ItsAllOver Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Basically, my ex and I broke up about three months ago. And for those three months, we have been contacting each other on a limited basis. She DOES contact me, and most of the time, I let HER initiate contact. Also, when we have been together with friends, it would appear that she still has some interest in me. Even when she is acting cold, she looks my way FAR too frequently to ignore. Furthermore, she has at times actually seemed to show some interest in me in the form of blantantly touching me, scratching my back, etc. But at the same time, she seems like she is obviously hurt by everything that happened between us. This seems to have left us deadlocked for the last three months - able to talk to each other to a limited extent, but not able to go any further than that. Furthermore, although I have been paranoid about this at times, she does NOT appear to be with anybody else at the time. And, although I can never be 100% sure, it seems to me like BOTH of us might be looking for a way back to each other. All of this has me wondering whether I should write her a letter of apology. I KNOW that there were quite a few things I did wrong in our relationship. And although she didn't give me an explicit reason for the breakup other than that she "can't be in a relationship at the time", I'm sure I know why things went wrong. But when it comes to letters of apology, you hear SO much mixed stuff. Some people say it is a good thing. Specifically, a sign of emotional maturity and a sign that you understand what they are feeling. Others say it is a BAD thing, as it shows women that you are 'weak' and not 'alpha'. What do you think? Also keep in mind that this would be a letter of apology - NOTHING MORE AND NOTHING LESS. It will NOT include begging her back or professing my love for her.
Follower Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Heres a thought, why would you bother sending it if its purely a platonic, iv been an ass, my bad, letter? could you not just grow big enough a pair to say it to her face such as "Ohh btw, i feel like i should say sorry for xyz" "Hope were still cool" And heres why, it is a begging letter you are begging her to come back to you but the problem is your trying to play a mind game, grow out of that quickly its not healthy for anyone.
sohappytogether Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I can tell you that I wrote letters and sent cards to my ex and it worked for us to rekindle things between us. We are now married. I didnt care if he saw me as weak. I looked at it like I gave a damn.
Author ItsAllOver Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 (edited) Heres a thought, why would you bother sending it if its purely a platonic, iv been an ass, my bad, letter? could you not just grow big enough a pair to say it to her face such as "Ohh btw, i feel like i should say sorry for xyz" "Hope were still cool" And heres why, it is a begging letter you are begging her to come back to you but the problem is your trying to play a mind game, grow out of that quickly its not healthy for anyone. I certainly have a 'big enough pair' to say it to her face. However, there are issues here. Specifically, although she is willing to talk to me (and even initiates conversation), she seems to have a problem with talking about anything of a personal nature. If I do this, she seems to go silent or just make every attempt to cut things off. This is why I think sending a letter might be a good idea. This way, she can read what I have to say without my presence, and without feeling like she is under any kind of pressure to give me a response right then and there. She can take what I said, think about it, and eventually respond (or not respond) as she sees fit. As for coming across as 'weak', maybe I should look at this in another way. Specifically, is the kind of girl who would look at this sort of gesture as 'weak', 'pathetic', or simply a 'mind game' TRULY the kind of girl I want to be with? In other words, if such a letter would turn her off, then maybe I'm weeding her out just as much as she weeded me out. Edited July 24, 2012 by ItsAllOver
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