's hard. It sucks. But if you want to come out through the other side relatively healthy, it's what you have to do.

 

I cry until I feel better. And the next day it's the same. I don't want to ever date my ex again. Although he wants to get married. I cannot trust someone who dropped me like a sack and walked away to NOT walk away when we get married. Right now, I'm putting myself into studying. I'm keeping myself busy. The guy I developed a crush on, I've decided to stop talking to him. No need to put myself through more pain for him.

[g450]

No I'm not the kind of woman who expects the guy to text back in like 20 seconds because I know that they're probably busy. Even I text back a while later because it would be inconvenient for me to drop everything I am doing and text. It's something I learnt a long time ago.

 

He never knew of my ex. He knew we broke up and that was it. And I feel angry. At myself for being like this and at the guy too. And I haven't dated since my ex and I broke up. I've been single for a good five months.

 

And the fact that other guys wanted sex from me is surprising because the past five years I've been put down by girls around me. I've been told that I am ugly and nothing will help me look better etc etc.

 

Five months is not long enough. And you should have been honest with the guy and told him. We hate being blindsided like that. It's not fair to him and had he known he may have left you alone so you can properly deal with your loss first. You are NOT dating material right now.

 

And newsflash for you: ALL MEN want sex. That's the way we are wired. You have very low self esteem. You need to work on this. Other people can sensethis. But apparently your guy friend thinks your more than attractive enough so what's the problem? That should have boosted your esteem. First time I had sex after my divorce it did just that. Boosted my esteem. Just dont do it until your ready. It's more important to get over your X first.

 

So people have hurt you and lowered your self esteem. That's the problem. You get your esteem from others when you should get it from yourself and from people who care about you. Best thing to do is to spend time with family. That's what I did. I leaned on them.

[SuperGeek]

Although he wants to get married. I cannot trust someone who dropped me like a sack and walked away to NOT walk away when we get married.

 

Good!!!! I feel the same way about my ex. My ex tried to come back a year later after her 8 month fling/engagement/whatever ended. At the time it was VERY hard to tell her NO, but somehow I managed to pull the strength out of thin air and not go back to it. My ex doesn't get to dump me to to the curb like a pile of trash and then come back later after her fling didn't work out. Realizing that I'm better than her backup plan was the key to recovering (at least for me).

 

I use this quote a lot because it is SOOOOO true:

 

"Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in the reflection." --Quote from Lady Gaga

 

It will get better, it just takes a long time to get over it all. It has been two years for me.

 

SuperGeek

Edited July 26, 2012 by SuperGeek

[BrokenMirror]

Good!!!! I feel the same way about my ex. My ex tried to come back a year later after her 8 month fling/engagement/whatever ended. At the time it was VERY hard to tell her NO, but somehow I managed to pull the strength out of thin air and not go back to it. My ex doesn't get to dump me to to the curb like a pile of trash and then come back later after her fling didn't work out. Realizing that I'm better than her backup plan was the key to recovering (at least for me).

 

I use this quote a lot because it is SOOOOO true:

 

"Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in the reflection." --Quote from Lady Gaga

 

It will get better, it just takes a long time to get over it all. It has been two years for me.

 

SuperGeek

 

 

I'm glad you're feeling better. I know that it's going to take a lot more than just 5 months to get over someone I was with for 5 years. It's not easy, and this is the first time I've had a breakup of such magnitude so I don't know how to go through it.

 

I am busy quite a bit. Being a college student tends to do that to you. So I'm looking forward to the semester so that I can throw myself into it. And for the other guy situation, as angry as it may make me, it's his loss in the end. I know I am a great person and that I give with all my heart.

 

I just hope that one day I can stand where you do.