leyah Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Hey all, i’ve been looking at this forum a lot since my break up, u guys give great advice. I decided to share my story as i really need someone to look at it objectively, I don’t know what to do or how to act. it’s a shot version so please ask if you need more details. I’ve been friends with my (ex)bf for 8 years, together for over a year, we are from different European countries but both were working in Asia during out relationship, in love and living together in a happy coexistence. I’ve been quite unhappy at work and wanting to go back to Europe for a while, initially we were planning to go back together but recently we hit a rough patch, fought a lot(mostly about going back) and during one of the fights he announced he wanted to stay in Asia since he was happy with his job and social circle. He didn’t want to sacrifice it all for me because he wasn’t sure our relationship was ‘it’. After these news I decided to leave on my own immediately, he was shocked at first but finally agreed it was for the better, we were breaking up. I handed in notice at work and booked my flight. After the final 2 weeks of living together during which he went back on his decision, broke up with me again, we fought, cried, hooked up and slept in the same bed the whole time we decided to ‘take a break’ as he didn’t really know what he wanted and i was too weak to end things even though I was frustrated and angry. I know, I should have moved out, it’s easier said than done. I should probably mention that we are normally calm individuals who always tried to avoid drama in our relationship. I finally went back to my home country and stopped communicating with him, Less than 2 weeks later he wrote me an e-mail: he was missing me badly, coming back to Europe(already quit his job and booked the flight) and he wanted to try to work things out. He called me and explained what according to him caused the break up and how it was his fault. Great. BUT. He wants us to stay on 'the break' until he figures out his professional opportunities in Europe and whether it will be convenient to continue the relationship. Now we are both in our mid 20’s and neither has an established career so i understand that it’s important for him but can you please tell me what is going on in his head? Is this normal? He claims to be acting responsible. Should I put up with this or is he stringing me along?
Ruby65 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 No, I wouldn't agree to a break. He's told you he had doubts that you were The One.... that's pretty much reason to walk unless and until he comes up with a VERY convincing argument to change your mind. Offering a break..... that's not convincing, that's not even TEMPTING. Wish him the best, but protect yourself and move on. He'll go to HUGE lengths to win you back IF he does realize in your absence that you were The One.... and if he doesn't come to that conclusion, you don't want him, do you?
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