hcy226 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Hey, I stumbled upon this forum in search of answers. So here's my first post. I'm sorry if this is the wrong section for this. So I am currently 21 and in University. I'll be graduating at the end of this next year. I'm Asian American, and the reason this is important is because I grew up in the U.S. I have an intense longing to move back to my roots for a few years afterwards in order to experience the culture that I missed out on. The heritage I lost. This would essentially happen soon after graduation. Now...the dilemma. I've been seeing this girl for almost 2 years now. I love her and care for her very deeply, but I've done the long distance thing before...and it was horrible. I feel like I need to move across the world to fulfill something for myself, but letting go of this amazing relationship is just so...inconceivable. I am literally at my wit's end . I have thought about doing another LDR, as this relationship is completely different than my last one, but I'm scared that it'll fall apart on bad terms as well. I don't know...I'm also worried that being tied in a LDR will make rediscovering my roots difficult as well. One of my friends tells me that I'm still very young and should not lock myself into a relationship at the expense of an important life experience because I haven't experienced nearly enough relationships to know that this is the one. I'm scared that if I do let it go, I'll realize I've lost one of the best things in my life so far and regret it horribly. I'm sorry this post was so long-winded. Any help would be greatly appreciated
Author hcy226 Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 Problem is I don't think I'm being limited...we motivate each other to be better people. Over the course of the relationship I've changed into a much better person. Much more motivated to do well in everything and try so many more new things... If I really thought I was being held back or limited then I wouldn't be having this dilemma =( .
Author hcy226 Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 Dude, I'm only 21. I'm trying to get advice for my problem NOW not in 20 years...I'm sorry if you're in that situation, but honestly...that's not what this thread is about at all...
mortensorchid Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Youth is a factor, to be sure, in an LDR. But keep in mind as well that if you are not seeing each other at least once a month (no matter how far apart you may or may not be), you will tend to do a lot of fantasizing. And when you are together, it may end up feeding the fantasy even further in the end. And if the other party never comes to see you, or forgets certain things (birthdays, holidays, invites, etc.) or has flimbsy excuses for everything, then they are not into you that much. Be sure that you have your ducks in a row about it, because you don't want to be let down at some point. Just so you know.
FitChick Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Which country are you talking about? Have you ever been there before? You might hate it after a few weeks and come back.
Author hcy226 Posted July 24, 2012 Author Posted July 24, 2012 Taiwan. I don't hate it. I've been there plenty of times, just never lived there for an extended period of time. Always just like 3 weeks at a time. So the problem is it's LITERALLY across the world. 12 hour time difference =(
Forever Silent Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Hey, I stumbled upon this forum in search of answers. So here's my first post. I'm sorry if this is the wrong section for this. So I am currently 21 and in University. I'll be graduating at the end of this next year. I'm Asian American, and the reason this is important is because I grew up in the U.S. I have an intense longing to move back to my roots for a few years afterwards in order to experience the culture that I missed out on. The heritage I lost. This would essentially happen soon after graduation. Now...the dilemma. I've been seeing this girl for almost 2 years now. I love her and care for her very deeply, but I've done the long distance thing before...and it was horrible. I feel like I need to move across the world to fulfill something for myself, but letting go of this amazing relationship is just so...inconceivable. I am literally at my wit's end . I have thought about doing another LDR, as this relationship is completely different than my last one, but I'm scared that it'll fall apart on bad terms as well. I don't know...I'm also worried that being tied in a LDR will make rediscovering my roots difficult as well. One of my friends tells me that I'm still very young and should not lock myself into a relationship at the expense of an important life experience because I haven't experienced nearly enough relationships to know that this is the one. I'm scared that if I do let it go, I'll realize I've lost one of the best things in my life so far and regret it horribly. I'm sorry this post was so long-winded. Any help would be greatly appreciated I would definately go to Taiwan. It is nothing like getting in touch with ones roots. Ask if she would like to come along with you. Who knows what will happen.
lunat1ccc Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Hey, it's honestly hard. I've known my Army girlfriend for a few months until she recently got stationed in Germany. It's been a month since she's been there, but she's changed a lot. We Skype as often as we can, but it never replaces being physically there. She's 19 and I'm 24, so the age factor plays too. I think most people want to explore and really search who they are. You should give it a try if you truly like her. It's better to rather have the relationship fade, than to make her feel that she wasn't worth trying, you know? Either way, realize that at the end, regardless of how the situation turns out to be, there's always a better tomorrow. Good luck and hope things work out for you!
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I survived a LDR when I was 18, and he was 19. Military, but still, it was hard but doable, and DEFINITELY worth it.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I survived a LDR when I was 18, and he was 19. Military, but still, it was hard but doable, and DEFINITELY worth it. I agree with this. For the right person, it's dfinetely worth it
Radu Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Hey, I stumbled upon this forum in search of answers. So here's my first post. I'm sorry if this is the wrong section for this. So I am currently 21 and in University. I'll be graduating at the end of this next year. I'm Asian American, and the reason this is important is because I grew up in the U.S. I have an intense longing to move back to my roots for a few years afterwards in order to experience the culture that I missed out on. The heritage I lost. This would essentially happen soon after graduation. Now...the dilemma. I've been seeing this girl for almost 2 years now. I love her and care for her very deeply, but I've done the long distance thing before...and it was horrible. I feel like I need to move across the world to fulfill something for myself, but letting go of this amazing relationship is just so...inconceivable. I am literally at my wit's end . I have thought about doing another LDR, as this relationship is completely different than my last one, but I'm scared that it'll fall apart on bad terms as well. I don't know...I'm also worried that being tied in a LDR will make rediscovering my roots difficult as well. One of my friends tells me that I'm still very young and should not lock myself into a relationship at the expense of an important life experience because I haven't experienced nearly enough relationships to know that this is the one. I'm scared that if I do let it go, I'll realize I've lost one of the best things in my life so far and regret it horribly. I'm sorry this post was so long-winded. Any help would be greatly appreciated Your asian country will always be there, waiting for you, but a good mate is damn hard to find [especially in your country's society, age group, and with a woman there]. A good partner can make life much much better. A good partner is not a commodity, even though many treat them as such [i know someone who is paying the price for his own Hubris for this]. However, i think whatever we say is meaningless, because you have GIGS and you are inlove with an ideal. Search for Grass is Greener Syndrome. What is your gf's job ?
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