beemis Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Me and my long distance girlfriend have been dating for 6 months, and not until lately have I been getting rather upset with not getting enough attention. Both of us are busy, however, I will stop what I'm doing (not immediately) to reply to a text message or phone call, because I know there is such limited time to talk to one another (school, work, etc), and that little effort goes a long way to show someone that you care. Her on the other hand, uses those activities as almost an "excused" lack-of-attention. Which would be completely fine by me, however, I notice during these times she may post something to facebook, or update her blog. (Just today I was anxiously awaiting a reply from her via text, when I noticed she took an instagram picture. From work. Of a cake. Seriously? Taking a picture of food was more important to you than replying to what I had said?) She is about to go to UF in the fall, and I feel like her "being busy" is going to happen a lot more often, for good reason, but I feel like she is not giving the relationship the effort I think it needs. Using a corny school metaphor, It's almost like saying "school work needs to be done by this assigned time, and I'll put time into my relationship whenever.. my boyfriend will understand" but she keeps putting it off the work since there's no due date. Am I being unreasonable for getting upset over these things?
buddy211 Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 I am in the same exact boat as you right now! I stop what I am doing when I get a text/call from her, but it sometimes takes her hours to reply. It is very frustrating to me, and it is near the point where I want to call the relationship off if she can't take time to text me back. I am also looking for some advice on this topic.
delight Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 that is annoying ...though she is entitled to divide her time how she chooses..facebook is really destructive to relationships ... if I were you I would pull back a little.Let her chase you a bit. See how she likes it if you arent texting and putting as much work in and putting pictures of teabags with instagram on your profile equally you could post a picture of you washing your socks ...sending the message "i'd rather wash my socks"! 1
ladyabstrused Posted July 28, 2012 Posted July 28, 2012 I used to be like her, rather do my own thing instead of replying to my ex's texts. But that was because I thought we were spending way too much time and I had no me time at all. So whenever it was possible for me to be away from him, I would take that opportunity. Your situation though... is different. If that's the case, I'd think she's not really that interested in you. If she is, she would show interest. At the very least, include you in on what she's up to..taking pics of a cake or something..she could tell you she's doing that and would get back to you soon or something? Maybe it's time you have a talk with her about this? Maybe she does care, but she's feeling something which you're not seeing. Best solution I feel is always to talk things out before making any assumptions.
LonelyInsomniac Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Me and my ex went through this recently. She was always "busy," posting ball joint dolls, when I'd stay up 'til 3AM just to get a moment with her when she wasn't so "busy" any more. When I was the one working two jobs, and she was the one working none. Emphasis: ex. It's amazing how much time it's freed up for me to, oh. I don't know. Sleep? Get my basic needs met? Without her. Sorry, but it sounds like she's taking you for granted. 1
Aquamelon Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Me and my long distance girlfriend have been dating for 6 months, and not until lately have I been getting rather upset with not getting enough attention. Both of us are busy, however, I will stop what I'm doing (not immediately) to reply to a text message or phone call, because I know there is such limited time to talk to one another (school, work, etc), and that little effort goes a long way to show someone that you care. Her on the other hand, uses those activities as almost an "excused" lack-of-attention. Which would be completely fine by me, however, I notice during these times she may post something to facebook, or update her blog. (Just today I was anxiously awaiting a reply from her via text, when I noticed she took an instagram picture. From work. Of a cake. Seriously? Taking a picture of food was more important to you than replying to what I had said?) She is about to go to UF in the fall, and I feel like her "being busy" is going to happen a lot more often, for good reason, but I feel like she is not giving the relationship the effort I think it needs. Using a corny school metaphor, It's almost like saying "school work needs to be done by this assigned time, and I'll put time into my relationship whenever.. my boyfriend will understand" but she keeps putting it off the work since there's no due date. Am I being unreasonable for getting upset over these things? I've been going through the same thing with my boyfriend. I have come to terms with the bottom line: he's not the texting type. Maybe your girlfriend isn't either? My boyfriend loves me but honestly sometimes he just doesn't know what to say. I have stopped texting him as much as a result. He'll do the same thing to me, like where I'm waiting for a reply and then I see him post something on FB. If it's something that important that I'm going to be freaking out if he takes an hour to respond it is probably something I shouldn't be texting him (and should probably be saying on the phone/skype). Have you talked to her about it? I had a talk with my boyfriend (we've been dating 6 months as well) and explained my texting needs. And we compromised. I would text less if he responded more/quicker to the texts I do send. You could try something like this with her?
lunat1ccc Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 My long distance girlfriend is like this too. I first confronted her (when we weren't long distance) and she said that sometimes, she just looks at the text and forgets to text back. She's now stationed in Europe and with more freedom being done with initial training in the Army, she has more free time to hang out and do other stuff, and tends to really lag out when texting. I, too, feel that she doesn't make the effort to send a simple text. How hard is texting, really? Takes a few seconds out of your time to send a quick one. I think you should really reconsider the relationship and find someone more compatible with your needs. I realize there's too many women out there that you could be dating instead of moping and being over-analytical about everything. Just my two cents.
justwhoiam Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 if I were you I would pull back a little.Let her chase you a bit. See how she likes it if you arent texting and putting as much work in and putting pictures of teabags with instagram on your profile equally you could post a picture of you washing your socks So, this is the best piece of advice I've read so far for your case. See what happens.
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