dlanman Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Everytime he wants to have sex witb me and to show me he really wants me he has to be high. I have ttried talking to him about this and he gives the response that he does this is to keep up with the high sex drive. He also watchs porn on his celw phone and says he thinks of me while he is watching it. We been married over a year now and he has yet to even show me how he loves me and wants me without some type oc stimulent. For the past few days he was high and wanted me badly I just turned off the sex drive turn n go to sleep I told him if he has to be this way to have sex with me then he really isn't into me. But he says how much he loves me and that's not true. I told him women love compassion n romance but most of all a man that can show his real feelings for her..Bc of this I rather masterbate then have sex with him.
Serendipitous_Love Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 I understand getting high and having sex. To me the senses are hightened. But...watching porn on the cell? Then wanting to have sex. It sounds as YOU are not enough of a stimulus to want to have sex and that is wrong. This is not a healthy sexual relationship. I'm sorry. Try talking to him more and laying it all out. If you cant work it out then maybe its not meant to be. Good luck sweetie!
WildHorses Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Do it back to him. Only sleep with him when you are completely trashed. 2
betterdeal Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 What's holding him back from letting go and being sexual and loving when sober? My guess (and it is purely a guess based solely on my limited experience as a man) he's hyper-vigilant when sober, meaning he keeps his guard up high and he only loses those inhibitions when he's high. That then begs the question, why is he hyper-vigilant. But maybe that's not as useful a question as asking, if you can drop your guard when high, and nothing bad happens, and you like how you feel when you drop your guard and are sexual and loving, why not just give it a go when sober, in a safe place? He might find he gets into being amorous if you guys start out gently, softly, tenderly, somewhere secure. Then take it from there.
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