Forever Silent Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Well I am college educated, but I do not really require from my partner. However, since I will be mostly around other college educated people for pratically the rest of my life, I can assume it is highly probable that I will settle down with someone who is college educated, not that is means much to me anyway.
Author Seductive Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 You have every right to date who you prefer but I wonder, if you know those are deal breakers for you why would you date someone who doesn't have a college degree in the first place? When I was young, I didn't know what was right for me and I was trying to be open-minded. All what I cared about back then was dating a person that was nice. Once I finished college and had experienced what it was like to date my exes, that's when I realized that I preferred someone that has a similar level of education. The example you used was a female married to a more educated male. I was looking for examples that had a higher-educated woman being married to a lower-educated man. My parents are like the example you mentioned, but they're from India and it's acceptable in India for the woman to be much less educated than her husband. My parents would definitely be outraged if I chose a man with a lower education, and they would do everything in their power to convince me to only marry an educated man that makes good money. It sounds shallow and gold-digging to the average American, but that's just how Indian parents are when it comes to their daughter's future. You could be an ugly Indian man, but being a doctor will make you a prize in the marriage market. In the "paying for dates" post, I was also explaining why going dutch is frowned upon in my parents' culture. I know it's hard for people to hear, but some places still value a man's ability to provide, just like American culture values a woman's beauty and how slim her body is. The ability to provide is tied in with education and your job. This is why Indian and other Asian families in America push their kids to excel in academics. It's for the future and being able to provide a good life for your children and your parents as they get older.
monkey00 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Like others the person would need a bachelor's minimum to be considered a possible mate. And even so if they are not career oriented, then they should at least strive for it or at least have some kind of job to work their way up. There are too much women that are gold diggers and want to be lazy these days that I can't stand for it. As for a wrap up of education, the person should have little to no debt like me. Unfortunately for those who have masters or PhD's, the level of debt the person possesses is normally very high in the tends of thousands if not over 100k. Large debt for me is as much of a deal breaker as a lack of education. The issue I've run in with a lot of women these days who go for such degrees is they've never held a real full-time job or have had a real career so they lack a lot of street smarts. The types that make excuses for not getting their life started by staying a professional student are the biggest red flags for me (especially the type that has no time for a relationship because of their studies).
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 As for a wrap up of education, the person should have little to no debt like me. Unfortunately for those who have masters or PhD's, the level of debt the person possesses is normally very high in the tends of thousands if not over 100k. Large debt for me is as much of a deal breaker as a lack of education. If you work on earning scholarships all the way through to PhD, you will have no debt My only debt is mortgage.
monkey00 Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 If you work on earning scholarships all the way through to PhD, you will have no debt My only debt is mortgage. Sounds like someone who doesn't have time for a relationship who's working through their PhD! But I take that back, I dated someone for awhile a few years back going for their PhD. But she was a very busy student that's for sure. Mortgage is my only debt too.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 First of all I don't do long term relationships, if I did I'd go with someone less educated. Most women with a doctorate in a math heavy field tend to look like German Shepards. Indeed :laugh:
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Sounds like someone who doesn't have time for a relationship who's working through their PhD! But I take that back, I dated someone for awhile a few years back going for their PhD. But she was a very busy student that's for sure. Mortgage is my only debt too. Honestly, this is most likely the case. Final year of the PhD pretty much requires 100% focus.
TaurusTerp Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 In my program, all the PhDs and MD/PhDs would just be constantly freaking out over this and that experiment, this and that meeting with advisers/PIs, and that got to be overwhelming to the point where I didn't even want to see my MD/PhD girlfriend. They made us MD-only people look sane, and we were/are all a bunch of neurotic weirdos. But, all PhDs, as far as I know, don't pay tuition and actually get paid, whereas I had $300,000 of debt when I graduated.
dasein Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 It used to be a high priority for me, but is not as much now that I don't go into relationships with an eye towards possibly spending the rest of my life with someone.
Woggle Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 It just pisses me off when people look down on those who in actuality are the ones that help make society run. The world can deal with it if advertising execs and Wall St types took off a summer but let mechanics, construction workers and the people who fix the streelights take off and we would have chaos. The fact that our society seems to do it's best to make life as miserable as possible for the working class does not mean they should be looked down on. My friend's ex who dumped him is now mad that he replaced her with a hairdresser because he can't handle a woman with a real position in society which are her words. It's nice to know how lowly she thinks of the people who keep her looking good. I have met both of them and he certainly upgraded big time with the hairdresser. 1
USMCHokie Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Do you prefer to date/marry someone of similar education? Dear god no...it's honestly a bit much...
todreaminblue Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Take off from the age thread. Curious to see how people feel about this. I know college education doesn't always correlate with intelligence. There are some dumb people with Ph.D's and there are some smart and successful people that only attended highschool. I have a masters degree, but I'm not expecting my future mate to have one. I just prefer that he be college-educated and have a stable professional career, as I do. This preference stems from my college dating experiences. I dated two men that had little ambition and no clear career goals. Let's just say it dampened the relationship. What about you? Are there any success stories where you know a female engineer or doctor married to a man that's blue collar? there are different forms of intelligence three I can say off hand my way are street smarts book smart people smart When you meld different types of intelligences you can gain fresh perspective from the other type. Also challenge each other into learning something new and you realize that one intelligence is not better than the other only different and combined able to deal with many of lifes issues and that includes situations in marriage.When you start to feel superior to someone due to intelligence and overlook someone on a ged score that wasn't enough to date.That is when others would say"you arent as smart as you think you are".They are 100 per cent correct.....I am a kamikaze in the street with people smarts and with street smarts.I read enough books I like to learn what I don't know already. My ex had left before finishing a graduating certificate.he has never been on unemployment he never relied on recruitment agencies.... He finds the jobs himself never out of work and has held three jobs at one period of time. Drive, confidence, motivational, indispensable, an asset as an employee, those are his references no graduation certificate in sight.I know because I am the one who posted his resumes out and typed them up without ellipses of course I wrote the cover letters and I said exactly how he was. People respect him and everyone loves him he has never been perfect he makes mistakes....including this ex who dealt with his mistakes He looks the same(shorter hair) as he did in his twenties and he is 44 because he is proud of his health and fitness level, his confidence draws eyes to him. People want to know him from all walks of life. He is open will tell you like it is, and sexy without him even trying his romantic sexy side is for lovers only.If I had overlooked him because I was in the Defence forces or listened to my stepfather (who disapproved) and not accepted him when he pursued me because he was just the bouncer at a club i loved to dance in and had different skin from mine. I would not have had the most amazing fifteen years to smile about....You shouldnt discount anyone period .Make them your friends and see how it goes as far as lifestyle is concerned in my opinion only of course which has a load of bias.....deb
Badsingularity Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 My wifes mom always told her to never marry a man that didn't have a degree. lol She ended up marrying me and I don't have a degree. She claims I am very intelligent:o:love:
dasein Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 It just pisses me off when people look down on those who in actuality are the ones that help make society run. This is the real underlying point. Lots of women simply refuse to date men in trades or who run "unglamourous" businesses, even when they don't have the income or education themselves to equalize their preference. I have lots of friends in the trades and they have a very hard time attracting women on their level because the women are all looking to share the same small pool of professional men, even when those white collar dudes make 1/3 what the tradesmen make. I don't think men treat women similarly, most men, self included would date a waitress or a secretary no prob. 1
Woggle Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 A lot of men can be just as bad. I see people of both genders talking to wait staff and cashiers like they aren't even human. It really pisses me off. It's why I am always nice and I tip well. That kind of stuff can make a person's day. 2
monkey00 Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 This is the real underlying point. Lots of women simply refuse to date men in trades or who run "unglamourous" businesses, even when they don't have the income or education themselves to equalize their preference. I have lots of friends in the trades and they have a very hard time attracting women on their level because the women are all looking to share the same small pool of professional men, even when those white collar dudes make 1/3 what the tradesmen make. I don't think men treat women similarly, most men, self included would date a waitress or a secretary no prob. I think the case for most guys are the fact that looks and personality are enough to please them. Whereas for women, (social) status and reputation mean much more to them in a mate.
Forever Silent Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 First of all I don't do long term relationships, if I did I'd go with someone less educated. Most women with a doctorate in a math heavy field tend to look like German Shepards. That is not true lol!
Woggle Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Maybe guys should consider dating the hairdressers and blue collar women rather than chasing after the high class types that the yuppies chase after. Not all women are upper class princesses.
Badsingularity Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Forgot to mention that my wife does have a degree in my last post.
Forever Silent Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 Maybe guys should consider dating the hairdressers and blue collar women rather than chasing after the high class types that the yuppies chase after. Not all women are upper class princesses. I agree, nothing wrong with hairdressers. Some have dreams of opening up a chain of salons. Also some hairdressers can make some serious money if they know what are doing and work long hours.
jobaba Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I don't require a degree but it would be nice to date someone ambitions and I'll be honest... It's pretty hard for a woman to do much these days without a degree. Men can always do trades/blue collar and move up that ladder, but for women, options are limited. I wouldn't prefer to date someone who worked retail and had no ambitions past that, but if she were cool and non-shallow, I'd probably overlook it. Other things are more important to me.
jobaba Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I'm wildly attracted to intelligence and knowledge, probably more so than I should be. I know education doesn't equal these traits (I've met some pretty dense PhDs in my field), it is a reasonably strong correlation. I wouldn't turn down a good guy with "only" a college degree, but would have a hard time getting serious with somebody who hadn't even gone that far in school. I'm working towards a PhD, so am around mostly MDs and PhDs anyway (or students earning those degrees). MDs and PhDs are completely different animals in my book. Most people who do doctorates do it for the knowledge or because they want to teach. If you do it for the prestige or money, it's not going to pay off in most fields. Most MDs do if for the money. An American MD automatically puts you in upper middle class but doesn't necessarily make you more intelligent. It's a lot of rote force feeding and hours upon hours of rotations.
Pyro Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I always wanted someone who wasn't a dumbass and knows her shyt....whether she learned it in class or not never made a difference to me.
musemaj11 Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 I will date anyone. But when it comes to long term relationship I want someone at my level. People can say whatever about how degree is not important. But there is a reason Bill Gates won't appoint high school graduates as his employees even though he himself never finished college.
stillafool Posted July 24, 2012 Posted July 24, 2012 A lot of men can be just as bad. I see people of both genders talking to wait staff and cashiers like they aren't even human. It really pisses me off. It's why I am always nice and I tip well. That kind of stuff can make a person's day. I agree. Men can be just as prejudice as women are about only dating women with a college degree, even if they just want her to be a SAHM.
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