mayastar Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I just met a guy through an online dating site and it's going well. He lives about an hour drive away. He wants to come in town this weekend and spend time with me. I feel like he should get a hotel or just come in for the day...am I being a prude for not wanting him to stay at my place? I suggested he get a hotel room but he said they were pretty expensive in my city. If he really liked me I feel like this wouldn't be an obstacle. What do you all think?
FitChick Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Find a cheap hotel room like Econolodge or similar and reserve a room for him just in case he pulls the "I'm too tired to drive tonight" line. Make sure you won't have to pay a fee if you cancel though. An hour away is nothing. I know people who commute to work everyday who drive an hour or more. I wouldn't even bring him back to the apartment but meet him at a restaurant or somewhere else. Say your place is being fumigated and you're staying with your sister! Even when I'd been emailing and phoning for months (guy was overseas), I booked him a room at a local hotel. You really have no idea about someone until you meet them. 2
2sure Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Whats an hour drive? Thats a work commute. If this is your first in person meeting you definitely dont want him sleeping over in your house. I would also want the date to have a time frame - a beginning and an end, so I would want him to just come and then go home. Its an hour. 2
HeavenOrHell Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 If you've 'just met' him online, why not just meet up in cafe in town, or you could meet half way, why does he need to stay over if he's this close by to you?! You're sensible to not let a stranger stay at your place. I just met a guy through an online dating site and it's going well. He lives about an hour drive away. He wants to come in town this weekend and spend time with me. I feel like he should get a hotel or just come in for the day...am I being a prude for not wanting him to stay at my place? I suggested he get a hotel room but he said they were pretty expensive in my city. If he really liked me I feel like this wouldn't be an obstacle. What do you all think? 2
HeavenOrHell Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 No need to lie about why you'd rather he didn't stay, any man with some sensitivity and sense will understand why a female is cautious about meeting the first time, and if he's not understanding about it, then he can take a hike Find a cheap hotel room like Econolodge or similar and reserve a room for him just in case he pulls the "I'm too tired to drive tonight" line. Make sure you won't have to pay a fee if you cancel though. An hour away is nothing. I know people who commute to work everyday who drive an hour or more. I wouldn't even bring him back to the apartment but meet him at a restaurant or somewhere else. Say your place is being fumigated and you're staying with your sister! Even when I'd been emailing and phoning for months (guy was overseas), I booked him a room at a local hotel. You really have no idea about someone until you meet them. 3
carhill Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Never met a city where a hotel wasn't affordable. If it's more than a day trip, he can stay in a hotel. He's a big boy; he'll work it out. 2
LittleTiger Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 He's only an hour away and he wants to stay over? I agree with everyone else. He doesn't need to stay. End the date at a reasonable time so he has no issues driving home. If he does have issues then he's not the sort of guy you want to be inviting into your home. 2
ana0pera Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 he should definitely stay at a hotel and be mature/sensitive/sensible enough to make arrangements for this being that it's the first meeting. Alternatively, you two could meet somewhere halfway since this is the first meeting.
LDR234 Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 oh my goodness, if he can't afford a hotel, he can't afford to be in a relationship! Safety first! You don't know the person until you have met him in person and even then he should not be staying over after only meeting online! Don't you see the movies and news about people who they meet online turns out to be predators, I don't want to scare you, but safety first. We care about you and so glad you came here to share your concerns! 2
Author mayastar Posted July 26, 2012 Author Posted July 26, 2012 Sorry, need to clarify....this is not our FIRST DATE...I have had lunch and spent the day with him once before. I do agree that an hour is nothing so I'm not going to let him stay with me. Thanks for reaffirming my feelings!
justwhoiam Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 mayastar, make it clear in advance that there's no chance for you to go to your place together. So he will know, just in case he'd like to get a big intimate with you, and draw his own conclusions.
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