k100danny Posted July 22, 2012 Posted July 22, 2012 For the last couple of days I have felt quite depressed and lonely, I know that i want a loving relationship and all the things that go with it. treating someone like they are the most important person on the planet and feeling loved in return. My self confidence took a blow when I saw a picture of my ex with a guy 10 days ago, I think she is seeing him but i didnt let her reply to say yes or no and to be honest I didnt actually ask, This is when i just went NC. The thing is this guy is handsome, I don't mind saying that at all, I would consider myself a decent looking guy an have always been told so but I have lately seen that my hair is thinning out and now she seems really happy with this new guy ect and i feel so low. I really miss her even though it wasn't a great relationship, I miss feeling so loved and cared for (ok this wasn't all of the time) I liked that she was jealous of people it made me feel secure even though i know if someone is jealous its not a great sign. I really do feel Like i could message her right now and pour my heart out telling her how much i loved her even though she has hurt me and asking her to please come back home. I think there is a chance she kind of got with this guy or made out she was because of jealousy after my ex wrote on my facebook wall (totally friendly but with a few kisses on the end) this was when she deleted me ect. I know this isn't a reason to want someone back and I have heard the saying before that there are many things we would throw away if we weren't scared of someone else picking them up. I wasn't fully happy in the relationship but it was because of how she was with me not because i didnt love her or want to be with her but i guess this means we werent a good match or she wouldnt have acted that way even though ive been told this is normal for her. Sorry to rant guys I just wanted to write someone either here or in a journal rather than becoming weak and making myself look a fool. I guess i'm just thinking im getting older now almost 30 (i know people will say this isnt old) and feel i should have found someone for a long relatioship, 1 year has been my longest relationship and maybe i was clutching at straws trying to make this one work before i lose my looks and feel past it. For any of you who have follwed my posts just a quick update. no sign of my ******* watch yet 10 days later.
steelgator Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 don't worry dude...10 days isn't that long...but it gets a little better each day. I'm at day 19 for now. My longest going 21 days so im hoping to pass it up soon. Actually I know i will because the days are starting to go alot faster. That first week or two drags on though
AlexanderJames Posted July 23, 2012 Posted July 23, 2012 Hey Danny what are you talking about everyone says your 30's are the best years of your life! I like that you are saying you miss having a loving relationship and feeling loved and important over saying you miss your ex. You might not be doing in intentionally but you're acknowledging that you miss the companionship more than anything else. Which is great. Pat yourself on the back for posting on here and not messaging your ex. There really isn't anything to gain from messaging her. She's either going to ignore it (Which makes you feel worse) or she's going to be friendly and say thanks. Which just starts you thinking ridiculous thoughts like that one word of "thanks" means she wants to work things out. So good on you for coming here. Like steelgator said. 10 days isn't heaps but its 10 days headed in the right direction. Keep on trucking. I've been going on 15 days now myself with one minor hiccup on day 10. Different for me though because she messages me every 1 or 2 days and it's hard to ignore her. I just tell myself she didnt take me seriously when I said I was going NC so she's testing me to see if I'm still wrapped around her finger. Gives the me boost I need to ignore her. Good to hear you staying strong. Keep it up. And good luck with the f****** watch
Author k100danny Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 Thanks guys. Today has been pretty hard to, for some reason lots of memories have been coming back of things we had done together and places we had been on dates ect. I suppose I do miss the feeling more you're right. It is an amzing feeling falling in love with someone and that feeling you get. I do miss her also and im not looking to replace her, I know I couldn't fall for anyone at the minute my heart just isn't available right now. I think I may have hit the depression stage of the break up now, realising that it probably would never have worked and wondering why you both tried for so long and wondering about everything but I do still miss her and knowing I will probably never see her again and any hopes ect we had are now gone is hard to accept. I understand this and I don't beat myself up about it too much. I've had a couple of tearful days i don't mind saying that, But it isn't just the relationship ending i do have other things going on in my life which are adding to this also. I have really wanted to contact her a few times and who knows maybe she has me but i've blocked her so she has no way of contacting me but i know it won't end as I want and I do want her to be happy one day and find everything she wants in life but it's hard thinking she could be so happy now with someone else this soon and i still feel this way although i know i shouldnt take that personally. In some ways I think I'm glad the watch hasn't come back yet, I think it will be a sad day it arrives and I have a feeling there will be some sort of note which i will try and not read. She is obviously too busy or hasnt been able to send it back yet but when the post man brought a package today my heart sank until i realised it wasn't from her. I haven't been able to bring myself to pack all her stuff up and take it to her friends yet, maybe im not quite ready to let everything go but hopefully it will work out well in the end. this forum has served me well through two relationships now and i think it's a great place for anyone needing to talk. Thanks again guys and possibly girls.
Author k100danny Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 well it's now day 11 so I made it through, its probably actually 2 weeks since i heard from her and 11 days since i sent my goodbye message and blocked her. Everything feels different now, It's hard to imagine the relationship as it was and i know that hopefully a few more weeks and i will start to see light at the end of the tunnel. I think i will give it 3 months until i unblock her, well i will see if i still have any feelings before i do.
Author k100danny Posted July 23, 2012 Author Posted July 23, 2012 well it's now day 11 so I made it through, its probably actually 2 weeks since i heard from her and 11 days since i sent my goodbye message and blocked her. Everything feels different now, It's hard to imagine the relationship as it was and i know that hopefully a few more weeks and i will start to see light at the end of the tunnel. I think i will give it 3 months until i unblock her, well i will see if i still have any feelings before i do.
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