LoveLess808 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 I am looking for help or just someone to talk to about my situation. My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years and I feel that our sex life is gone to heck. I feel that she (My wife, ofcourse) seems to be doing things for the sake of doing things. We are a young 46 and 47 year old married couple and I still have yet a long way to go. She on the other hand seems to have either lost interest in me or is decided to call it quits as far as our love life goes. Dont get me wrong. Not a sex freak, I just want to make love and not just **** for a lack of a better term. You now what I mean. Well, hope someone out there can help. or atleast give me the 2 minutes of their day...unlike some people.
Forever Silent Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I am looking for help or just someone to talk to about my situation. My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years and I feel that our sex life is gone to heck. I feel that she (My wife, ofcourse) seems to be doing things for the sake of doing things. We are a young 46 and 47 year old married couple and I still have yet a long way to go. She on the other hand seems to have either lost interest in me or is decided to call it quits as far as our love life goes. Dont get me wrong. Not a sex freak, I just want to make love and not just **** for a lack of a better term. You now what I mean. Well, hope someone out there can help. or atleast give me the 2 minutes of their day...unlike some people. I will try to help but I will be leaving in a moment so I will be unable to respond. I will just ask you a series of questions so t guage the situation. 1. Have you dicussed your current feelings with her. 2. How would you describe you and your wife's current conditions. Are you going through a stressful expirence with your job, home, etc... What about her? 3. How was your sex life before you reach this point? 4. Do you try to change things up, or has sex merely become an mundane activity, which can happen to alot of long marriages these days. Try to answer these, and i will do my best to give my assessment and a possible solution. But if you have not dicussed it with her then you should immediately not even answer the other questions and go dicuss with your wife. She should be the first person to hear about your concerns. You should do this out of the respect and love for your wife. May be peace be with you!
norajane Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 It could be her hormones, if she's in perimenopause. Has your sex life diminished gradually over years, or does it seem like it came on more suddenly? Are her periods regular, or becoming more irregular? Does she mention any pain during sex? Has your relationship hit the doldrums? Step it up in terms of dating your wife and planning fun time together doing things you both like - a day trip to the beach or bike riding through a forest preserve or summer concerts...whatever activities brought you together in the beginning. Do you still take the time for foreplay? Do you still flirt? Are you physically affectionate outside the bedroom, whether it leads to sex or not? Sex is a lot better and more likely if she has time to get turned on. How does she feel about herself? Is she unhappy about weight gain or wrinkles or something else that might be making her feel self-conscious about sex? Does your relationship have issues? Buried resentments and hurts can be a reason she wouldn't want to have sex. If there are issues between you, she might not want to be intimate with you. Has she changed her behavior with you in other ways? More secretive with phone/email/facebook? Unexplained or odd absences or stories that don't quite add up? It's possible she's having an emotional or physical affair. You really should talk to her, because all we can do is guess. It can be any of these I listed, or probably many other possible reasons. Start off by asking her what she thinks of your sex life together and how she's feeling about sex these days. Tell her you want to be having really good sex together.
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