mrxphatman Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Evening guys, I have a dilemma which is probably not uncommon but I just dont know whether Iḿ doing the right thing or not. I started dating this woman last year, Iḿ 42 with two kids and sheś 29 no kids and lives at home with her mum and sister. Sheś incredibly beautiful and is always being stopped by other guys asking her for dates. We met via OLD and hit it off straight away. When we first met I wasnt settled as Iḿ coming out of a divorce so had no place of my own. Things were going really well and we really cared for each other, always texting, emailing etc. She is a very strong and independent person who knows what she wants, she was always telling me to get my own place, get a new job etc and all I kept doing was making excuses which really frustrated her, understandably. She went to America for a week to figure out what she wanted and when she came back she expected me to say ¨Iǘe been a fool, give me some time to sort myself out and then weĺl come together again and see how it goes¨, Unfortunately I didnt say that, I told her I was in love with her which is not untrue. We broke up recently and she says that it really hurt her, not just the breaking up but that I didnt listen to her and it took us breaking up for me to get my ass in gear and do something. I now have a new job, new flat etc and now know what I want. We still go out but itś just as friends now, which hurts me as I want more, she knows I want more but sheś not that into me anymore. She keeps telling me that it really hurt her when she told me she wanted to break it off and she is still hurt where it took the break up for me to sort my crap out. I still have incredibly strong feelings for her, which she knows but I dont know what to do. Should I give up the chase, get on and do my own thing. Is it now a case that now Iḿ a friend I will always and only be a friend or, have you known instances whereby someone sorts themselves out, the other person sees this and says ¨hold on, maybe heś being serious¨. She acknowledges how far I have come in the past couple of months and I believe she can see I´m serious about myself Sheś not dating anyone as sheś concentrating on her dancing career, I to don´t want to date anyone because of my career and also how I still feel for this woman. What would any of you guys do when you care for someone so much like this ?
WhatYouWantToHear Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Well, call me old fashioned and a romantic, but I'd do everything in my power to become the sugar daddy this golddigger wants.
flitzanu Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Evening guys, I have a dilemma which is probably not uncommon but I just dont know whether Iḿ doing the right thing or not. I started dating this woman last year, Iḿ 42 with two kids and sheś 29 no kids and lives at home with her mum and sister. Sheś incredibly beautiful and is always being stopped by other guys asking her for dates. We met via OLD and hit it off straight away. When we first met I wasnt settled as Iḿ coming out of a divorce so had no place of my own. Things were going really well and we really cared for each other, always texting, emailing etc. She is a very strong and independent person who knows what she wants, she was always telling me to get my own place, get a new job etc and all I kept doing was making excuses which really frustrated her, understandably. She went to America for a week to figure out what she wanted and when she came back she expected me to say ¨Iǘe been a fool, give me some time to sort myself out and then weĺl come together again and see how it goes¨, Unfortunately I didnt say that, I told her I was in love with her which is not untrue. We broke up recently and she says that it really hurt her, not just the breaking up but that I didnt listen to her and it took us breaking up for me to get my ass in gear and do something. I now have a new job, new flat etc and now know what I want. We still go out but itś just as friends now, which hurts me as I want more, she knows I want more but sheś not that into me anymore. She keeps telling me that it really hurt her when she told me she wanted to break it off and she is still hurt where it took the break up for me to sort my crap out. I still have incredibly strong feelings for her, which she knows but I dont know what to do. Should I give up the chase, get on and do my own thing. Is it now a case that now Iḿ a friend I will always and only be a friend or, have you known instances whereby someone sorts themselves out, the other person sees this and says ¨hold on, maybe heś being serious¨. She acknowledges how far I have come in the past couple of months and I believe she can see I´m serious about myself Sheś not dating anyone as sheś concentrating on her dancing career, I to don´t want to date anyone because of my career and also how I still feel for this woman. What would any of you guys do when you care for someone so much like this ? i'd tell you to back off and stop hanging out with her. you're only torturing yourself by being "friends" with her. she's telling you she doesn't want to be with you and isn't into you, and you need to believe her. find a new friend and cut her out of your life for a while. why should she be able to dump you and then keep you around to be her friend?
Zammo25 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Flitzanu is right. I screwed up a great chance by not stepping up to the plate with a Woman I now know was just what I needed and loved. Because I did not step up to the plate within a reasonable timeframe I am now history and she is already dating another guy who no doubt will step up to the plate. It hurts like hell but life can be brutal and unforgiving. That's the way it goes I am afraid. If she has lost the feelings my experience with Women is that they will never come back. Sorry.
hinatticus Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 I agree with the other posters to a point. But, If your ex was so strong and independent, why is she living at home and telling you what to do? What happened to you happens to a lot of us. We don't change until sh*t hits the fan. It's an awakening. Hopefully your ex is forgiving. My ex isn't so much and it's been a long road for me. Good luck.
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